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Fifty-Four: An End To This
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Five: An End To This Part 2
AXEL"We need to put an end to an end to this,” she told me calmly as she stared right back into my eyes and I blacked out for a minute, willing my ears so I hear what I just heard.“What thing?” I asked her, mimicking her calm tone because she surely didn’t mean what I think she meant.“This thing between us,” she gestured to the tiny space between us, “it has to stop, we’re risking a lot of things just because of physical intimacy and I can’t do it to anyone. My prestige and respect are on the line if I get caught.”Wow! All night long, I almost lost my mind and sanity because of how she was dressed. I’ve been tethering over the edge of insanity since I saw her in that red gown since I pulled her into my arms since her scent assaulted my nose. I’ve tried to distract myself by engaging that girl just because I don’t want to scare her with how much I needed her back in there. Heck, I couldn’t even think straight while looking into her eyes, fuck, I couldn’t think at all. She had almost
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Six: Missing Her?
AXEL“Fucking hell,” I cursed under my breath as the sharp edge of the paper tore the skin of my finger and I instinctively lifted the finger to my mouth to lick the tiny blood off. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up to see Prince staring at me with a comical look in his eyes. “Care to share what’s funny?” I bite out.“Care to share why you’ve been on edge since morning?” He asked casually, that comical smile still on his lips.“On edge?” I asked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”But of course, I do know what he was talking about. I haven’t been myself since two nights ago when Red called it off.“Of course, you know what I’m talking about,” he spelled out for me with his eyes still locked on mine, “you’ve been on edge since morning, you’ve hardly concentrated on the files we’re supposed to sort through, your mind seems to be all over the place which is so unlike you and now you’re cutting paper cuts. Really? Axel? That’s unfathomable.”Fuck Prince for being so cyn
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Seven: Letting Go
LISA“You know you've been acting unusual, right?” Tana asked me from her bed and I rolled my tired body over so I could look at her. “Why do you mean I’ve been acting unusual?” I asked even though I knew what exactly she was talking about. I haven't been myself since three nights ago when Axel walked away from me.I know I asked him to leave but I wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, to give me a reason to stay, to try to fight for us or something. And then he had walked away leaving me standing in the ember of my ashes, in the shattering of my heart. I wasn’t sure how I got back to the hostel and ever since I got back to the hostel, I’ve barely been functioning. My routine felt mundane, boring and it felt like my life had come to a sudden and startling halt. I was barely able to listen in class and once the class was over, I’d rush back home to bury myself under my duvet. I tried to distract myself by getting lost in programming and coming up with new security codes but everythin
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Eight: Love Or Something Like That.
AXELI took another shot and I gulped it down in one go.The loud music and excited screams in the bar did nothing to better my mood and alleviate my worries. If anything, it was worsening it and I knew I should leave, I should go back home but I badly needed this distraction. I badly needed something or someone that'd take my mind off the turmoil that Lisa had plunged me into.Or better put, the turmoil that Prince's observation had put me into."This is not just about you being into her, you're in love with her."I was in love with her? No, I wasn't. I was clear on that as the day was daylight. I wasn't in love with Lisa. I couldn't be in love with her but what was this hollow hole in my heart? What was this hollow space in my heart after she walked away? What was this irrational need to call her and get her to go back on her words? What was this insane desire to call her and hear her voice? What was this bizarre need to go over and see her face and hear her laugh and just bask in t
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Nine: Trying To Forget Him
LISATana had dragged me to the bar, and now we were standing in front of it. I had tried to talk my way out of coming out and coming to this bar with Tana but she was having none of it. She insisted I had to come here, to party, to socialize to get him out of my mind.I was starting to think that might not be possible, getting him out of my mind, I mean. "Come on, babe, what's that look on your face?" She asked me when I was only looking at the entrance of the bar and not making an attempt to enter."What look?" I asked, feigning innocence. "That sad, wistful expression. Come on, Lisa. We came out here to forget about everything and just have a good time. "And you're a badass, pretty, smoking hot and sophisticated girl. I don't see why you're stressing over him when you can easily get any man that you want."Yeah, I could but none of them were Axel.But Tana was somehow right. Maybe all I need is a distraction, and that won't be difficult, especially since I was already receiving g
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty: Harsh Reality?
LISAI didn't say anything as he dragged me out, dragged me towards the car park, unlocked his car door, and threw me in. I didn't say anything when he rounded the car and he got in behind the wheels when he leaned over to help me buckle my seat belt, torturing us both with our closeness because my breath hitched up and his became very rapid too. Didn't say anything when he started the ignition when he eased the car out of the parking lot and he started driving towards the roads that I’d gotten to know way too much. Because they lead to his house. He didn't say anything too, he just looked as angry and pissed off as hell and it made me wonder why he was so angry because he doesn't have any right to be angry. I was dancing with a guy and he was suddenly our personal space, all angry as if someone stole his candy. He even had the nerve to punch the poor guy, knocking him out cold in the process. Thinking about it now, I was the one that was supposed to be angry, I was the one that
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-One: Love
LISAHis hand didn't leave mine and he didn't attempt to step up position on the floor and I could only stare at him with wide eyes because I couldn't fathom a thing. I couldn't fathom why he was doing this."What are you doing, Axel?""I wish I knew," he smiled a bitter smile, "but I just knew I'd be damned if I allow you to walk through that door without letting you know how I feel."I thought my heart had reached the maximum level for how fast it could beat but why did pick race again? Why was it beating so much that I feared it would burst out of its rib cage?Without letting me know how he feels? How does he feel?"I don't know, Red, I should ask you because what have you done to me? Why can't I stop thinking about you?" He asked me, eyes boring into mine and filled with so many emotions that I couldn't even start to decipher them.He can't stop thinking about me?"I can't stop thinking about you, Red, I see you when I close my eyes, when I open them, I see you in every girl, e
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-Two: A couple or something like that
LISAI woke up feeling refreshed as I'd never felt before. For a minute after I woke up, I was disconnected and lost because I didn't understand where I was. The white walls and interiors didn't feel familiar at all and I was immediately discombobulated before I remembered that I had slept over in Axel's house and I had woken up in his bed. I don't remember ever waking up in someone else's bed.I smiled in contentment as I stretched on the bed and I expected my hand to meet the solid frame that was Axel's body but my hands met nothing. Sleep cleared from my eyes and I looked around the room to find him gone. I stood up and my first check was in the bathroom but he wasn't there. I quickly freshened up before going out of the bathroom and I went in search of him. The smell of fresh toast and brewing coffee immediately assaulted my nose when I stepped out of the bathroom and I took a deep breath to inhale the scent deeply. I started to walk in the direction the aroma was coming from a
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