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Eighty-Eight
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS Eighty-Nine
I didn't deserve a morsel of food.I didn't deserve anything good, I knew that and that's why I didn't want to eat anything that had been brought to my room in the last two days. It’d been ringing in my head non-stop that I didn't deserve the comfort I was being offered here as a prisoner, I wasn't here to be fed or given a comfortable bed to rest my head on, I was here to be taken revenge on and I truly wished he’d get on with it already before the guilt I felt ate me up inside out.When would he finally torture me as he’d kept threatening to? I impatiently wondered. Instead, he’d just been here ordering me to eat as though I was going on a hunger strike to protest being kidnapped, little did he know that I was simply punishing myself for being a bitch to him. But I knew that I couldn’t tell him that, I wasn't seeking pity or sympathy from him, I just needed him to level the playing ground by exacting his revenge on me for my betrayal so that we’d finally be even in a way.He looked
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety
AXELMy head always ended up being a mess after any little interaction with Lisa these days, I could control my emotions and expressions with anyone else but not around her. Even when I managed to successfully control my emotions by masking them, it's a fucking struggle and I almost always lose the struggle.I don’t know why I’d asked her about the memories we shared when I knew deep down that her answers would most likely hurt me. It had slipped out of my lips before I could drop myself and it rendered all the commandeering I’d been doing earlier as null and void somehow. It's all because I let myself get lost in my head while it replayed all the memories of where I would've given the world just to keep watching her smile. I should've never let myself get wrapped up in our memories after what she’d done and how she’d crushed my heart.After the question had slipped out, I needed to do damage control so I masked my feelings again just to get an answer out of her. Things had gone south
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-One
Axel's POVAfter the previous day’s call with Lisa’s father, I was prepared for a more dramatic day than it was because I was ready to pull all the strings I possibly could to track down my lost shipment, or better still, get him to hand it over by surrendering.It was bright and early in the morning, and I was in the study of the safe house where I’d been doing some important paperwork. It hadn't been up to thirty minutes since I’d gotten started on the paperwork before I was irritatingly interrupted by my phone’s incessant buzzing while it rang out loud.As I looked down at my phone on the desk, I noticed that the number wasn't saved on my phone so I guessed it might be a new client or one of our anonymous dealers that reached out with different numbers, so I immediately accepted the call and held the phone up to my ear.“You Bastard!” Was the first thing I heard screamed right into the receiver and I pulled the phone away from my ear briefly because of the unexpected tone that reso
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Two
AXELLisa’s father had thought that I was merely blabbing when I told him what state his daughter was in because I’d hesitated when he requested a video call, well, I was about to show him that he didn't have any playing cards against me this time around.I stood against a wall in the basement of the safe house and watched as one of the guards brought a bloodied Lisa in. There was an empty chair that stood in the middle of the huge basement that was mostly empty and they walked toward it as soon as they entered the room.I watched her very closely as she sat in the chair without so much of a fuss, some ropes drooped slowly around the chair to serve as a restriction for whoever was placed in it. I noticed how her eyes randomly juggled between the guard who’d started trying her up and myself.She looked weak and downtrodden as she let the guard pull her hands behind her and tie them up, her eyes were bloodshot and empty like her spirits had been crushed. After a while, the guard moved t
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Three
Axel’s POVFLASHBACK***After I’d blurted out the question about whether all the memories we’d spent, her replies seemed to have been off- it was as though she didn’t believe what she’d said to me. The entire conversation fucked with my mind In ways I didn’t expect and that did a number on me.As soon as I walked out of the room where she’d been in, I headed straight for the training room because I felt the weight of conflicting emotions in my heart. It made me angry that she still had an effect on me despite her betrayal and I just needed to let out some steam before I took out my anger on someone else.I walked in long and impatient strides and reached the training room in no time, as soon as I walked in I went straight for the punching bags where I usually found solace in times like these. I put on some gloves hurriedly because I needed to let out my frustration badly before it consumed me.The moment I started hitting the punching bags, my emotions were in a whirlwind and I punche
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Four
LISAAs I watched Axel storm off without dignifying my response with a reply, the guilt that had been tugging at my heart enveloped me in a wicked and unwelcome embrace. He must've been put off by my hesitation after he'd asked me why I didn't kill him as I did with my other victims.I had no idea exactly what had been running through his mind as I struggled to form a reasonable response, but I'm certain it must've ticked him off. Most especially because he'd been trying to keep calm while I spoke of my betrayal like it wasn't the worst thing I'd ever done in my entire life.As guilt ate me up from within, my hands trembled slightly as regret and hurt washed over me at the same time. All the emotions that wickedly threatened to tear me apart caused me to be disoriented as I had no idea how to process them without losing my fucking mind.Even in the midst of emotional turmoil, my mind wandered to Axel and dwelt on how he'd been so adamant about getting me to eat the second he walked in
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Five
Lisa's POVI struggled to regain my composure as I saw that my apologies weren't even getting to him, he truly seemed unaffected by everything I'd said. As hard as it was, I tried to keep my eyes on him because I'd hoped he'd read them and find sincerity, but he barely looked at me while I spoke."I'm sorry for everything I did that's hurt you," I said but It seemed like the words had fallen on deaf ears since he didn't dignify me with an expression or response.I watched Axel move the heel of his feet in an unusual rhythm instead of responding to my pleas, it felt as though my apologies had done nothing to calm him. Instead, it seemed to have gotten him angrier at me, especially now. But I needed to get through to him so I didn't have plans to stop apologizing just yet."I'm so sorry, Axel" I started to speak again and he shook his head as though he simply couldn't believe a word that left my lips."I really am, please," I re-emphasized but it did nothing to move him, he seemed hell-
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Six
LISAMy heart crumbled in its cage, I felt painful whiplashes that almost felt like physical pain as my heart which had already ripped a couple of times, ripped again causing me to hold a hand to my chest for support as I realized just how much I’d hurt Axel.It was like a farmer’s rusted sickle’s hook had been lodged in my heart and gotten stuck halfway, my entire body felt like it couldn't my weight for much longer. I knew I’d hurt Axel, that's what I thought and it’d made life miserable for me, but here I am finding out that I actually crushed him.That realization tore me to pieces as I watched how hurt and angry he was, I had no idea that this man had loved me with no bounds. I’d known that his love for me was unconditional, but I didn't have the slightest idea that I had a hold on him that would’ve made him fight the world and give up anything just to be with me.The fact that he'd have even chosen me instead of his family in a heartbeat replayed in my head and caused the sickle
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