The Winter Paris Competition is over and I can finally relax. With Tanya Pennington named the winner, I can finish out the remainder of my Model Perfect contract and be away from the spotlight. All eyes are on Tanya Pennington and her girlfriend, Lucia Perez. Tanya is the first lesbian to become a model girl winner for Model Perfect. All social media platforms are buzzing with the news. As for me, I am glad it's all turning out the way it needs to. Freddie drops me off at my house. The exhaustion from today is written all over my face. "I'm glad you didn't throw the competition. You could have. You almost did. What made you return to my office that day?" "Tanya did. She wanted to win against me fair and square and she did. Now that that's over and done with, what does Model Perfect want from me. The CEO and everyone else on staff knows about my thyroid surgery now. Can I finish out the remainder of my contract?" Freddie smiles from head to toe. He gives me a large nod. "Yes,
Hunter Bates, the lead singer of Aftershock, has been taken into custody. He snuck into Emma Rhodes' house and began choking her. He is being charged with attempted murder. There are other models from Model Perfect coming forward with accusations against Hunter Bates. The police have opened up several investigations into the private life of Hunter Bates, who will soon be facing many years in person. I turn the television off. It's nice to hear the journalists tell the truth for once. For once my story has been turned around for a positive outcome. The part with Hunter Bates in it can end, and I can face the surgery with an open mind. The day Hunter attempted to kill me, his weight was around my neck. Since the moment he grabbed my tumor and started to squeeze, I have desperately wanted to get this tumor out. The pressure he placed against it, burns within my trachea. It's been harder to swallow since then and challenging to talk. I've been avoiding talking since the vibrations in
Hospitals... I've been thinking of nothing else for the past week. Hospitals are covered in many layers of floors with busy nurses, humming janitors, crying babies, and focused doctors. I haven't been in a hospital since the day my grandma parted this world. She left us behind when the lung cancer took her up above to be with my grandpa. I've been watching YouTube videos of thyroid surgeries being performed. The videos aren't helping and have made me even more anxious for my procedure to be over with. Another torture that hospitals bless their patients with is the unknown, I'm expected to starve myself for years prior to my surgery okay more like hours, but still. Then I am expected to call the day before to find out my arrival time just to check into the hospital. The anxiety levels from hearing this and reading this make my nostrils flare. My tension migraines have returned in the temples of my head.Everyone has told me to slow down and take it easy. But that's just not possible f
Today is the day of my surgery. I am not scared anymore because all of them are beside me. They helped me have something to look forward to. We all have a bright future ahead of us. Nurse Waters is right if I get this surgery over and done with I can go on to live the best years of my life. Being starving is not my favorite part. I understand why I need to fast before surgery. But despite their reasoning it still sucks, I could go for some hash browns right about now. Freddie picks me up for surgery. My mother is with us. She has been working a lot lately, but not today. Today I am her little girl getting surgery. She holds my hand the entire car ride and sits with me in the waiting room. They have me fill out paper work and hand Freddie a buzzer like they do at restaurants when your table is ready. The buzzer goes off thirty minutes later. Arlo runs into the waiting room with a bouquet of roses. "I am going back with you. I will never leave you." I kiss Arlo. I smell the roses an
"Emma, why do you always look so fat," Hunter asks while handing me another bikini to try on?I head back into the changing room. The bathing suit I am wearing is the only one I like. It's light blue with palm leaves blanketed throughout its pattern. My hands touch the silky palm leaf fabric and stretch the elastic band near my waistline. Surely, Hunter can't mean this looks bad on me? Can he? I must have heard him wrong. He used to tell me how pretty I was on all of our dates. Pretty is a word that Hunter used to describe all the females in his life. All the ones he thinks are hot anyways. Two years ago, I was 'pretty' to him. Now I am this plump someone. I can't help that my thyroid has gone in another direction. Hunter is the least to give a shit about my thyroid and its toll on my emotions, weight, depression, and the like. To Hunter, I'm now the 'fat girl' he tells me what to wear and how to dress. It's not his most positive character trait, I can assure you. I watch Hunter im
Saturday has arrived, and my beach date along with it. It's not exactly glamorous. Hunter isn't known for being mister romantic. Although I wish he would take me out to a fancy dinner once in a while, is that too much to ask? I put on the bathing suit Hunter likes. I am not a fan of my olive skin clashing with these navy blue planet colors. But if Model Perfect makes it and they want me to look a certain way, then here goes nothing. Rosa Higgins, my best friend, knocks on my bedroom window. "Oh my gosh, girl, that suit is lit. I am so jealous of you. You always look...perfect." Poor Rosa has no idea that being the most popular girl in school sucks. I wish I were invisible then no one except anything from me. But, being the hot topic of gossip comes with a price. My life is not private. Even my journal has its own website on a blog page that Freddie's invented for me. "Rosa, please stop reminding me of how perfect I am. I am not, okay? I am human too." "Okay, sorry, geez. I love y
Rosa Higgins squeals her way into my bedroom window. She's been sneaking into my bedroom window for as long as I can remember. Her parents are abusive, and she needed a place to crash for safety. My parents found out about her sneaking into my room, and now they don't care if or when she comes over. "What are you so happy about? It's a dumb party," I say, recalling Hunter being a dick to that Arlo guy. I wonder if I'll see Arlo so I can apologize. "Why are you so depressed? I thought you were excited to make love on the beach." "We made something on the beach alright. And I can assure you it wasn't love." Rosa sits down on my bed and hands me a lollipop. She's convinced lollipops are a sex symbol. Her funny quirky is to suck them while Jeremiah is watching us. She can be quite the little tease when she wants to be. "A lollipop? Seriously? Did you buy these to suck around Jeremiah tonight? Good grief, woman." "Yeah, so what? He needs to see my tongue in action." Rosa points to h
The fight between Arlo and Hunter bothers me so much. I skip out on Hunter's band auditions. It's easy to blame my absence on a hangover. However, I did drink a little last night. Hunter won't know how much. Why did I have to be such a bitch to Arlo? Why do I care so much anyway? School starts tomorrow. I'd better focus on that—my phone rings. "Emma, I saw the video of Hunter fighting last night. What happened? Are you okay?""Yeah, I'm fine, Freddie. And don't ask me to go to the Aftershock auditions today. I am not feeling well."Freddie, of all people, understands teen parties. He practically encourages me to attend them for fame, followers, and friends. The three 'Fs' I am supposed to care about. Freddie never thinks about the fourth 'F' for fuck. As in, I don't give a fuck today, Freddie. "Okay, I will let Model Perfect know you aren't feeling well. What are we sick with today?" "I'm hungover okay? I want a day off."Freddie sighs into my phone to signal his disappointment in