CHAPTER 4: SELFISH WOMAN

**Evelyn**

*One month later*

I sighed as I sat alone in the garden, the place where I had once found solace even in the darkest of my days. But right now, as I sat there alone, without the voice of the kids who joined me to play or hear stories from me, I felt more lonely than I had ever felt in my life. Just as I had thought the day Sandra pulled little Mike away from me and left, it was as if the entire pack decided against letting their kids play with me. Even though I saw the kids staring at me wistfully some days, they never came to play with me again after that day. Those innocent souls didn’t seem to know what had I done to deserve this isolation. They could only obey their parents and stay away from me, the fake Luna. Yes, the fake Luna. That was the title I gained ever since the day Freya had arrived. 

I closed my eyes, the garden eerily silent ever since I came here. Even the birds seemed to stay silent in my presence, huh? I didn’t feel this empty even during those days in the beginning, when it was Ryan and me against the world. Even though it was still the case, it somehow felt different. When I married Ryan and became the Luna, though I wasn’t received well, I wasn’t hated by anyone. But right now, if there was anyone that didn’t hate me here, I would be surprised. 

I let out yet another sigh before standing up. It was time to go back and resume my Luna duties, even if no one wanted me to do anything for them. Even when I tried to help the injured, as I had been doing ever since the war began, everyone just shooed me away. What was I supposed to do now when everyone acted as if I was invisible to them?

With those thoughts running in my mind, I walked absentmindedly, only to stop when I heard the voices of several women talking nearby in serious tones. If it was in the past, I would have just walked in there and joined the discussion right away. But now, I just hovered near the entrance of the door, wondering if I should just enter or leave. I would have to act as if I was unaware of their evident hostility. Would it be better if I stick to my pride and walk away? But that was cowardly, wasn’t it? Running away from a tough situation wouldn’t make me the Luna I was striving to be, would it?

As I stood there pondering my choices, I unintentionally heard the women speaking, only to freeze when I heard the words ‘fated mate’. They were talking about Ryan finding his mate. Again.

“I wish the Alpha had met you sooner, Lady Freya. Then he wouldn’t have married another woman,” a woman said in a wistful tone and I realised they were talking to Freya. I felt a pang of envy in my chest at the realization. It used to be me who the women of the pack spent their time telling their problems and their hopes. And now I was replaced by Freya, or Lady Freya as they called her, since they couldn’t call her by the title of Luna, even if they wanted to. But it was just a title that she lacked. Even though she was not their Luna in title, she was their Luna in heart. I knew it from the day she had come. And it hurt to see the people I cared about all treat me as a nuisance, while they treated an outsider who had done nothing for them with far more respect and love than they ever gave me. Was I really that worthless in their eyes?

“Ever since you had arrived in the pack, the Alpha miraculously started winning more and more battles. You have brought luck to the pack, Lady Freya! If this much good things happened with just your presence here, how much better would it be if you could become our Luna for good?!” Someone wondered cheerfully and my heart felt heavy. It was true that Ryan, who had been losing almost every battle before Freya’s arrival, had been winning more and more of them since then. At first, it was considered a stroke of luck. But when he won three battles in a row for the first time since the war started, whispers rose in n the pack. Soon it was decided that Freya was the one bringing luck to Ryan, and he was stronger with her presence. Since then, somehow I was seen as the harbinger of death while Freya had become the angel who came to save everyone from certain doom. 

I tried to shake off the depressing thought, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was really the truth. Was it just a coincidence or was she really bringing luck to the pack?

“If ‘she’ cared for the wellbeing of the pack like she claims to, she would have given up her title th0e moment she realised you were the Alpha’s real mate. But she can’t just give up the power and title even if it means we all have to suffer from this war!” someone added to the discussion. Now they didn’t even bother to mention me as the Luna. I was just ‘she’. 

My first instinct on hearing the suggestion that I should give up my title was to march inside and defend myself. To tell them how much Ryan and I loved each other and how I was striving to be the best Luna for the pack, doing everything I could to help run the pack smoothly. And I had done exactly that the first time someone confronted me, demanding me to leave Ryan so that he could accept Freya as his mate. Needless to say, it didn’t end up well when the entire pack declared me a selfish woman who only cared about power. Now, if I try again, it will only end up worse. I could only stand there clenching my fists as I listened to them complain about my very existence.

“I grew up seeing my parents who were fated mates, and I had always wanted what they had. I had always dreamed of the day I would meet my mate and I imagined the fairytale life I would have with him. But I never imagined that he wouldn’t wait for me,” Freya spoke for the first time, her voice full of melancholy that would evoke the pity of anyone who heard it. She sighed before speaking again. 

“But that doesn’t mean that just to get my mate, I am willing to be a home wrecker. Since my mate is already married, I don’t want to destroy his marriage. If he is happy with his wife, I would stay away from him, even if it breaks my heart.”

Hearing her words, there was a chorus of women praising her for being selfless. But still, I couldn’t help but notice how she stayed silent when the women cursed me for all their misfortunes. And she always did, even in the past when such conversations had come up…

Right that moment, Freya looked up, her eyes staring through the crack in the door to right where I was standing. I froze, wondering if she had seen me. Before I could get out of my stupor and notify everyone of my presence, I saw a mischievous glint flash through her eyes. But the next moment, I blinked and her face looked clueless and melancholic, like it always did. Maybe I had imagined the cunning look?

“You all have been nothing but nice to me ever since I came here. Even though I am an outsider, you never made me feel so. I truly see you all as my family now.” Freya said in a sad voice before sighing. “That’s why it hurts to see you guys suffer because of this war. I have lost my entire family in the war. I know the pain you must be feeling after losing your loved ones. So many lives, lost for no reason… If only I could do something to help end this war for good…” I felt the blood drain from my face as she looked at the pack members with a solemn expression. Why did she suddenly remind them of all the deaths in the pack? As if anyone would forget it otherwise? 

“It’s all because of that selfish Luna of ours! I lost my brother last month in the battle! But does she care? Of course not!” A woman cursed, and the others joined in. 

“Yes, yes! I had even personally met her and begged her to leave the Alpha before Lady Freya arrived here. I pleaded to her to let the Alpha find his fated and become stronger. But she just sighed and left, as if I hadn’t spoken anything,” a woman said before whimpering. “And a week later, my husband died in the battle. I couldn’t even see him before he died. All I got was a cold body…”

“That selfish woman! She says she cares for the pack and us! If she really did, wouldn’t she have left the Alpha already? Would she have regarded her personal life higher than the lives of the pack members if she cared for us? It’s all a lie! She only cares about herself!” A woman cried out, and I felt my breath hitch. This was not just another pack member who I had just seen now and then. The one who just cursed me was Anna, someone I regarded as a friend. But I was just a selfish woman who was pushing people to deaths in her eyes.

As the people continued yelling about my misdeeds, I slowly turned and walked away, my mind in turmoil. Was I really doing the right thing by clinging to Ryan? Was it really selfish of me not to let go, and let him accept his mate? Would it really make everything better if I simply stopped existing?