Chapter 15

I woke up early in the morning feeling so exhausted, kahit wala pa akong nagagawa ngayong araw. I lazily stood up to ready my things, before I went inside the bathroom.

Almost 30 minutes akong nakababad sa ilalim ng shower habang nakatingin sa kawalan. Paulit ulit nag rereplay sa utak ko ang nangyari kagabi.

"Okay, so when's the wedding?"

"There you go partner! At last, pumayag na rin ang anak ko," masayang sabi ni dad at nakipag kamay pa kay Mr. Chua.

"Bud, are you excited to marry Chelsy?" Mr. Chua asked Mason.

Nag lakas loob akong tignan si Mason, and I saw him smirking at me before he looked at his father, "I'm very excited, dad."

"Okay, so we will contact first our event organiser, but for the meantime," tinignan kaming dalawa ni Mason, "you will be staying at this same house."

I breathe a large amount of air before saying, "But I have conditions, dad."

Silence enveloped the entire dining area. All of them are looking at me with a questioning face.

"One, on my fourth year, I will be studying in UP Diliman, and I will rent a dormitory. Two, Mason and I will be staying at our guest house in Batangas, so we're not going to live on the same house right now. Three, ang kasal ay mangyayari lamang pagkatapos namin ng pag aaral. Pero, kung may mangyaring hindi kanais-nais between me and Mason along the way, I'm willing to turn my back against my family," seryoso kong sabi while I'm looking at dad straight in the eyes.

Tumikhim si dad at nakipagsabayan sa paninitig ko, "Gaano ako kasigurado, that you will do your two and three conditions?"

Lumunok muna ako, "You know me dad, lahat ng sinasabi ko, tinutupad ko."

"Then, the deal is over."

"Matapang ka Chelsy. Face the demons of your life," pagkasbai ko non ay lumabas ako ng banyo.

Sakto naman na pagpasok ko sa first class ko, ay kasunod ko lang ang prof ko. Mason, Gertrude and Carla are my block mates for my first class.

"Mugto mata mo," Gertrude whispered on my ear since magkatabi lang kaming dalawa.

I smiled and shook my head, "I slept late," I reasoned out but she did not buy it.

"Ows? Maniniwala ba kami? Oh sige, kunwari naniniwala na kami na okay ang lahat," Gertrude sarcastically said before her gaze went in front.

"Ano?! Pumayag ka magpakasal sa hinayupak na iyon?!" Bulyaw ni Carla nang magkita kita kami dito sa may simbahan.

"And, you wil already broke up with Sebastian am I right?" Gertrude concluded and raised her brows on me.

"Anong iniisip mo? Gumana na naman ba ang pagka selfless mo?" Carla asked kaya agad ko siyang tinapunan ng tingin.

"Ginawa ko lang ang sa tingin ko makakabuti para sa amin dalawa ni Sebastian," I reasoned out pero agad silang napa iling.

"Ano na naman ba kasi sinabi sayo ng demonyo mong ama?" Gertrude asked at bahagya pa akong inakbayan.

"He threatened me,"I answered simple and plain.

"What kind of threat?" Curious na tanong ni Carla ss akin.

Bumuntong hininga ako, "He told me that if I will not do the things he said, may mangyayaring masama kay Sebastian."

Bumitaw si Gertrude mula sa pagkaka akbay niya sa akin, "And did you honestly think na magagawa niya iyon? He's your father, and for sure alam niya na mag rerebelde ka once na----"

I cut her off, "He is my father and he is also a drug dealer and a drug user, so sa tingin mo hindi ako matatakot?"

Walang nakapag salita sa kanilang dalawa. This is the first time that I told them about my black secret, so I understand that they are shock right now.

"A-ano?" Naguguluhan na tanong ni Gertrude.

I looked at Carla, at nakatingin lang ito sa kawalan habang nakabukas pa ng bahagya nag bibig niya. I looked at Gertrude again.

"You heard me loud and clear. Don't expect me to repeat it again," seryoso ko ng sabi sa kanilang dalawa at tumango nalang sila.

