Realization hit me when she walked out of our bedroom. I acted stupidly. In the blink of an eye, I stole from her the sense of belonging and security I had been trying to plant in her for the past four months. Just when the plant was starting to blossom, I snatched it away from its roots. How was it easy for me to tell her that what I felt for her was granted on certain grounds?
Things between us had been great despite the fortune teller who sent her brain in pure turmoil for days. I understood where she came from though. I even thought about what she told me, but I brushed it away after a day. There wasn’t any proof that whatever she told Pri-Ayla was true.
Ayla. Her real name was Ayla. It was beautiful. Just like her.
I thought about the meaning behind her words, but I couldn’t figure out anything. I only gave her words a thought because I believed that this might ease Ayla’s nerves.
I was going to take some time to get used to her real nam
Published on June 5th, 2021 Sara
“I like your real name,” Rowena commented. I walked for almost forty minutes. At first, I didn’t know where to go, then I found myself making my way to her place. I needed to tell her about what I had just discovered about myself. I didn't feel like staying at home. I wanted to get away from Xander; his reaction hurt and I needed to. Even though when I woke up the first time he was holding me like he was afraid I might run away, I felt the need to get away from him for a while. When I woke up the next time, he wasn't there, but I found a piece of paper on my nightstand. He wrote 'I'm sorry for hurting your feelings and showing up in your bed, but I couldn't sleep without you.’ “It feels foreign to me,” I said, fiddling nervously with my fingers. “Would you like me to call you Priya? she wondered, but I shook my head. “I can't keep running away from who I am. I'm slowly discovering my identity and whether I like it or n
After remembering my name, I failed to remember anything else. Even though it had been a month and I was expected to remember more about myself, I remembered nothing and part of me was glad for that. I didn't want to remember anything else. I didn't want those temporary love and happiness to come to an end. As time passed, I realized how stupid it was to fall for Xander, but it wasn't like I had a say in the way I felt. And there was no going back. I didn't wake up one day and decided that he was the man I wanted to spend my life with. Xander was a magnet and I was a piece of iron. I couldn't resist him no matter what I did. I couldn't fight my feelings for him. I didn't choose to fall for that strong Alpha or to long for his return home every night. He made me feel alive. He showered me with love that I never wished to come to an end. I was starting to get used to my actual name. The pack members were a bit shocked when they learned that I remembered my name. Maybe
The answer stunned me. My wolf? Did I hit eighteen? Could I shift now? I sat down on the porch and let what I had just learned sink in. I had a wolf and her name was Riona. “Are you afraid of me?” Her sweet voice was reluctant. “No,” l answered truthfully. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said. Just when I was about to reply, I saw Xander’s Jeep. I immediately stood up and jogged towards him. “It’s my wolf. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but she told me she’s my wolf. Xander, she’s so sweet and she has this nice voice and I think I scared her without meaning to. Is my reaction normal? Did I unintentionally hurt her? Is there anything I should do to make it up to her?” I rambled. I was worried that I might have hurt her feelings. I didn’t mean to do that, but I was anxious and scared. “Calm down, love. Your reaction is normal. You just said that she’s sweet. Apologize to her and ask her what she likes. I think you can easil
“How does having a wolf feel like?” Rowena asked me as the two of us got in her car. When I told her three weeks ago about finally meeting my wolf, she was ecstatic. She came over along with Dinah almost immediately and we celebrated for the night. Riona loved the two of them, but she told me that she couldn’t sense their wolves like how she sensed Xander’s almost immediately. “I love this! I actually love Riona so much. She’s so fun and a bit sassy,” I replied, connecting my phone with her car’s Bluetooth to put on some music. "Damn right I am!" My sassy friend commented and I did my best to stiffen a laugh that threatened to escape me. Sometimes, I found it hard to control myself when it came to replying to Riona out loud, but Xander assured me that I was going to learn how to do it over time. I didn't want people to consider me crazy. “I love my wolf, too,” Rowena told me. “She’s my very close friend.” “I can happily say that I understand
Rowena and I decided not to tell anybody anything until after Dinah’s birthday party. She told me that my being a member of Crimson would not change a thing in our friendship, but I knew that it would change everything in my relationship with Xander. The relationship that was deemed to end soon. Too soon for my liking. Loana promised not to tell my pack that she ran into me until I decided what I wanted, but truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted. Dinah’s party came to an end sooner than I expected. Or maybe that was what I thought because I didn’t want it to end. I did my best to be happy, even if my soul was aching. I was going to tell Xander about my identity after the party, which meant that I was supposed to do that now. Rowena offered to stay with me while I told Xander the truth, but I refused. I had to do that alone. I had to listen to what he had to say alone. There were so many things in my life I was destined to endure alone and this was one of them. Endin
This happened too soon. I knew this day would come sooner or later, but it came so fast. She hadn’t been herself for the past two days and I thought that this was because she was close to shifting, but I was wrong. I should have expected the worst. I should have put into consideration that the nightmare I had been running away from had finally become a reality. The way she kissed me and asked me to hold her was weird. I didn’t understand why she was acting like that, because she had never done that before. Things cleared in my mind when she uttered what I wished to never hear. She knew things were going to end between us; she was kissing me goodbye. I didn’t want to be as cold towards her as I appeared to be, but the shock I was in was stronger than I could ever be. Realization hit me that things with Ayla were going to change forever. After what she told me, nothing was ever going to be the same. I wanted to talk with her, to discuss the whole thing with her
I woke up the next morning and as I expected, I was alone in my bed. I went to the bathroom and did my morning routine then I made my way to the door. When I tried to turn on the doorknob, the door wouldn’t open. Was I locked inside? I searched for my phone everywhere to call Xander or Rowena, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I looked at the digital clock beside my bed and saw that it was nine in the morning. Frustratingly, I sat down on the bed and waited for anyone to open the door for me. So many things were about to change and it seemed that the changes had already begun to take place. What was going to happen to me? Were they going to execute me? But I didn’t commit any crime that would demand my execution. “Riona, are you alright?” I whispered, desiring to check on my forever best friend. The only one who wasn’t going to
A week passed and nothing had changed. I didn’t bother to ask about any updates regarding my situation, because I didn’t give a damn. As long as I was here, I didn’t mind. I was safer here and my safety was my number one concern. I had been thinking about that for a while and I decided to run away once I would turn eighteen. I didn’t belong to Crimson and I didn’t belong to Silver Moon. I wanted to call Silver Moon my home more than I could put into words, but their Alpha rejected me and I wasn’t going to beg for a place among them anymore. It’s crazy how heartbreak could change a human being. I didn’t expect his reaction to be this harsh, but the way he reacted taught me a lesson I could never forget. It taught me that sometimes it’s important to step on our hearts for the sake of the bigger picture. So I stepped on mine too and every time my eyes met his, I hoped that he could see that he meant nothing to me even if deep down, he meant everything. Rowena visi