Chapter 4: Mixed Emotions

The weekend had been exhausting for Anna, who normally found the festival to be a much-needed time to relax. Instead, this year she'd been constantly nervous, looking around for Ethan and dodging all the teasing comments from friends. Kelly had backed off as the weekend went on, hoping that whatever was going on with that new, handsome man in town would be a good thing for her best friend.

Anna had run into Ethan more than once, and it almost seemed like he was looking for her as much as she was looking for him.

'That was all just my imagination,' she thought. 'Of course he would be at a major festival in a new town. He's just trying to meet people.'

The excitement of the weekend hadn't calmed down for the students in her classroom, so Anna was too busy all day to do much daydreaming, and she was grateful. She managed to get her class back into learning mode for the rest of the day, then she spent all afternoon planning out lessons for the rest of the week.

"What a day!" Kelly said as she popped her head into the classroom, noticing Anna busy with her papers. "You're still doing plans?"

"Yes, almost done though," Anna answered.

"Dinner tonight?" Asked Kelly.

"I'm so exhausted. I have some leftovers of stuff I bought at the festival that I think I'll just heat up, then I'm gonna pass out early," answered Anna.

"Okay. Yeah, I'm tired too. But are you sure there's nothing you want to chat about?" As usual, Kelly was very good at reading her friend's mind.

"There is, but I just don't have the energy tonight. Tomorrow?"

"It's a date. John has to work late all this week, so we'll get together for some girl talk," said Kelly.

"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow," Anna called out as Kelly turned to leave.

"See you, girl!"

Alone, Anna sighed and looked out at her empty classroom for a few minutes before she went back to finishing up her work. Finally, she put away her papers, locked the door, and headed out to her car.

She was happy to be home and looked forward to the leftover chili and cornbread waiting for her in her fridge. 'An easy dinner, and a good one, too,' she thought, pulling out the Styrofoam packages and arranging it in a bowl for the microwave. Sammy looked up at her and meowed, and she picked him up to pet him.

"You're not getting this chili, young man. It won first prize!" Suddenly, her doorbell rang. "Well, who could that be ruining my dinner," Anna said to herself.

Standing on her porch was a skinny young delivery boy holding an oversized vase of red roses. "Flower delivery, ma'am."

"For me?" Anna asked.

"Yes, Miss Shelby," said the boy. Every young person in town knew the woman who taught sixth grade at their school.

"Thank you," Anna said, reaching into her pocket to hand the boy a couple of dollar bills.

"Thanks," the boy said, handing her the flowers and turning away.

As she walked back inside, instantly she thought of Ethan. 'But how would he know where I lived?' she thought, instantly answering her own question in her mind, since he could have asked anyone in town for her address.

She opened the card and nearly squealed with delight, thrilled that she was by herself so that she didn't have to hold back her excitement. Sammy looked up at her. "Well, I don't have to hide my feelings around you at least," she said aloud.

The flowers really were from Ethan Greenfield. 'Thanks for sharing a drink. I'd love to get together for dinner so we can talk more. My number is 555-5656, please give me a call. Ethan Greenfield.'

Anna was thrilled that he wanted to go out, but something inside her made her pause. She'd had a rough breakup from her ex-boyfriend Alan, and she was just starting to get to the point where she could go about her day without bad memories. The invitation brought them back to the surface, and she sank into a chair as memories poured into her mind.

"I don't know why you think you could do something like that," Alan had once told her. "That takes a lot of planning and organization and you can't get that done. You're completely disorganized. Everything is a mess here in this house. It's not just petting kittens, you know. It's a business, and you need brains to run a business. You need to think things through before you start having crazy ideas, Anna." Alan had said that to her after she had opened up about her dream of running a shelter for homeless animals. It was just one of the many times where he had insisted that she wasn't good enough or smart enough to do something, and over time, Anna started to believe it.

Eventually, she gave up pursuing any idea that Alan said was crazy and relaxed into a comfortable life teaching school in her tiny hometown. It wasn't that she didn't want to teach. She loved her students and felt like her job was meaningful. She just wanted to add to her life, supplementing it with more things that would make her feel happy and useful. Alan never understood.

It took a couple of years for Anna to finally get up the courage to break it off with Alan. Their relationship had gone through many stages, and at one point, she had been convinced that she should marry him so she could finally have the family she wanted. Time was passing quickly, after all.

But something about Anna accepting his proposal emboldened Alan, and his personality seemed to deteriorate. He started wanting to make all the decisions, always calling Anna crazy for any idea she would tell him about. She finally stopped telling him anything, and soon she felt like a robot, blindly obeying Alan's commands. In the end, Kelly convinced her that it was no way to spend the rest of her life and helped her finally break it off with Alan.

As all these memories flooded back into her mind, tears ran down her cheeks. How could she ever go through all that again? Starting a new relationship could end in just as much heartache if not more, and Anna didn't know if she had the strength.

"Kelly. I've got to talk to Kelly," she said aloud to Sammy, who purred softly in her lap.