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WORTH KEEPING-CHAPTER 51: MAGGIE
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 52: AUSTIN
Her blue eyes were focused on the words on the page in front of her like they always are. I had never known anyone to spend as much time with their nose between the pages of a book as Maggie did. Everywhere she went she had one – in her bag, in her lap, next to her.No one else noticed. And no one else noticed the fact I did.Her brow furrowed, and she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she swept her long blonde hair from her face. She gathered it at the back of her head and snapped a band from her wrist, tying it up and exposing the sleek curve of her neck and the skin there. I spinned my pen between my fingers and glanced at my own book.Off limits. That was what Maggie Hope was.I knew the first time I saw her I could never have her. The way she held herself and the sarcastic yet polite comments – she had endless amounts of “screams rich girl”, a class I never had and never will be in. It was engrained in her to treat everyone with respect no matter what you think of them. I w
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 53: MAGGIE
I wanted to be the girl going upstairs with him instead of the one watching him go.He drove me crazy in the worst kind of way. Every comment, every smirk, every cocky raise of his eyebrows. Each thing affected me, especially the way he clearly didn’t know me even though he thought he did. He was so wrong about me in every way, and it pissed me off so badly, yet I didn’t think I could say no if he walked up to me right now and invited me to his room.The one not fit for a little rich girl like me.The one I’d probably feel totally at home with.But I didn’t know if one night would be enough. When you want someone so badly you have to work to hide it, just one night of letting go of that restraint wouldn’t be enough. If he came up to me now and I let go, I don’t think I’d be able to hold on again. I don’t think I’d be able to leave it at one night of casual sex.Hell. I didn’t know if sex with him would be casual.I knew one night can’t hurt, but I also knew it can’t do any good.“Sex
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 54: AUSTIN
I was fucked. And it was all my own fault.I had to do it, didn’t I? I had to go over to her and say what I did. I didn’t expect her to do it – I never thought she’d actually come upstairs, but she did. And shit; it felt so wrong but so right at the same time.She was so dangerous. She was the one in this whole damn college, hell, in the whole damn state, that could strip away my devil-may-care attitude and put me on my sorry ass. She was the only girl that could make me feel again. She could take everything I’ve tried for so long to stick back together and shatter it into more pieces than it was in in the first place.I should have stayed the fuck away from her, but I didn’t. And now I know the sweet taste of her mouth as she kissed me. I know the softness of her lips as they moved across mine, and I know the feel of her hands gripping my hair.I also knew what it was like to be so close but so far away. ‘Cause damn it all to hell, she had to stop and walk away, didn’t she? She had t
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 55: MAGGIE
My eyes scaned the room, and I sighed in relief when I saw I had beaten both Austin and Jack to class. Every part of me wished it was a day where we didn’t share a class, but it just doesn’t work that way. This is real life, and as my Nanna always said, real life likes to kick you when you’re down.I sat down at my desk and remembered who sat with me. Shit. I dropped my head, resting it on the table.“Crap,” I muttered.The chair next to me squeaked. “If you’re trying to hide, babe, then you’re doing a shit job. I can see you.” Austin’s words curved around me, wrapping me in a smooth caress, and my throat went dry.“Why would I be hiding?” I sat up and forward, determined not to meet his eyes.He shrugged a shoulder carelessly, grabbing his pen and twirling it between his fingers. God – I hated it when he did that. I caught his every movement from the corner of my eye. His eyes were burning in the side of my head, begging me to turn, begging to look at him.“Because you want me so bad
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 56: AUSTIN
I glared at Jack. “For the tenth fucking time, I did not sleep with Maggie this weekend.” But not for a lack of damn well trying.Jack folded his arms across his chest. “She seemed more pissed at you than usual in class.”I shrugged a careless shoulder. “Probably because I pissed her off more than normal on Saturday night.”Josh grinned. “She did look like she wanted to wring your balls after you spoke to her at the bar.”“Yeah well, even if she did wring them, I wouldn’t have been hard pressed to find someone to kiss them better afterwards, would I?”“Shit, man.” Jack shook his head and sat down. “Was I really this much of a fucking asshole before Sandra?”Josh threw his cell in the air and caught it. “Yep.”“Difference with me and you, dude,” I said, “is that I can admit I’m an asshole. You thought you were fuckin’ Jesus or somethin’.”“That’s because I am – behind closed doors.” He grinned like the smug bastard he was. “At least you didn’t try it with Maggie.”“I don’t know why you
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 57: MAGGIE
“He really is an asshole,” Kayle said, spying Austin across the yard.He was standing in front of a girl with more highlights than my e-reader, and she was doing her best to push up her chest into his face. He smiled slowly at her, resting his arm against the tree next to him. She twirled some hair around her finger, attempting what she thought was a demure smile, and looked into his eyes.“I see he took the conversation we had two days ago to heart,” Leila remarked.“What conversation was that?” Sandra asked.“I told him he needed to find a nice girl.”“You obviously have different definitions of the word ‘nice’,” I said, harsher than I meant to. “Because the only thing nice about her will be when she turns around and leaves.”Kayle snorted. “I freaking love it when you guys get jealous.”My head snapped round. “Who said I was jealous?”“You’re so green you’re practically blending in with the grass.”“Right. Because being jealous of anyone with Austin is so likely.”Yet I was jealous
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 58: AUSTIN
Time went too fast. Too fucking fast.Since I kissed Maggie, I had slowly retreated into my own mind. Every day brought a fresh set of memories, slicing open a fresh set of scars. Every day cut open a new wound that bled for hours. Every set of memories started a fresh onslaught of cuts inside my mind that would never heal. Each one had its own shape, it was own meaning, it was own pain.Each one was a reminder of why I couldn’t give Maggie what she deserved. Each one was a reminder why I should have stayed away from her in the first place and why I should now.Broken. Shattered. Mismatched.They were the first three words I thought of when I had to describe myself. They sprung to mind instantly.Useless. Worthless. Nothing.They were the next three. The words that were drummed into my mind so many times, by so many voices, for so long. They were the words that crept under your skin, worm their way into you and never left.A good word can linger with you for a few fleeting moments whi
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 59: MAGGIE
My bed smelled like him, and I was being a total teenage girl by snuggling under the covers instead of getting up. It was a spicy scent that was so out of place in California, but so right for him.I felt a little like Juliet right now, secretly in love and holding onto it desperately. Of course that was probably much more suitable for a thirteen year old to do than me, but I’ll take it because it was all I had.The idea of telling Jack crossed my mind. Why not? That was the decent thing to do – the right thing to do. I should just tell him and get it over with. He’ll probably ignore me for a few days and okay, punch Austin, but surely that would be easier than pretending?No, it wouldn’t. Telling him would mean admitting that both of us lied about last weekend – kind of. A lie of omission. Telling him would just cause unnecessary pain for all of us. It would tear Jack up and it would tear Austin and me apart before we’d even been together.But were we even together? I had no idea. No
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