Alone

Xander

I had yet to sleep. I was afraid to sleep. Every time I stopped moving, I thought about Kade. I had spent some time on the boat and came home sometime around two. Then it was on the treadmill and then for a swim. I didn’t want to stop. Stopping meant thinking. The rational side of me knew I had to think at some point.

My legs felt heavy, a sign my adrenaline was wearing off. Any moment, the crash was going to hit. I had gone through something similar when I lost my mom. Her death was expected. I was prepared for it. It sucked and it hurt but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what I knew waited for me. Kade’s death was going to hit hard. It already did, but instead of letting myself feel that pain, I pushed it away.

I could feel it creeping in now. I climbed the stairs, one heavy footstep at a time, as I made my way to the room he had used when he stayed with me. I walked to the dresser where the picture he had left me was still resting.

I picked up the picture, staring at the image of