Midnight Thirst

Atlas was unusually talkative tonight. I had never seen him so animated and full of energy. It almost seemed like he was making an effort for Eva and me to get along, though let's be real, there wasn't much about her I didn't like aside from the fact that she now shared a home with the man I love so desperately. Eva appeared genuinely pleasant, and that annoyed me. I wanted so badly to find fault with her, but she gave me no reason to.

When I first descended the stairs, she greeted me with a soft smile. Even when I apologized for missing her moving-in yesterday, she brushed it off with a wave of her hand and a chuckle, "No worries at all. I understand life gets busy, and besides, I wouldn't expect anyone to drop everything for me. We all have our lives, so don't fret. It's a pleasure to meet you," she said graciously.

Seeing the proud and affectionate look on Atlas's face whenever he looked at her only fueled my resentment. Inside, I seethed at the sight of them together. My heart burned to witness his random displays of affection towards her – the touches, the kisses, the attentive care he showered upon her. Pretending to like her was excruciatingly difficult, but I forced myself to do it, all for the sake of Atlas's happiness.

During dinner, it was as if I had disappeared—at least, to Atlas. When the meal was served, he poured wine for Eva and ensured she was eating properly, his attention fully on her. Meanwhile, I sat quietly beside him, pushing my food around on my plate. Not once did he ask why I wasn’t eating. Though I had a few weeks left before turning twenty-one, he didn’t offer me wine or even water. I was left to help myself, while he remained engrossed in caring for Eva.

As we reached the main course, Atlas finally turned to me, but only to boast about Eva's accomplishments. "Eva is the head of risk management at the firm we partner with. Almost a year and a half ago, when I first met Eva, we were in a tight spot with some risky investments. Her forecasts really saved us. I fell for her then and there. She’s a genius!" He recounted the story with pride shining in his eyes.

I forced a smile and looked at Eva. "Wow, you’re amazing," I said with a feigned chuckle, even though all I wanted to do was cry.

Eva chuckled shyly, "Oh, don’t listen to him. I’m just an ordinary risk manager. He’s the one who truly deserves the praise. With the way he’s leading the company, it won’t be long before it becomes a trillion-dollar enterprise. His tactics are admirable. I love how he leads with a fresh perspective, eager to shed old traditions," she gushed, clearly in awe of him.

I forced a smile, glancing at Atlas, who was smiling and shaking his head modestly. While they showered each other with compliments, I pretended to be interested, masking my true feelings. Inside, all I wanted to do was gag and walk away. I couldn't wait for this night to end.

“So, Harper, what do you do?” Eva asked, cutting a piece of chicken with a precise movement.

I shrugged, feeling drained. “I’m studying psychology. As for a job, I’m still looking,” I replied politely but briefly. I let out an awkward chuckle, adding, “I’m no genius like you two. I’m not into anything complicated.” My comment earned playful chuckles from both of them.

“Don’t listen to her,” Atlas said to Eva, glancing at me with a grin. “She’s very creative and observant. I think she should aim for forensic psychology. Her attention to detail would be a real asset in the field.” It was the first time Atlas mentioned me all night, but the moment was fleeting. Soon, he and Eva were engrossed in another conversation, leaving me to sit quietly and barely touch my food.

Dinner dreadfully passed and I was ready to call it a night, but for the two lovebirds, the night was still young. The mere sight of them together was enough to unsettle me, a constant reminder of the stark contrast between Atlas's demeanor with me and with Eva. Witnessing his genuine smiles and affectionate gestures towards her stirred an unsettling mix of envy and resignation within me. With Eva, Atlas displayed a tenderness and intimacy that I had longed for, a romantic softness that seemed reserved exclusively for her. His gentle touches, the way he tucked her hair behind her ear, the tender kisses—they all spoke volumes of their connection.

In contrast, my interactions with Atlas felt distinctly different. While he was undeniably caring towards me, his affection took on a more paternalistic tone, akin to a protective guardian rather than a romantic partner. Though I cherished his nurturing demeanor, a part of me yearned for something more—a depth of connection that I feared would forever elude me.

It was a bittersweet realization, coming to terms with the inherent limitations of our relationship. While I cherished Atlas's presence in my life, I couldn't shake the lingering sense of longing for a deeper, more profound connection that I knew would forever remain unattainable.

“It’s very nice to finally meet you, Eva. I’m glad we could connect,” I lied, my smile barely masking my true feelings. “But I need to call it a night. I have a test on Monday that I need to study for, and I want to get to bed early. I’m meeting some friends for breakfast tomorrow.”

At least that part was true. I was genuinely looking forward to spending the day with Jess, far away from these two lovebirds. Eva beamed and pulled me into a hug. “It was great meeting you too, Harper.”

I stiffly returned the embrace, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Physical touch wasn’t something I enjoyed, and I could sense Atlas watching us closely. I knew I had to play the part—if I didn’t act polite and friendly with Eva, Atlas would surely notice my reluctance and question me about it later. Forcing a smile, I wished them both a goodnight before retreating to my room.

