Kabanata 57

Indie Emerson

Kagabi, naisip ko na sana ay makausap ko ang batang ako. Gusto ko siyang maharap at makausap nang masinsinan kahit ilang minuto lang. Gusto ko kasing tanungin kung masaya na ba siya sa kung ano ako ngayon? Kung may ginhawa na ba sa kanya kasi wala na ang mga gabi ng pag-iyak at pagkukwestiyon sa sarili kung nararapat ba talaga para sa akin na maramdaman ko ang lupit ng mundo. Ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng batang ako kung sasabihin kong kaya ko na ngayon harapin ang realidad?

There are already no days of worrying about something they'd probably say about me, days of thinking how unworthy I am of something. No more looking up into a thousand mirrors, mumbling my imperfections, and hating myself for what I am.

It was not easy, I stumbled, and was so close to stopping because I thought it'd not work. It was so terrifying and compelling at the same time. I have been carrying luggage for a long time and it was so hard to get along in life with those.

Along the way, mas dumami