Rosa Higgins squeals her way into my bedroom window. She's been sneaking into my bedroom window for as long as I can remember. Her parents are abusive, and she needed a place to crash for safety. My parents found out about her sneaking into my room, and now they don't care if or when she comes over.
"What are you so happy about? It's a dumb party," I say, recalling Hunter being a dick to that Arlo guy. I wonder if I'll see Arlo so I can apologize."Why are you so depressed? I thought you were excited to make love on the beach.""We made something on the beach alright. And I can assure you it wasn't love."Rosa sits down on my bed and hands me a lollipop. She's convinced lollipops are a sex symbol. Her funny quirky is to suck them while Jeremiah is watching us. She can be quite the little tease when she wants to be."A lollipop? Seriously? Did you buy these to suck around Jeremiah tonight? Good grief, woman.""Yeah, so what? He needs to see my tongue in action."Rosa points to her red cherry-colored tongue."You might want to clean that off. It's not exactly attractive.""Oh God, my tongue is all red. He will think it's blood when he kisses me."Rosa panics around the room like a bird that has flown into a house."Rosa, get a grip. It's just some food coloring. Here's a new toothbrush. Just go brush your teeth."Rosa grabs the toothbrush from my hand and frantically heads into the bathroom. The sink water sounds like a waterfall. I hope she doesn't flood the bathroom in her panic.My phone beeps from a notification on my I*******m. A username appears in a private message ArloPhotos2000.Arlo: Hey Emma, right? I hope you are doing well.Emma: Umm, hi Arlo. I am fine. I am so sorry about what Hunter said to you. I was so embarrassed.Arlo: Don't be. I am sure he was just looking out for you.Rosa comes back into my bedroom. I don't want her to know about Arlo or why I had a horrible date today.Emma: I need to go. There's a party in Lincoln East if you want to come by tonight.Arlo: Great. See you there.Emma: It's at 7.I deleted my messages to Arlo so Rosa won't see them."Whose messaging you?""A pervert in I*******m is asking me to be his sugar baby.""Those guys seriously need to fuck off. Like anyone is dumb enough to fall for that scam."I put my hand on my chin and think about it."Marianne Porter, she's dumb enough to be a sugar baby. "Rosa laughs and plops herself down on my bed. Apart from me wants to tell her about Arlo and that I invited him to the party. Oh God, I asked him to the party. Why did I do that? That will not look good to my followers. What a nightmare."Marianne? Totally! She would be a sugar baby. She probably is one now. Let's start getting ready for this party. "I agree and will help Rosa find the perfect outfit for the party tonight. Model Perfect has selected my outfit for tonight. It's a little black dress with one strap on the side and all the golden glitter I would ask for. I sometimes want to wear yoga pants and look like a stay-at-home mom with a messy bun.Hours pass, and the party begins. The crowds of teens start piling in around 7:30 p.m. Hunter grabs a microphone as his band, Aftershock, plays in the background."Ladies and gentlemen, this next song is one I wrote for my girl Emma."My heart stops. Did Hunter write a song for me? He isn't a horrible boyfriend. He has his moments."That is so romantic, Emma. You are so lucky."I pull out my phone and Livestream his performance. The likes and comments buzz, and for a moment, I want to put the phone down and enjoy my life without screens—just one brief moment.I turn off the live stream and let Hunter finish his song for me.She's my girl, the girl with the brightest eyes,The reason there's summer fireflies,She's my girl, the beauty of my whole world,She's my girl...The song ends, and I find myself blushing. Then I see Arlo in the distance, and the world goes quiet. But, seeing him in real life again makes me feel panicky, the way Rosa gets for Jeremiah.Arlo walks towards me as Hunter begins another speech, "Ladies and gents, for our final song. But, first, I will sing our newest song, called Tidal Wave."Arlo waits for Hunter to get lost in song before approaching me. Then, he signals me to follow him, and for some reason, I do. I follow him outside to the porch. There's nobody else, just us."You must be some special girl for Hunter to write a song about you like that."Arlo's left dimple appears again on his cheek, and I feel myself trembling a little when he does."Are you okay, Emma?""Yeah, it's just chilly tonight. Thanks for coming.""Why did you invite me tonight anyway? This isn't exactly my kind of crowd.""I wanted to apologize in person for the way Hunter treated you earlier."Arlo smiles. His baby browns find my green eyes. Something about him fascinates me, but I stuff it down because anyone could be recording me or taking a photo, and then it would be over. I can hear it now. Model Perfect's Not So Perfect Model Cheats on Aftershock Lead Guitarist. No thank you headlines."No worries. It wasn't your fault. Well anyways. I need to get going. It's been a long day. I don't think I'm going to stick around for too much longer.""No, wait, umm, why don't you stay, and you can meet my friends.""I don't think that's a good idea, model girl."Did he just call me model girl?"Excuse me?" I ask. For some reason, his comment puts me in a bind."Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just you have a boyfriend, and he's popular. I don't belong here, Emma.""Of course you don't. This party's only for the celebrities—the rich and popular kids. Get out of here, Arlo. Leave me alone. Inviting you was a mistake."I've done a one-eighty on Arlo that I am sure will come to bite me in the butt later. But what am I supposed to do? He's right. We can't be friends. Not that we ever were."I thought you were a nice girl. I guess I was wrong.""Yeah, I guess you were," I snap back. I don't want to push Arlo away because a part of me really likes how we talk and how he smiles. God, that smile, even though I've only known it for today, it takes my breath away.Hunter comes out looking for me."I heard yelling. What the hell is going on? Wait, it's you again. I thought I told you to leave, Emma alone.""Don't worry. I was just leaving." Arlo walks away, and as he turns his back, Hunter kicks him off the porch into the dirt nearby."You aren't going anywhere until I say so," Hunter says with a deep scowl on his brow.Arlo puts his fists up, and the two start going at it. Hunter dodges a right hook from Arlo. Arlo ducks from Hunter's returning punch. Hunter kicks Arlo in the ribs, and Arlo jumps up again. Arlo punches Hunter in the left cheek, and the fight ends. Arlo wins the match."Goodbye, model girl. It's been real."Deep down, I feel horrible. But I act like the victim. The concerned girlfriend is at her boyfriend's side. What am I supposed to do when the cameras are rolling, and my career is in the line? None of this makes sense to me.My eyes meet Rosa's; at least she had a good night. Rosa and Jeremiah are holding hands. I'm glad someone found romance tonight. The only person to blame for this fight is me. I only wish I didn't invite Arlo to this party in the first place."Thanks for fighting for me, Hunter. I also really loved the song you wrote me." I kiss Hunter, and he kissed me back. Even though this relationship is hollow, it's better than being completely alone.The fight between Arlo and Hunter bothers me so much. I skip out on Hunter's band auditions. It's easy to blame my absence on a hangover. However, I did drink a little last night. Hunter won't know how much. Why did I have to be such a bitch to Arlo? Why do I care so much anyway? School starts tomorrow. I'd better focus on that—my phone rings. "Emma, I saw the video of Hunter fighting last night. What happened? Are you okay?""Yeah, I'm fine, Freddie. And don't ask me to go to the Aftershock auditions today. I am not feeling well."Freddie, of all people, understands teen parties. He practically encourages me to attend them for fame, followers, and friends. The three 'Fs' I am supposed to care about. Freddie never thinks about the fourth 'F' for fuck. As in, I don't give a fuck today, Freddie. "Okay, I will let Model Perfect know you aren't feeling well. What are we sick with today?" "I'm hungover okay? I want a day off."Freddie sighs into my phone to signal his disappointment in
The rest of the day is blurry. The fog in my head gets thicker like clouds about to cry. So what is it about Arlo that has distracted my thoughts for most of the day?Arlo finds me in the hallway. He hands me a small piece of torn paper with the numbers 765-3459 written on it. He's given me his cell phone number. "Don't look all surprised. It's for the project. No more parties remember? See you on Wednesday, model girl." "It's Emma," I shout. Rosa comes walking up to me with a face that looks like I'm on fire. "What was that? Who is that loser?" Rosa asks with her head tilted and lips out? "That's Arlo. He is my party for the big English assignment. And he's not a loser. I don't think." I put the note sneakily into my purse. The last thing Rosa needs to know is that I am attracted to Arlo and that I have his cell phone. Apart of me wants to text him later, but it would mean trouble if I did. Is Arlo a secret bad boy? For some reason, that fantasy makes him even hotter. My face st
Wednesday comes and the next photography class is upon us. I think Arlo was just trying to get a rise out of me the other day. I want to start over with him, a fresh clean slate. Mr. Douglass meets us in the basement of the photography room. "How is everyone's projects coming along?" He lowers his glasses and looks at me like he is accusing me of something. Does he know that I almost kissed Arlo? Did the paparazzi follow me? Average people get privacy, but that will never be me.Any accident that can go wrong, is somehow my fault. Anything considered a scandal with my name follows me around like the ghost of Christmas past. That's why I try to be perfect. It's not easy being the 'it' girl of Davis High school. Arlo walks into class, my stomach already hurts. It's in knots because we almost kissed and that's a scandal waiting to happen. If we can keep our relationship professional then maybe we can be just friends after all. We aren't even that yet.The thing about Arlo is he isn't
