Chapter 24: On Tightropes

The Winter Paris Collection competition is around the corner, and I am not prepared for it at all. It is hard to model these days, my energy levels are haywire. I can hardly focus in class, I fell asleep in math class the other day. The doctor says it could be my thyroid hormone levels becoming fuzzier and harder to predict. His words weren’t exactly that, but that was the overlaying message.

It’s scary to be out of control. It’s a hurricane that I am not ready for. It’s been weeks, and I still haven’t decided to fully commit to surgery. It would mean goodbye Model Perfect, and I am not sure I am ready to say goodbye to them just yet.

Arlo is concerned for me and has even put pressure on me to consider my health over my career. It’s a balancing act and I don’t like which way to go. I feel like a tightrope walker, at any moment I could fall in the net below if a decision is not made for me. My life is a balancing act, that I am too exhausted to recover from. I fall in all directions,