"Y-your sister...." Carla couldn't construct a sentence kaya ako na ang nag tuloy non.

"Yup, she's also a drug user."

Mabuti na nga lang at nandito kami sa may simbahan at wala masyadong tao na nag iikot dito. Kakaunti lang, kaya malakas ang loob ko na sabihin sa kanila ang sikreto ko.

Suddenly, I was shock that they hugged me really tight, "I'm sorry. Hindi namin alam na ganon pala ang pinagdadaanan mo," Carla said kaya napangiti ako before rubbing her back.

"It's okay. It's my choice to hide it from the both of you," hinarapa ko sila pareha, "I don't want to be a burden to you guys. May sari-sarili kayong problema, at ayokong madagdagan pa iyon nang akin."

Gertrude playfully slapped my shoulders, "You? A burden? Kahit kailan hindi ka naging pabigat sa amin ni Carla. Tandaan mo iyan."

"So you mean, yung mga cuts mo," tumango na ako kay Carla, "ilang beses ko ng natakasan si kamatayan. Ilang beses ko ng dinaya ang buhay ko. Ilang beses akong sinubukan ni Eloira patayin, but I managed to save myself."

And again, they hugged me again really tight, "You should have told us na may nangyayari na palang ganon, para nakatulong kami sa kahiy na anong paraan," Gertrude said and I immediately shook my head.

"It's fine," I faced them both, "I'm...... fine."

Carla pointed out my wrist na may mga marka pa, "Pati iyan, siya may gawa?"

Ngumiti ako ng mapait, "This one, ako na ang gumawa nito."

Agad silang napatingin sa aking dalawa ng gulat, "What? Hindi ka nag lalaslas, sa pagkakaalam ko," Gertrude said.

Hinawakan ni Carla ang palapulsuhan ko, "And the cut is so deep," nag angat siya ng tingin sa akin, "ikaw talaga may gawa nito?"

Inagaw ko kay Carla ang palapulsuhan ko, "Yup. One night, Eloira wanted to kill me, again. May hawak siyang knife and gun, and that time I was so tired and confused that I wanted all to be finish, so I cut myself," kalmado kong pagkukwento sa kanilang dalawa.

"Yet you're still calm kahit kinukwento mo iyan," puna ni Gertrude sa akin bago ako pinatitigan ng matagal, "you're not okay Chelsy, stop acting and remove your mask on your face."

Natawa ako ng mapakla, "Sa sobrang pag sisinungaling ko na nga sa sarili ko, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang totoo kong nararamdaman."

Bumubting hininga si Carla before patting my shoulders, "Because you got used to pretending and hiding your true feelings. Minsan, try not to pretend and hide your feelings, nakakaginhawa sa loob."

I looked at them both bago ko sila inakbayan pareha, "I'm very thankful that I have you two in my life. Thank you."

"And you should also thank Him," Gertrude pointed at the church in front of us, "kasi hindi ka niya pinababayaan kahit na anong mangyari."

"Tara na, baka mahuli pa tayo," aya ko sa kanilang dalawa. Break time namin kasi ngayon, at medyo napalayo pa kami sa building, kaya kinailangan namin bumalik na.

"Guys, tatakbo na ako. Terror prof ko, laging maaga iyon eh," paalam ni Gertrude nang makarating kani sa main building at dali dali siyang tumakbo papunta sa building namin. Habang kami ni Carla, tamang lakad lang ng mabagal, kasi vacant namin after nito.

 

"Chelsy, are you okay? Wait, hindi ka pala okay. Natutulog ka ba?" Alalang tanong ni Carla pagkakita niya sa akin.

I breathe a large amount of air before nodding my head, "Tanga, huwag kang plastic. Sabi ko naman sayo, minsan you need to be open sa mga tao, lalo na sa amin, " Carla said while she's smiling at me.

