43- Monotones and makeup

I- I cut off my own thought. This is not helpful right now. I take a deep breath and calm myself. I might even be almost relaxed when Bellamy finally finds me. Okay, that's not true. I'm completely freaking out. But I manage to hide it. Bellamy comes and sits on the seat beside me. He places my shoes on the ground by my feet and I slip them on. The silence is deafening until Bellamy finally manages to speak. His voice is quiet and almost completely void of expression, as is his face.

“Are you mad at me again?” He asks. I shake my head. I don't know what I expected him to say but it wasn't that.

“No.” He watches my face attentively.

“But?” He waits for my reply. I stand up and move to look at a small water feature built into the wall. I keep my back to him.

“But I can't do this right now.” I tell him. I keep my voice calm, but it's forced. I hear Bellamy stand and take a few steps until he's next to me. I don't turn to look at him.

“What do you want?” His voice is a dull monotone.

“I