About The Songs
Hello!This is a note about the songs that Alec heard from Andrea.I wanted to put the lyrics so you could feel what Alec felt when he heard those words and really felt them in her voice, felt the pain, the agony, and her emotional struggles. He also felt how much she longs for love, warmth, and safety in other songs too.Putting them within the chapter would have made the chapter cost more just for reading song lyrics and that’s why I decided to put them within an author’s note.If you are really interested to read the words that touched Alec’s heart and made him hate her a little less, carry on reading and tell me what you think of them.Here are the songs:The first song she sang; the one she prepared for her audition, is called go easy on me by Adele.There ain’t no gold in this riverThat I’ve been washin’ my hands in foreverI know there is hope in these watersBut I can’t bring myself to swimWhen I am drowning in this silenceBaby, let me inGo easy on me, babyI was still a childDidn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meI had no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on meThere ain’t no room for things to changeWhen we are both so deeply stuck in our waysYou can’t deny how hard I’ve triedI changed who I was to put you both firstBut now I give upGo easy on me, babyI was still a childDidn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meHad no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on meI had good intentionsAnd the highest hopesBut I know right nowIt probably doesn’t even showGo easy on me, babyI was still a childI didn’t get the chance toFeel the world around meI had no time to chooseWhat I chose to doSo go easy on me**The following songs made his heart ache for her and showed how much she is hurting and struggling to stay strong:-Hurts like hell by FleurieHow can I say this without breakingHow can I say this without taking overHow can I put it down into wordsWhen it's almost too much for my soul aloneI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hellYeah it hurts like hellI don't want them to know the secretsI don't want them to know the way I loved youI don't think they'd understand it, noI don't think they would accept me, noI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hellYeah it hurts like hellDreams fight with machinesInside my head like adversariesCome wrestle me freeClean from the warYour heart fits like a keyInto the lock on the wallI turn it over, I turn it overBut I can't escapeI turn it over, I turn it overI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youI loved and I loved and I lost youAnd it hurts like hell-Cut by PlumbI’m not a strangerNo, I am yoursWith crippled angerAnd tears that still drip soreA fragile flame agedWith miseryAnd when our eyes meetI know you’ll seeI do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I find it whenI am cutI may seem crazyOr painfully shyAnd these scars wouldn’t be so hiddenIf you would just look me in the eyeI feel alone here and cold hereThough I don’t want to dieBut the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills insideI do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I find it whenI am cutPainI am not aloneI am not aloneI’m not a strangerNo, I am yoursWith crippled angerAnd tears that still drip soreBut I do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe inI’m tired of feeling so numbRelief exists I found it whenI was cut-Arcade by Duncan LaurenceA broken heart is all that’s leftI’m still fixing all the cracksLost a couple of pieces whenI carried it, carried it, carried it homeI’m afraid of all I amMy mind feels like a foreign landSilence ringing inside my headPlease, carry me, carry me, carry me homeI’ve spent all of the love I savedWe were always a losing gameSmall-town boy in a big arcadeI got addicted to a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameDo you love me, love me not?Peeling pieces from my heartAnd my rose-colored lens is goneStill I carry, I carry, I carry onOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameI don’t need your games, game overGet me off this rollercoasterOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing gameOh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-ohAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game**This song is what Alec hoped she was singing for him and wished she would someday really sing it and mean it to him despite how impossible it may seem at the moment.Dandelions by Ruth B.Maybe it’s the way you say my nameMaybe it’s the way you play your gameBut it’s so good, I’ve never known anybody like youBut it’s so good, I’ve never dreamed of nobody like youAnd I’ve heard of a love that comes once in a lifetimeAnd I’m pretty sure that you are that love of mine‘Cause I’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeI think that you are the one for meCause it gets so hard to breatheWhen you’re looking at meI’ve never felt so alive and freeWhen you’re looking at meI’ve never felt so happyAnd I’ve heard of a love that comes once in a lifetimeAnd I’m pretty sure that you are that love of mineCause I’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeDandelion into the wind you goWon’t you let my darling know?Dandelion into the wind you goWon’t you let my darling know thatI’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mineAnd I see forever in your eyesI feel okay when I see you smile, smileWishing on dandelions all of the timePraying to God that one day you’ll be mineWishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the timeI’m in a field of dandelionsWishing on every one that you’d be mine, mine<3Mila’s POVI walked inside the vast training room with Ryan and instantly got hit with a wave of nostalgia from the time I used to spend hours in this place training for my future role to be a beta for my pack after my father retires.I was his only child and therefore, it was my legacy to carry on the torch after him. Being a woman doesn’t matter. Even though most betas are males, female betas work twice as hard to prove themselves worthy of that responsibility, and that’s what I was trying hard to achieve before we got attacked.To some point, being captured and overtaken proved I was not so worthy after all, and all those hours spent training didn’t matter as I still lost in the end.But here I am again, training with my beta mate, and if alpha Alec ever accepts his mate and I end up also accepting Ryan as mine, it will be my responsibility to protect her; the Luna, with my life. How can I protect her when I couldn’t even protect myself five years ago?“This time will be different.