As soon as the door closed behind me, the tears began to fall. I collapsed onto my bed, unable to hold back the flood of emotions. Seeing them together was like a knife to the heart, and the urge to tear them apart scared me with its intensity. The thought of having to get out of bed was unbearable, but the prospect of dressing up to meet her filled me with a sense of dread. Reluctantly, I dragged myself out from beneath the covers, moving with a sluggishness that mirrored the weight of my emotions.

I made quick work of changing into a simple ensemble of cotton shorts and a tank top after my shower, eager to shed the facade of normalcy that seemed increasingly out of reach. The tears I had held back in the privacy of the shower now threatened to resurface as I crawled back into bed, seeking solace in the familiar embrace of darkness and solitude.

 I felt drained and emotionally raw. All I wanted was to hide away and escape the reality that awaited me. I cried until exhaustion took over, eventually falling into a restless sleep, the ache of unfulfilled longing still lingering in my chest.

Sometime in the dead of night, a pang of thirst and gnawing hunger roused me from my fitful slumber. Bleary-eyed, I fumbled for my phone to check the time—three in the morning, far too early to be awake. I reached for the water bottle beside my bed, only to find it empty, a bitter reminder of my neglect to properly nourish myself at dinner.

With a frustrated click of my tongue, I attempted to drift back into sleep, but the persistent ache in my throat refused to relent. Annoyance mounting, I begrudgingly abandoned the warmth of my bed and padded across the floor, my attire—revealing shorts and a top with no bra beneath—scarcely appropriate for a nocturnal excursion. Yet, the urgency of my thirst outweighed any concern for modesty as I hurried downstairs to the deserted kitchen.

A faint glow emanated from a lone light in the otherwise dim kitchen, casting eerie shadows against the walls. The silence enveloped me like a heavy blanket, broken only by the soft shuffle of my own footsteps echoing through the empty house.

I retrieved a chilled water bottle from the fridge and poured its icy contents into a glass. Cold water has always been my preference, there's something about its crispness that quenches my thirst like nothing else. As the first sip trickled down my throat, followed by another, I couldn't resist the urge to gulp down the entire glass in one go. The icy cascade provided instant relief to the discomfort lingering in my parched throat.

Exhaling a sigh of satisfaction, I was abruptly jolted from my reverie by a voice that pierced through the silence of the kitchen. "One of these days you're going to give yourself a sore throat from drinking such cold water," the voice admonished, sending a shiver down my spine. Startled, I turned to find Atlas leaning casually against the counter, his arms folded across his broad chest. His amused expression only added to my surprise at his sudden appearance.

My gaze absorbed every detail of his attire: a simple white t-shirt paired with knee-length black shorts. His hair was tousled, and his eyes held a hint of fatigue, suggesting he had just awoken. However, my attention was drawn to his neck, where a faded hickey with a faint blush lingered. I refused to entertain thoughts about how he had acquired it with Eva.

Clearing my throat, I furrowed my eyebrows and addressed him. "Firstly, you scared me. Never do that again. I could have choked on water," I chided, eliciting a soft chuckle from him. "And secondly, cold water can exacerbate a cold or respiratory infection. It can't give me a sore throat, Atlas. You should know better," I asserted matter-of-factly, prompting yet another amused chuckle from him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice barely concealing my surprise.

He exhaled and stepped further into the kitchen. I noticed he was barefoot, just like me.

Opening the fridge, he rummaged through its contents. “I’m hungry,” he said, glancing at me with a soft smile. The light from the fridge illuminated his features, and I couldn’t help but stare. Freshly out of bed, he looked even more handsome. My heart ached, knowing I could never have him to myself. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I met his gaze.

“I was thinking about heating some leftovers. Would you like some?” he asked, pulling a Tupperware container from the fridge.

I chuckled faintly. “I’m hungry too, but I’m not eating this late. You shouldn’t either.”

He smiled, placing the Tupperware in the microwave. “I can’t sleep because I’m hungry,” he replied.

I nodded, placing the water bottle back in the fridge. “Well, I can,” I said, moving past him. “Good night.”

Just as I was about to leave, he called my name. “Harper.”

I stopped and turned to face him. He sighed, “I want to apologize to you.” My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He continued, “I was too harsh on you the other day. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was wrong, Harper. You’re not selfish. I’m an idiot for saying things that aren’t true.” His voice was gentle and sincere.

I let out a bitter chuckle, the sting of his words still echoing in my mind like a fresh wound to my heart. But this pain was all too familiar now, a constant ache I had grown accustomed to in his presence. "You were not wrong, Atlas. I am selfish," I admitted with a wry smile, the bitterness of self-awareness lingering on my tongue. "It's just... I haven't really shown you my true selfishness yet," I added, the weight of my words heavy in the air between us.

His furrowed brows betrayed his confusion, but I couldn't help but find a grim amusement in it. Another bitter chuckle escaped my lips as I watched his puzzled expression deepen. "Your girlfriend is very cute, Atlas," I remarked, deliberately bringing Eva into the conversation, further perplexing him with my sudden shift in topic. With a strained smile, I turned away, leaving him to grapple with my cryptic words as I retreated back to the solace of my room.

As I walked away, I felt his eyes on me, heavy with unspoken questions, but I didn't look back. The ache in my chest deepened with each step, but I knew I had to keep moving forward.