Chapter 1

The pov

I came back from jogging all sweaty and smelly, I ran to our apartment humming a tune that I created in my mind, weird right?

It's funny because I can't sing to save my life but I have always loved music, it brings life to the depressed me,  I have been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember, but it got worse after my first heartbreak, coming from a middle-class family, you can't go around wasting money paying a therapist, or visiting Doctors for regular check-ups Doctor don't have to diagnose me, the signs are Crystal clear, the lack of interest in life is a huge sign, the failed suicide attempts tick all the boxes of a depressed soul, the suicidal thoughts even after failing to end my life a couple of times.

Music has been there for me it helps me cope with everything that is happening around me, not that I pay attention to the world or anything else, I tend to tune everyone and everything off.

I reached my apartment humming happily, I twisted the door handle, a very sweet waffles aroma welcomed me, I smiled lightly I know who loves me enough to make me breakfast.

I closed the door behind me, I tiptoe to my kitchen, I found a handsome young man holding a cup of coffee, " you know I heard you before you even opened the door? " he turned to face me.

" not fair at all" I pouted which is something, I usually do when I'm disappointed, he looked at me with amusement because of my behavior.

"A hug will be enough to get you waffles" he opened his arms widely for me, did I mention that I'm tall but to him, I looked like I'm The shortest person on planet earth.

" I'm all sweaty and smelly, let me go freshen up first" I didn't wait for his reply I know he will say" I love you with your natural scent mixed with sweat it is enticing" yep he is weird like that.

10  minutes tops I was done freshening up, I went back to the to him, he was sitting on my aged couch, I love that sofa it is my old friend since from first-year I had my first heartbreak there, cried myself to sleep right there, cut my wrist on that couch.

" I don't know if you admiring me, or your favorite sofa" he knows the history of me and the couch, I chuckled and proceeded with my walk to him, I help myself on his lap.

"I miss my daily dose of your natural scent, now you have musked it with your perfume" he snaked his arms around my waist and sniffed my neck.

"One would think you are a werewolf that is if they do exist" I ran my hands on his head his hair feels soft in my hands yet thick,  " I missed you" he buried his head deeper in my neck.

" I missed you too" I kissed him on the shoulder,  I felt his body stiffen a bit before relaxing, he sighed loudly " don't do that, you know what your unexpected kisses do to me" 

I chuckled " cry baby, what can an innocent kiss like that do to you?" I looked at him, he was so conflicted like he wanted to say something also not to tell.

" a penny for what's on your mind" my sentence brought me back from whatever he was daydreaming about.

He smiled sweetly, kissed my forehead, nose, cheeks, and mouth, my heart melt, this man never ceases to amaze me, " I was thinking of how blessed I am, I think I saved the world put it right I saved the universe n my past life, and you are my reward, I'm the definition of Envy' to other men, you are every men's dream girl, lucky me I got you first and no one's gonna take you away from me".

I laughed to hide my already heated cheeks, they are probably tomato red now, " hey mister" I said while poking his cheeks, did I mention that he has little cute dimples when he smiles? No, I don't think I have, well people I hit a jackpot, my man has the cutest set of teeth, accompanied by his little dimples when he smiles my whole world brightens up, yes you heard me right my whole world, not the whole room.

"You flatter me, I'm not all that good you know" yeah if I was that good my first relationship would not have ended badly like it did, not that I'm complaining about it, and yes I can't deny that I was heartbroken I never thought that I would be able to love, trust and be happy like this again, I'm happy it ended.

He pulled me into his arms, tightening his grip as if he knew what I was thinking, and the meaning behind my words, " your imperfections are the reason I fell in love with you, still falling daily, don't know where I will land, but I wish to land in your heart and occupy every corner of it, I know that someday It will happen".

astray tears trickle down my eyes, he kissed my head" there is no rush we have got our whole lives to figure it out, no pressure there okay?" I nodded my head, I felt guilty inside, I felt guilty that even though  I love him I know he loves me more than I can ever love him, I felt guilty because I gave a part of my heart to the same person who caused my depression to deepen, who turned my life a nightmare in daylight, I felt sorry for him because I know how it hurts to love deeper then things do not work out the way you thought they would.

I sniffed " why do you love me and care so much, knowing very well that I cannot reciprocate your feelings?"

" because I know you going through the most, and you love me, I do not mind being your second option, if you decide to pack and leave someday in pursue of your happiness I will gladly let go, your happiness gladdens my heart I won't lie it will hurt bad but I would rather hurt than watch you being unhappy, I love you that much"

I looked at him in his eyes  I felt warm inside,  felt secured and safe, I leaned closer to him our lips met we shared a light kiss, he deepened the kiss I obeyed, our tongue fought for dominance, his worn mine surrendered.

We poured out all our emotions, we did not need word exchange to understand what we felt, we had a racist understanding from the first time we met which is something most couples lack.

After our kiss, his forehead was against mine, I smiled at him and whispered " I love you" his facial expression was, he was shocked he had a hard time concealing it but he gradually did

" always?"

"Yes always" we were lost in our world until the monsters in my belly protested, I felt embarrassed, he laughed at me " oh my you are hungry"

I rolled my eyes " no I'm full" I replied sarcastically, he looked at his wristwatch, I heard him mumble something which I did not understand.

" repeat that"

He looked at me as if he is meeting with the great-great ancestor he averted his gaze " I asked if you do not have morning classes?"

"  What time is it?"

" 20 past 8", my eyes roamed around the sitting room I spotted a calendar my calendar to be specific see a forgetful person so I use a calendar as a reminder hard copy and phone, march 15  Wednesday 2020 I jumped off his lap, running to our room for a change of clothes, " shoot I'll be late I have a presentation at 10, and you are you not going to work today?" I was already at our bedroom door.

" I'm late too" he followed me to our bedroom " but that doe not mean we are going to rush out without eating breakfast, it's already Cold let me go heat it while you get dressed, and I am not taking no an answer".

He evacuated our room, I wore a simple knee-length white summer dress, paired it with brownish wages,  do not usually wear makeup, I let my hair down from the messy bun, grabbed my handbag, and went to the kitchen.

" Tom your boss will be mad at you, you his trusted assistant for Christ's sake, what if you lose your job?" Him

insisting that e have breakfast before leaving is irritating me, we are sure late, " my boss will understand, I have already informed him that I'm running late, eat I will drop you off first".

He gave me one of his rare stern glare, I cannot disobey that look, I ate as fast as  could, I don't want him to get in trouble because of me, I heard that his boss is and does not tolerate nonse,  yet Tom describe him as other normal bosses.

"Slow down the food will choke you"  I eyes internally scolding him, if you didn't force me to eat I wouldn't have to stuff me with food.