Confession In The Quiet Night

As Atlas mentioned, Eva did leave on Friday, and her absence somehow made me feel free. Since she moved in, I haven't left my room without a reason. I used to enjoy strolling through the garden behind the house, but since she arrived, I've mostly stayed locked in my room. Today, Atlas came home early because he had to drop her off at the airport. He asked if I wanted to join them, but I politely declined. I wasn't going to waste my time dropping her off when I could savor every second of my newfound freedom. Besides, I would have been intruding on their moment. It's bad enough that I live with them. I'm sure Eva didn't want me to go either. She didn't ask me to join them—only Atlas did.

I know I’m painting her as the villain in my story, even though she hasn’t done anything to deserve it. She has been nothing but civil to me. It’s me who ignores her. I can’t stand her because she has what I’ve always wanted: Atlas. Knowing that I never stood a chance hurts, and maybe that’s why I harbor such bitter feelings for her. I don't think I can ever like her, and she has nothing to do with it. It's all me—I'm the reason, and I'm the problem.

I also came home early. Dr. Lawson is out of town for a seminar, so I haven't seen him for the last two days. My sessions with him will resume on Monday. The weekend has started, and Jess invited me to her parents' home to help with the party tomorrow. However, knowing Eva was leaving, I decided to come back home instead. If I had been thinking straight, I would have gone to Jess's house, but knowing Atlas would be home alone, I didn’t want to miss the chance to spend some time with him. It's not like we were going to do anything questionable. I was just looking forward to spending time together.

With only a few months left before I leave this house for good, I'm determined to make the most of it. Besides, Jess mentioned Patrick would be there too, and I couldn't bear the thought of being under the same roof as him. I still haven't gotten past the awkwardness of our last interaction. Even at tomorrow's barbecue, I'm planning to avoid him as much as possible.

An hour later, Atlas came home. When he walked in, he found me in the kitchen with the cook and the rest of the helpers. I was in a good mood, and when I'm in a good mood, I gravitate towards the kitchen. I'm a horrible cook—I've always been—but I still enjoy helping out. When I saw the cook preparing dinner, I announced that I wanted to help, so there I was.

It was a hot and humid day, so I was dressed in denim shorts and a loose black t-shirt. My hair was tied up with a claw clip, and I was barefoot, dicing tomatoes. One of the helpers offered to take over, but I declined, wanting to do it myself.

When Atlas saw me in the kitchen, he raised an eyebrow in amazement. “Wow, what’s the occasion?” he asked, amusement in his voice and a smile on his lips. He looked good too, wearing a black collared shirt and grey pants. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that we were matching.

I smiled and shrugged. "No occasion. I'm just in a very good mood today, so I decided to help out," I replied, a lightness in my voice that matched my cheerful demeanor.

Atlas chuckled, glancing at the cook with a playful twinkle in his eye. "Is she helping out or making more of a mess?" he asked, his tone teasing.

"Ha. Ha," I retorted dryly, rolling my eyes dramatically. My faux exasperation only made Atlas and the cook laugh harder. The sound of their amusement filled the kitchen, creating a warm, jovial atmosphere.

I continued to dice the tomatoes, feeling the vibrant energy of the moment. Atlas leaned against the counter, watching me with a smile, his eyes twinkling with affection. It was one of those rare, perfect moments that felt like a snapshot of happiness, and I couldn't help but bask in it.

“What’s for dinner, Miss Tomatoes?” Atlas asked, glancing at my poorly diced tomatoes.

“I’m craving Mexican food, so we’re having tacos. You’re having them too,” I said, pointing my knife at him with a playful grin.

He chuckled and nodded. I knew Eva liked to eat clean, and having known Atlas all my life, I was well aware of his love for hearty food. We rarely had anything indulgent in the house anymore. With Eva gone, I decided Mexican food was the perfect choice for dinner. I knew how much Atlas enjoyed it.

“I’d love some Mexican food, but will you be able to handle the spice?” he asked, eyeing the cook as they prepared enchiladas.

I looked at him, a smile spreading across my face. “So, you remember I don’t like spicy food?” I asked.

He laughed. “Who wouldn’t? Remember how much you used to cry even if you accidentally ate a bit of pepper?”

