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I don’t sleep for hours after he leaves me. I lay on the bed, my nipples and clit throbbing, and stare blankly at the ceiling. What is happening to me? I’ve never been like this.
I think of Nigel. I think of our wedding. How proud I was of him. I remember our honeymoon. But none of it was ever like this. Sure we tried handcuffs and other toys, but most of the time I just wanted to giggle. At no time was it like this.I sit up. My sex is so swollen I can’t close my thighs properly. I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My mascara is clumpy and I just look slutty and horrible. I hear my phone ping. My dad looked so well today that I am pretty sure it’s not the hospital, nevertheless I hurry awkwardly to it.It is Nigel.I can beat this if I know you are there for me. Don’t let go, Star. Don’t let anything change. I love you.I feel so confused I can’t briBab terkait
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W hen I come down after seeing my dad I get into the car and, as casually as I can, tell Oleg that I need to go and see a friend. He nods politely and I give him Rosa’s address. “Wait here for me, please,” I instruct, and quickly walk up the path to her building’s entrance. I’m so nervous my hands are shaking as I ring on the doorbell. Nigel buzzes me up immediately.By the time I get to the fourth floor he is waiting for me outside the lift. He looks well, very well. There is no trace of sadness or regret in his face. I’m not sure how I feel about that.He smiles at me and I smile back at him. With complete confidence, he curls his arm around my back possessively, and leads me into her apartment. Inside, he wraps his arms around me and tries to kiss me, but I evade him.“Don’t,” I mutter, and walk away from him. “What’s the matter?”“Nothing. I just need a bit of time.” He looks at me strangely. “Okay.” “So how are
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NikolaiI stare at the director in shock. I know about men like him. Mama warned me about them when I was Pavel’s age.He smiles at me before gently taking his penis out. It is small, fat and white. He strokes it lovingly and it grows. A sigh escapes his thin lips. I stay frozen in my chair. He spreads the white handkerchief on his lap and carefully, tenderly, as if it is the most precious thing in the world, lays his penis on top.“Just put your hand on me,” he coaxes in a thick voice. “You can make your phone call after that.”I stare at the white worm and consider my options. He makes my skin crawl. I don’t want to touch him but I need to make that phone call.“Don’t you want to call your uncle to come and take you and your brother away?” he asks. I nod.“So come on over and kneel down in front of me.”I stand and take the two steps that put me right in front of him.“Go on. Get on your knees. The sooner you do this the quicker you can call your uncle.” I kneel in front of him.He
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StarFor the next four days I don’t see Nikolai. I write, I ride, I swim, I walk the wonderful grounds and I try unsuccessfully to befriend Belyy Smert, but he steadfastly refuses all my overtures.Every day at lunchtime I go to visit my father and I chat with Rosa over the phone. Every morning and night I call Nigel and we talk. We seem to have come to a strange sort of truce. We behave more like friends. He tells me about his progress at Gamblers Anonymous and I tell him about my riding efforts. The unspoken understanding is that everything will go back to normal between us when this month is over. He must guess that things can never truly be the same, but I don’t think he realizes how different they will be. How much I’ve changed.During the night I find it hard to sleep, so I read until the early morning hours. I’ve already read two old classics and now I’m almost finished with Their Eyes Were Watching God.Time passes quickly and I keep myself busy, but inside I know I am waiting
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“H ello, Miss Minton. This is Peter Thiel.”“Hello, Mr. Thiel,” I say, too shocked that he has actually called my number. “How are you?”I clear my throat. “I’m fine.”“That’s good. Well, the auction for your series is over.” “The auction?”“Yes. There was enough interest in your book for me to hold a little mini-auction.” “Really?” I gasp.“Are you sitting down?”The first thought that crosses my mind is oh no, he received such lows sums, he’s preparing me for the bad news. I won’t be getting the £15,000 that the cat book got. Then I brighten up. What does it matter if it’s just a small sum? The main thing is I will be published!I’m not sitting down, but I just say yes so that he can get on with it.“Right. This is just for the UK and English speaking markets worldwide, but not including the US. We’ll do those separately.”I frown, not understanding where the conversation is going. I’m going to need to do some serious research. English speaking markets? What are those?“Right. Are y
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Star“H oly Mother of God!” Rosa says, her eyes as big as saucers, when I meet her in the hallway. “And he bought the house next door for his staff,” I whisper.“Now why can’t I find a man like that for me?” she says with a dramatic sigh. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”I take her to my room and she lays the zipped up clothes carrier on the bed and looks around her. “So: this is how the super-rich live.”“The weird thing is all this doesn’t attract me at all. I’ve never wanted this. I still don’t. I want a nice house, a family, and a man who loves me to death.”“Well, why can’t you have that and this?”“I think when you have this much money you think you deserve more than one woman. There’s so much choice. So many women throwing themselves at you. It must take a saint to say no.”“Oh, I don’t know. I think I can totally rock being with a billionaire. So many people to boss around. Delicious.”I laugh. “God, you’re bad enough at Christmas when you sit there with a mug of tea like a Queen
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StarI get out of the car, surprised. I can see bouncers standing outside the understated entrance of some kind of club or restaurant. It is as if someone was trying hard to be ordinary. Everything about it is drab. There is an awning but even that is the dullest green you canthink of. The name of the club is in black on gray.Ziggurat.One of the bouncers immediately leaves his position and comes towards me. It’s a beautiful warm summer evening with an occasional gentle breeze and I stand there frozen.“Good evening, Miss Minton. My name is Roman,” he says when he gets close enough to me. “Good evening, Roman. Where is Nikolai?”“Mr. Smirnov is upstairs in his office and asked if you could wait for him.”“Oh.” He makes me come here alone and now he won’t even allow me to go up to his office. Instead he wants me to sit somewhere and wait for him.“Please, come with me. You can sit and have a drink in one of our private rooms,” he says. “What is this place?”He looks at me strangely.
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Suddenly, a powerful arm grabs my arm and whirls me around. The power of it is so strong it jerks me off balance and I almost fall, but I right myself and look at him with furious eyes.“You knew he was there,” I rage breathlessly. “You set it up.” “Yes,” he admits calmly.“Why?” I cry.“There was no other way to get through to you. When it comes to him you’re blind.”I lift my hand and strike him across the face. He doesn’t move. I watch my handprint leave a white mark that fills quickly with red.We stand there staring at each other. I’m panting hard and feeling hurt and shocked while he looks down at me, his eyes expressionless, a muscle in his jaw throbbing madly.“You tricked me. How could you do that? We were supposed to celebrate my first ever success. I thought we were going to have a lovely dinner together.” My voice trembles with emotion.He closes his eyes and exhales. “I’m sorry, Star.”“If you just wanted to humiliate me why did you get me to dress up? So I could look lik
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‘‘Sit down, Smirnov,” Vasily says, nodding to the chair in front of his table.I don’t sit. There is no love lost between us. He considers me a trouble maker and I despise him. As the second in command he looks the other way while the Director presides over an institution run on brutality and cruelty.Right now, though, I feel nothing except pure fear. I watch him as he leans his heavy frame on the table and feigns emotion.‘ I’m afraid I have some bad news. Your brother died this morning.’In my soul, I already knew what he was going to say, but it doesn’t lessen the impact of his words. I feel as if I am falling into a black bottomless hole. I try to grab hold of anything I can. My head feels light. I clutch onto the table edge in front of me.‘ I’m sorry, Nikolai. He fell over the banister.”“No,” I gasp. “That’s impossible. Someone must have pushed him.” He shakes his head slowly. “He didn’t just fall. He jumped.” “That’s a fucking lie,” I snarl.“We do not condone the use of such
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