Alec’s POVI was still in my office listening to her sing from the old feed I saved earlier. I’ve been listening to those songs for far more than I am comfortable to admit.Her voice was soothing and addictive at the same time. Which is completely unreasonable considering how much of a pain in my ass she is being.My brother Adrian mind linked me while I was too absorbed in one of the songs “Hey Alec. I wanted to check in see how you’re doing with everything” he said gently.I paused the video and pulled out my airpods “Hey…. I am fine to some degree. She is being difficult. Not telling me what I want to know. Trying constantly to get under my skin and hurt me with her words and assumptions to get a reaction out of me, and I’m barely holding myself from giving her what she wants” I said calmly.“Understandable, considering she has some unknown score to settle with you. I’m not even going to ask if you hurt her because I know you would never do that, so I’m curious what your plan is ex
Andrea’s POV He was basically on top of me, restraining me with his body while one of his hands held my wrist tightly and the other wrapped around my neck. We were touching each other everywhere and it didn’t help that I was entirely naked against him. If it was anyone else, I would have done the impossible to get him the fuck off me. I would have killed myself trying to pry his hands off me. But my body, my heart, and even my head betrayed me, betrayed how utterly unafraid I am at him restraining me. My head didn’t go to that dark memory that this exact same position should have triggered. My heart didn’t shiver in fear. My soul didn’t scream in fury at being forced and my bond….. My bond with him showed me how utterly disgusted he feels at the prospect of hurting me with what he was doing. He hated himself with a deepness that truly reached far into my stubbornness and made it stop resisting the obvious. He really didn’t want to do this to me if it wasn’t for me forcing his han
Andrea’s POV I stared at him wide eyed, he took me off guard and I found my eyes automatically looking down at his soft looking lips. Is he talking about what I think it is or am I getting this all wrong? What the fuck is wrong with him? Where does he get the nerve to suggest something like that! I was still breathing hard and the more I inhaled, the more my body relaxed as it got filled with his soothing mint scent, more intense now due to him taking my personal space into the next level. His eyes were also traveling between mine and my lips, up this close, the tension between us was off the charts. Our bodies wanting to eliminate every inch of space between us while our minds fighting against it because of our hatred of each other. “How about… I bite your tongue off so you don’t mention giving me something to think about again?” I bit out tightly. His lips stretched into a smile instantly and I cursed myself for lingering on those lips for more than I should have. “If you tast
Andrea’s POVI remained in my position next to the bars as I waited for him to come to me.I checked my bond with him and registered a lot of anger.I couldn’t point the source of his anger though. Was it because I was hurting myself? Because I was hurting him? Or because I messed up his game of driving me crazy by leaving me alone for a very long time and made him come down here to stop me? I was really curious to know which answer was the real reason.The door slid open and he appeared in front of me. He didn’t pause as he came inside and crouched right in front of me with a very hard look on his face, it made my chest tighten in a little bit of fear.His hand darted in my direction and against my better judgment not to allow him to see me scared, I automatically flinched away, turned my face to the side, and hugged myself tighter, bracing for a pain that is about to be imposed by someone other than me.But the pain I was
Alec’s POV“You should have allowed her to see Mila! You were supposed to be kind remember? How is this kindness exactly?” Maddox complained angrily at me.I was sitting against the headboard of my bed, watching the girl stare with her mouth gaping open at the full fridge in confusion through my phone.“Relax buddy, I have a plan. She will see her, but when the time is right not a moment before” I assured him firmly.To be honest, macaroni and cheese is not really something I would normally eat. But since it is the only thing she knows how to do, I had no choice but to agree to it.“You could have asked her to reheat some of the prepared food” Maddox said thoughtfully, trying to figure me out.“No, if she knows how to make that dish, then she must like it a lot. I wanted her to prepare something she really likes. That way, her chances of eating it would be higher. I need to get some food into h
Andrea’s POV I sat on the chair hesitantly. I didn’t want to eat. I seriously had no appetite and just the thought of putting that single bite I agreed to have in my mouth, had my stomach rolling and tightening viciously. But the deal he presented me with was too good to turn down, he knew exactly how to get me to do what he wanted. Striking that deal sure as hell delighted him even though he tried to hide the victory in his eyes from me. He thinks if I made a deal once, then I am prone to do it again if he presents me with something I cannot turn away from, but he’s wrong. Checking on Mila is the only thing that mattered to me. And if I see her now, there will be nothing left to make me agree to anything else. Even some fresh air outside won’t get me talking to him and revealing what he wants to know. “He will learn the truth eventually, you know. You won’t be able to stay locked in that cell for more than a week before you go crazy Andy, I know you too well. So might as well get
Three Days LaterRyan’s POV“Whenever you are ready, Mila. And again, you don’t have to go through with it today. You can stop at any second if you feel like you can’t take it anymore. It will probably be really painful because of how long it’s been and I don’t want you or Tina to push yourselves too far and put yourselves at risk, please” I said gently to her, My fingers aching to hold her cheeks and comfort her because I could feel how much she is stressed right now. But I have been trying to keep things casual and not freak her out for days now. I don’t want to ruin all my progress with her by doing anything to scare her especially when it comes to touching.We’ve been training everyday for the past three days twice. Once in the morning and another session in the evening; upon her request of course.While I was taken by surprise at the beginning when she revealed that she was to be the future beta o