I laughed along with him. It was true. My spice tolerance was pretty low, unlike his. Atlas loved spicy food, while I wasn’t a fan. On the other hand, I had a sweet tooth, and he wasn’t very fond of sweets. Our contrasting tastes often made for amusing dinner conversations.

Our conversation in the kitchen ended as Atlas went to his room to freshen up, and I resumed helping the cooks, although my contribution was minimal. I was more of a watcher than a helper, only stirring and chopping occasionally. When dinner was finally ready, Atlas was called downstairs. He descended in a white T-shirt, a refreshing change from his usual collared shirts and pants. It was nice to see him in something more casual and relaxed.

We took our usual seats at the table. As dinner was served, I noticed a glint of excitement in Atlas’s eyes, and my heart swelled at the sight. He dove into his food with gusto, taking a bite of the tacos and moaning in delight. "Oh, this is heaven," he muttered, chewing happily.

I pressed my lips together, trying to hide my smile. His enjoyment was infectious, and though I felt a bit inappropriate for being affected by the sounds he made, I couldn’t help but be pleased. I took a deep breath and focused on my own dinner, trying to ignore the fluttering in my stomach.

I had asked the cook to make a few tacos less spicy for me, and they were absolutely delicious. I couldn't help but softly moan in delight as I took a bite. Atlas shot me a look, and our eyes met. After a few seconds, we both broke into laughter, the shared moment of enjoyment adding a warm, lighthearted touch to the evening. For the next half an hour, dinner continued with easy conversation and laughter, the casual atmosphere making everything feel just right. For a brief while, it was as if nothing else mattered but the food and the company.

“I must confess,” Atlas said, laughing as he wiped the corner of his mouth. He paused, chewing and swallowing the morsel before continuing, “I've been visiting a few drive-throughs on my way home these past few weeks.” His confession made my eyes widen before I burst into laughter. He laughed too, shrugging as he added, “What can I say? Eva is so keen on clean eating. I respect her approach to a healthy lifestyle, but work stress makes me crave greasy, artery-clogging food.”

I chuckled softly. “She doesn’t let you have junk food? Not even once a week?” I asked, surprised at how much influence Eva had over Atlas. He didn’t seem like a man who took orders from anyone.

He sighed, chewing thoughtfully before nodding slowly. “Well, I don’t need anyone’s permission. She doesn’t dictate to me, but she asks me to eat healthier with her. She truly cares for my health,” he said, a soft smile spreading across his face as he spoke about Eva, twisting my heart. I felt a lump in my throat, hating how affectionately he was speaking of her. “And I love her for that. She’s amazing, but I am a man of junk food. I often slip,” he added guiltily, biting his tongue.

I forced a chuckle. “Does she know?”

He wrinkled his nose, chuckling softly. “I’ve never told her, but I think she knows.”

After dinner, Atlas went into his study to work, and I decided to take advantage of Eva’s absence by taking a stroll in the garden. It was already dark, and the backyard was very quiet and still. The cook and the rest of the house staff had gone home, leaving just Atlas and me. When he retreated to his study, I came out here.

The weather was humid and hot, even for nighttime. I looked up at the sky and saw a hint of orange, indicating that rain might come later, as predicted. I hoped the rain would come tonight rather than tomorrow, so Jess’s barbecue plan wouldn’t be ruined.

As I aimlessly strolled around the garden, I heard footsteps approaching. Turning around, I saw Atlas walking in with a lit cigarette between his fingers. When he lifted his gaze and saw me, he looked taken aback. He quickly hid his hand behind him, trying to conceal the cigarette, but it was too late—I had already seen it.

Realizing there was no point in hiding it, he sighed and brought the cigarette to his lips, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I just needed to smoke,” he muttered, walking closer to the pool and sitting beside it.

I followed him, standing nearby as he took a drag and exhaled slowly. “You don’t have to apologize,” I said softly. “I know you smoke occasionally.”

He glanced at me, a wry smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, but I don’t want to be a bad influence.”

I smiled back, feeling a strange mix of emotions. “Don’t worry about it. Everyone has their vices.”

Atlas nodded, taking another drag from his cigarette, the tip glowing brightly in the dim light. We stood there in comfortable silence, the humid air thick with the promise of rain, and for a moment, everything felt perfectly still.