"Fine, obviously hindi ako okay, pero anong magagawa ko? Lahat naman ng sakripisyo na gagawin ko o ginagawa ko, ay para sa ikabubuti namin," sagot ko sa kanya

She was about to say something nang mahagilap ko si Sebastian na nag lalakad. As usual, he is wearing his uniform, while carrying his backpack. When he looked at our direction, agad akong umiwas ng tingin.

"Hi love," nakangiting bati niya sa akin nang lapita niya ako.

He was about to kissed me on my forehead, nang umilag ako Agad kumunot ang noo niya sa akin.

"I should go. Excuse me," paalam ni Carla at dali dali siyang umalis, leaving me behind.

Sebastian sat beside me, kunot noo pa rin siya, "Do we have a problem?"

"W-wala....... naman," it sounded like a whispered, but I'm glad he heard it.

He held my hand, at agad ko iyon tinanggal sa pagkakahawak niya. This time, he looked at me irritated and pissed off.

"We have a problem, and you don't want to tell me," he concluded.

This is it!

"Sebastian," I called him and looked at him straight in the eyes, "the thing we have for each other, is over."

He blinked a lot of times, hindi siya makapaniwala na sinabi ko iyan.

"But I don't want," mariin niyang sabi.

"Sebastian, I want to break up! It's over! Tapos na tayo! Ano pa bang gusto mong marinig sa akin?!" I demanded while I'm crying.

"No, please, don't leave me. Please stay with me. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much Lyric, please," he begged and I felt like my heart was being shattered into small pieces.

You need to hate me, "Sebastian, I don't need you! I don't want you in my life! You're not part of my life anymore! I want you gone! I don't love you anymore!"

He tried to hugged me pero tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo ko. He looked up at me and all I can see on his eyes is pain.

"Why? Saan ako ang kulang, Lyric? Sabihin mo sa akin oh. May mali ba? May nagawa ba ako? Tell me Lyric. Huwag naman ganito. Huwag mo naman akong iwan sa ere," he begged again and I saw his eyes sparkling already. He is about to cry.

"Walang kulang sayo Sebastian. Ako---"

He cut me off, "Bullshit!" tumayo siya so he could face me, "Don't give me that, it's not you it's me, reason, Lyric."

A lot of people are already starring at us, pero wala naman akong pake sa kanila.

"Ayoko na, naiintindihan mo ba ako?! It's over!" I shouted at him at dinuro ko pa siya.

I turned my back against him at nag simula nang humakbang palayo, nang yakapin niya ako mula sa likuran.

Please don't make this hard for me baby

"Mahal na mahal kita eh, bakit mo ako iiwan?" He asked while his face is buried on my neck. I could feel his tears streaming down on his cheeks.

"Bitaw," nanginginig ko ng sabi dahil umiiyak na ako.

He shook his head and tightened his hug, "Ayoko. Parang awa mo na, huwag ngayon. Huwag muna."

I closed my eyes bago ko kalasin ang mga braso niya na nakayakap sa akin, pero masyadong mahigpit ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin.

"Sebastian, get off of me! Get rid of me! Bumitaw ka na!"

"Ayoko! Ayokong bumitaw. Wala sa vocabulary ko nag salitang bitaw pag dating sayo, Lyric!"

Sinubukan ko ulit kalasin ang yakap niya sa akin, at nag tagumpay naman ako. I turned around to look at him. Para akong nanlamig at hindi makagalawa nang makita ko ang itsura niya.

He is looking down, and I could hear him sniffing. Ni hindi nga niya ako tinitignan ngayon habang umiiysk siya.

"Promise me after this you will find someone better, okay?" I tried to smile at hin while caressing his hair.

"Iintayin kitang maging ganap na doktor," dagdag ko pa.

This time, he manage to looked up at me, "Mananatiling ikaw ang mamahalin ko Lyric. Ikaw lang at wala ng iba."

I pursed my lips para hindi ako makalikha ng ingay sa pag iyak ko.

"Intayin mo ako, mahal. Kukunin kita sa kanya, sa kanila. Aangkinin ko kung ano ang akin," with that he angled his face so his lips will touch mine.

"I love you. Intayin mo lang ako," he whispered.