MagnoliaIt’s easy succumbing to the darkness that comes with my grief. I’m struggling to push past this. I don’t know what to do with my life. I turn 18 soon and will be receiving my wolf, but I don’t want to. I don’t have my mate, my best friend, I don’t know what to do with my life.I was always so sure of what I wanted, but now I have no idea. I don’t want to be a part of this pack anymore, not without him. It would shatter my parent’s hearts to hear that I feel this way, but I can’t help it. This is how I feel. I walk out of my room to look for Violet and when I can’t find her I try to find him, but neither one are here. My eyebrows furrow as I continue to walk around the pack house, doing the best I can to avoid the main foyer. I know that’s one of my trigger areas so I’ll do what I need to to avoid it. I walk over to my dad’s office and I was surprised to see that he had his door wide open. My mom saw me first and her eyes immediately brightened as she says, “Magnolia, come o
VioletI fall to my knees in front of Magnolia. She’s having a panic attack, I know these all too well, unfortunately. I gently touch her face and then pull her head up to look at me. She keeps trying to resist and her eyes meet mine, wide and panicked.I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug as I say in as soothing of a voice that I can muster, “It’s okay, Magnolia. You’re not alone. I’m here. Just breathe, in and out. It will pass. Just focus on your breaths.”It takes awhile for her to follow my lead, but eventually she does, but her body continues to convulse from her sobs. As I guide her through her panic I can’t help but be aware of everyone around us that are frozen as they watch us. Finally, Magnolia’s shoulders release the tension she was carrying. Magnolia’s voice breaks and in between sobs she tells me, “I’m sorry. I’m-I’m s-so sorry.”I move my finger through her hair, brushing it behind her ear and I tell her, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”My eyes flicker
VioletI swear Charlie and Magnolia want to just spend their night sobbing their eyes out. I never thought that a kid’s movie could make someone cry as much as it made the two of them cry.After that movie then Magnolia picked some teen romance movie about stars or something. I don’t know, it’s hard to pay attention to what’s going on when my mind is so focused on what’s to come. After that movie then Charlie picked another one. Each movie seems to make them sob worse than the other.It’s at least 3 in the morning now and I finally dismiss myself so that I can go to bed. Only the moment I go to my room I am filled with an urgent need to see Phoenix.It’s not a want, it’s a need. It scares me how much this need
VioletI left Phoenix shortly after he rejected me. He’s right, we have an agreement. But it doesn’t stop the ache in my heart. It doesn’t stop my wolf, Selene, from crying in the back of my mind. Mourning the fact that the moon goddess destined us to be with someone so broken, someone that’s cursed, someone that will never accept us.I try to convince her that it’s for the best. But my words fall on deaf ears, she doesn’t want to hear me.I climb back into my room and my eyes widen when I see Magnolia sitting on my bed reading a book. Her jade green eyes meet mine, she raises one eyebrow as she looks at me and tilts her head to the side as she asks, “Where the hell have you been?”I take slow breathes, trying to calm my racing heart and I evade her question, “What are you doing in my room at this time?”Out of anyone that would uncover the fact I’ve been sneaking out regularly, I never guessed that it would be Magnolia. She shrugs her shoulders as she answers me, “Charlie fell asleep
VioletMy heart is still racing as I lie in bed beside Magnolia. I can’t believe that I got caught especially by her!I should’ve known that tonight would be different because of her meltdown and how late we stayed up. I’m grateful that she didn’t ask too many questions and that I’m able to keep Phoenix’s identity a secret.After a few minutes, I almost jump when she speaks. I thought she had fallen asleep. She says softly, “I don’t want to be the next Alpha anymore.”My eyebrows raise in surprise and I use my hand to prop my head up as I ask, “What are you talking about?”She breathes out and rolls on her back looking up to the ceiling as she says, “I’m about to turn 18. I’ll shift and shortly after I’m supposed to take the Alpha position. That’s been the plan for as long as I can remember, Vi. But… that’s supposed to happen in 8 days and I don’t know how I’m supposed to lead a pack when I can’t even walk through the main foyer of the house without having a panic attack.”She takes a
VioletI forgot that Magnolia stayed in my room last night.When I wake up she is pacing around my room and I look at her curiously. She seems less tense than she was last night which is a good thing. She doesn’t seem as sad, instead she seems nervous and I think that’s because she wants to talk to her parents soon. She’s told me that it’s good being around me and a small part of me wonders if somehow my abilities as the white wolf is helping heal Magnolia. Like maybe I’m subconsciously healing her broken heart. I don’t know if that’s even a possibility though.To be honest, there’s still a lot I don’t know about being the white wolf. I think that both the white wolf and guardian wolf are much stronger than we think. White wolves don’t normally live long lives because of other people’s greed wanting to harvest our power for their own wants and needs. Because of this, there hasn’t ever been enough time to learn anything other than the what’s on the surface.Magnolia looks over at me,
VioletThe days move quickly.Magnolia’s been doing better. She’s getting out of her room more, she’s training with me for a little bit every day, and she and Charlie are trying to finalize our plans for our trip. Charlie and I still haven’t decided what to tell her and also agreed that actually going somewhere and having a couple of days off isn’t a bad idea.Now that Magnolia knows about me meeting my mate, she helps cover for me at night. It’s nice, I’m now able to leave by midnight at the latest and I’m normally home by 3 so I’m still able to sleep for a little bit.I enjoy being around Phoenix, I enjoy it a lot more than I care to admit. Our personalities seem to just mesh well together and I’m quickly considering him one of my closest friends. We sit by each other in complete silence, just enjoying the sound of nature surrounding us. I can feel the tension in my body release as I lean back and tilt my face toward the sky, my eyes closed as I bask in the moon’s glow. I can feel
PhoenixWe shouldn’t do this. I know that we shouldn’t. But, she’s so close to me. Her scent is intoxicating, she yearns for me, and I yearn for her. Why can’t we let ourselves enjoy this one fleeting moment?With that thought, my mind is made up and I lean in to close the gap between us, desperate to feel her soft lips on mine. My eyes begin to close as I feel her breath against my lips, and I move to capture her lips. But they’re not there.My eyes snap open and I see she’s pulled her head back and she stares at me with wide unblinking eyes. Heat rushes to my cheeks out of embarrassment from this rejection. Was I imagining it? I could’ve sworn that she wanted to kiss me just as much as I wanted to kiss her.Her cheeks turn read and she brushes a lock of hair behind her ear, turning her face away from me and she says nervously, “I should go.”I nod my head, “Yeah, it’s getting late.”“Yeah,” she murmurs. Her eyes flicker around us and she says, “Just so you know, the next few days