Atlas broke the silence after a few minutes. “Eva hates it when I smoke,” he confessed softly. I hummed in acknowledgment and walked closer to him, then sat on the lounge chair beside him. He took another drag, and I watched intently as he tilted his head back and released the smoke. My eyes traveled from his chiseled jaw to his parted lips and finally to his arched neck. I gulped as goosebumps spread up and down my body. I blinked, forgetting how to breathe for a moment.

I let out a shaky breath as he turned to look at me. He slowly blinked. “I promised her I wouldn’t smoke again, but...” he trailed off, shaking his head in disappointment as he stared at the still water in the pool. “I want to stop too, but here I am,” he sighed, lowering his head.

It took me a few seconds to gather myself enough to speak. I had to clear my throat before I managed to say, “It’s okay. You can’t get rid of a habit all at once. You can’t change everything abruptly,” I stated softly. Our voices were low as if we were sharing a secret, even though we were the only two there.

He turned to look at me, his eyes lingering on mine for a few seconds before a small smile appeared on his lips. He gently nodded. “I know. That’s what I said to her, but she didn’t understand,” he replied softly with a half-hearted shrug.

I could see the struggle in his eyes, the conflict between wanting to keep his promise to Eva and battling his own habits. I reached out and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “Change takes time, Atlas. It’s okay if she doesn’t understand right now,” I said softly, glancing at the burning cigarette between his fingers. “I won’t tell her or anyone that you smoked, but promise me you won’t have more than one tonight. This one is enough.”

He looked at my hand and then back at me, his smile growing slightly warmer. “Thank you,” he murmured. The tension seemed to ease a bit, the humid night air wrapping around us as we sat together, sharing a quiet moment by the pool.

There was silence once again, broken only by the chirping of crickets hidden somewhere in the bushes. Atlas looked at me and smiled. “So,” he said, catching my attention, “Are you excited about tomorrow?” he asked.

I smiled back and nodded eagerly. “Yes, I am. It will be fun. Are you coming too?” I asked, hoping he would join us.

He chuckled softly and shrugged. “Thank you for the invite, but I’m not sure yet. I have a few pending tasks to finish. If I manage to wrap them up in time, I might drop by,” he replied casually.

A sudden wave of disappointment washed over me. I knew deep down that his presence might not be a good idea, but I couldn’t help feeling excited at the prospect of seeing him. The anticipation had been building up all day, knowing Atlas might be there too. Yet, underneath the excitement, there was also a nervousness, a realization that asking him to join us was not entirely right. Despite knowing it might be for the best if he didn’t come, I couldn’t shake off the disappointment. I sighed inwardly, feeling hopeless. How would I ever move on from him if I couldn’t even manage my own emotions?

I nodded nonetheless. “Okay,” I replied quietly.

Silence settled again, brief this time as Atlas spoke up once more. “So, Jess’s brother will be there, huh?” he said. I turned to look at him, surprised that he had brought up Patrick. We had never discussed my love life before, and his mention caught me off guard. I hesitantly nodded, my mind drifting to thoughts of Patrick. My cheeks warmed as I recalled the night we had spent together. Facing him again would be awkward, to say the least.

I gulped, quickly averting my gaze. “Yes,” I muttered.

Atlas narrowed his eyes slightly, tilting his head. “You don’t want to see him?” he asked, making me meet his gaze. I was genuinely surprised by how open and conversational he was tonight.

Blinking a few times, unsure of how much to reveal, I decided to sigh and be honest. “Honestly? No,” I admitted, shaking my head.

He furrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully. “I see. It’s always tough seeing an ex,” he commented knowingly.

I debated internally whether to say more, but feeling a strange urge to confide in him, I nervously chewed on my lip and continued. “It’s not just that. Patrick and I... we stayed friends after we broke up,” I explained, keeping my eyes lowered as I nervously picked at my nails. “But, umm, the last time I saw him...” I trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

After a brief pause, Atlas prompted, “What happened?”

I took a deep breath and dared to look up at him, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “We... umm, I... Oh God,” I nervously chuckled, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety as I confessed, “The last time I saw him, we slept together,” I admitted, surprising Atlas with my candid revelation.