It's Friday and that means another weekend is almost here. Weekend are when we live. The teenage years come to life on the weekend. The responsibilities of school and homework are left behind in the classroom. The hallways are crammed full of everyone pretending to be something they're not, with me the Queen B pretending to be above it all. But the thing is I have never been above any of them. I hate that think that I am, I'm not. If I was average I wouldn't have my life spoken for me. My life wouldn't be planned. Rosa and me could have a sleep over in tents in the backyard and we could do each other's nails. This weekend, like most of them is filled with Model Perfect photoshoots and parties. After awhile, it feels like my days are on repeat. School, party, photoshoot, rinse and repeat. Not that there's anything wrong with a routine. "Miss Rhodes, you're needed in the principal's office, immediately." A voice from the low speakers says. The onlookers judge me, but I still smile bec
Embarrassed! That's the only word to describe how I am feeling at this moment. My hair is sticky from the fizzy foam of Tanya's spiked lemonade. She's ruined the silver halter dress that Model Perfect had me wear. I know I saw cameras and phones landing on me at that party. My phone beeps and buzzes with the sounds of a thousand judgmental comments. I open it and my cat fight has already gone viral with the title, "Model Perfect's Imperfect Princess Accepts a Modeling Challenge While Getting Baptized by Lemonde." I read a few of the comments. "That bitch deserved a lemonade to her head." "She totally did. She didn't support Hunter or attend open auditions.""That dress would have looked better on Tanya.""Tanya is way hotter. I hope Model Perfect replaces Emma soon." "Hunter, your girlfriend is fat." On and on the comments continue. Their harsh words feel like an arrow to my heart. I am a deer who has been hit by a hunter and will soon face the end of my life or in my case my mod
Arlo takes me home. I am still wearing his clothes, his sweat pants are the most comfortable items of clothing I have been offered to wear in a really long time. Even though they are huge on me, I don't bother taking them off. My silver halter is in a plastic trash bag that Arlo hands me. It still smells like spiked lemonade. Model Perfect will take the damages out of my paycheck for the way Tanya treated this garment. He parks his car in my driveway. I don't want to leave. I want to stay in this moment with Arlo forever. Arlo's fingers are laced around mine, and even though I am technically Hunter's girlfriend I stopped dating him in my head ages ago. It's hard to be with the boy who calls me fat and thinks I am nothing but worthless meat. Hunter's anger gets the better of him, and I am too timid, shy, and scared to tell him off. Arlo isn't like that. I can be me, and be safe. Being with Arlo would be easier than being with Hunter, as far as a real relationship goes. But I am not th
The only choice I have now is to forget Arlo. It's not Arlo's fault the party went haywire and that my followers' list keeps going down in size. Do those thousands of people even know the real me? I'm starting to think no one knows who I am anymore. Rosa wanted to be my friend for fame. Now I am the slutty friend, who is shacking up with the hot camera guy from school. Popularity is like the tide, it pushes and pulls the waves back and forth to shore. The moon forces the tide to rise like my heart makes my emotions boil over. My emotions have been boiling for a while now, festering deep between the pores of my skin. Rosa was the scapegoat I needed. The pressure valve snapped and our friendship right along with it. My thoughts at this moment are to stay away from Rosa and forget we were ever friends in the first place. Perhaps our friendship was merely a facade, desperation on my part for a female friend and popularity seeking on hers. Maybe it was a doomed friendship this whole time
My neck hurts at the biopsy site. It has a heartbeat, that's tender to the touch. I keep the small bandage on it to protect it from accidental bumps. In the morning the sun dances across my blanket like it did the morning prior. I find a smoothie by my bed with a note from my ghost mom. My parents have been working night shifts and have been going on so many business trips lately, I haven't truly seen them in weeks. Now that I am eighteen, they think I am grown-up enough to be on my own. My mother made the smoothie to help with my biopsy recovery. It's tender to talk and the bump in my neck continues to throb throughout the early morning. My phone beeps and Arlo's text message lights up my screen and my face. Arlo: Want to hang out today, model girl? My mom is taking us sailing today. The message reflects Arlo's intentions. It isn't a secret that Arlo wants to hang with me more. A day going sailing sounds better than listening to Aftershock practice their new shitty songs about se