Chapter 3

"WHAT?" I yelled, rather loudly, causing several babies in the plane to cry in unison. I was my own worst enemy, as well as everyone else’s on the plane right now. 

"Shhh..." Stephan said, placing a finger on his parted lips. "It might make my life easier, plus, imagine your cousin's face when she sees that you are at her wedding with someone she used to be with."

This proposition felt so tempting that I almost accepted it on the spot. Seeing Whitney's beautiful face crumble as she came to terms with the fact that her ugly cousin was now dating her ex. The one who was madly in love with her, was now in love with me (even if it was just a lie). However, I knew this would not be a good idea in the long run. If discovered, I would have to admit to Whitney that her presence, her mean comments, and her successful personal life did have an effect on me, so much so that I was currently contemplating having her ex-boyfriend be my fake date to her wedding, and this was too embarrassing to even entertain.

"No, not a good idea!" I said, very quietly.

"Why?"

"Because we have two different goals. I want to show my cousin that she isn't all that, and you do, by begging her to take you back. How embarrassing would it be for me, to have my date leave me for her? I would look less pathetic going to her wedding alone." I explained.

"OK, good point. But how else am I going to get into the wedding?" He asked.

"It's a wedding, not a Beyonce concert. I am pretty sure you can just walk into any of the events. Just crash the wedding." I suggested.

"Would you help me at least get her alone?!" he pleaded, then added a "please" when he noticed my face contorted into dissatisfaction at his request.

"Ugh, fine, but after that, you leave me out of it!"

"After that, I will be out of your life and if I am back together with Whitney, I will convince her never to speak to you again!"

"Never should have let you take me a seat, you seat thief. It was more of a headache than it's worth,"  I sighed, "but if you can get her fully out of my life, you have a deal!" Even though I was getting the smaller end of the stick. I mean I rarely talked to Whitney anymore. Still, I felt the urge to help him, and if nothing else, having Stephan’s presence at the wedding was going to ruin her special day a little bit. How could I say no to this possibility?

Stephan's flight phobia seemed to be cured as he snored loudly. Lucky for him, I usually couldn't sleep on the plane so I put on a podcast about big data and how data science needs to be adopted more through the corporate industry.

Just as the podcast host finished advising the industry on how data science can help predict customer decisions, I felt movement next to me as Stephan awoke from his deep slumber.

"Are we there yet?" He sleepily asked.

"30 more minutes to go, we are gonna be descending soon," I informed.

His groggy face had imprints for where it was resting on his hands, and there was a red hue on most of his white face. He scrubbed his eyes roughly with the back of his hands which seemed to rub some of the redness and grogginess out of his eyes.

As the plane began to descend, I expected Stephan to resume his default position, but he stretched and asked, "Did you sleep?"

"Nope, just listened to an interesting podcast."

"Oh, which one? I like the murder mystery ones." He divulged.

"I haven't heard any but will try them, I was listening to a big data podcast," I said.

"Wow, sounds like you are a nerdy smarty pants." He laughed.

I narrowed my eyes at him for his slight but said, "I am a huge nerd, I help companies adopt data science tools and help them create useful dashboards and reports."

"I have no clue what most of that means, but it sounds like you are very successful," he remarked.

"Thank you! I am working on getting a graduate degree on this topic. It's all very interesting. Data can tell you so much." I enthusiastically said. “For example, using the data from your hardware’s Point-of-Sale machine, you can predict what a customer can…”

"Ok...you definitely needed a nerd alert before I sat down next to you." He playfully said.

"You stole my seat, you scaredy-cat!"

In our conversation, neither of us realized that the plane was getting close to the ground. When it finally hit the pavement with a thud, we both stopped mid-conversation to take a sigh of relief. No matter how often you fly, once the plane hits the ground there is a relief that hits you. After all, humans flying wasn’t something the Good Lord intended. We were all meant to stay as close to the ground as possible. 

Stephan and I stayed close by as we walked through the airport and made our way towards the baggage claim. We now got to talking about our lives and family, and TV shows we watched, I was not too familiar with any of the shows he was talking about.

"Dexter is great if you are into serial killer stuff." He excitedly exclaimed as he grabbed his bag from the carousel.

"Oh, my bag is coming too!" I yelled with relief. Once you get your bag back it was a clear indication your current airport experience was over. I bend over to get it.

“Is that a tattoo?” He asked. I straighten up. My hand quickly went to my lower back to hide the little butterfly I got as a college student, on a dare.

“No!” I lied.

“It’s sexy!” He winks at me, and I try to scoff but it gets stuck on my throat. I had never been called sexy before. 

“Do you always say what’s on your mind?” I questioned. 

“Pretty much!” He shrugged and boyishly smiled at it. Oh lord, this kid is going to be trouble I thought. 

 I bend down once more, my hand not moving from my back. 

"I'll get it for you." He said.

As the bag approached I saw Stephan prepared by edging closer to the moving belt. Then with one fell swoop, he grabbed the bag and slammed it onto the still ground.

"Thanks!" I grabbed the bag handle from his hand, "Which hotel are you staying at?" I asked as we made our way out to the pickup location.

"I don't have one. I decided everything pretty much on a whim."

"Oh my god, what's your phone number?" I asked as I took out my phone and prepared to type his number in.

When he was finished uttering the 11 digits I hit the call button. He answered and jokingly said, "The person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."

"I am giving you my number for your benefit. I thought you wanted some time with the bride in private." I explained.

"Yes, I would! Thank you!" He said.

"My father is here to pick me up. It was really great–well greatish–meeting you! Hope I can help even though she doesn't deserve it, but you do!" I said as I flagged my father's black Mercedes.

"Thank you! I'll call you!" He shouted as the gap between us increased.

“Try not to!” I shouted back. 

****

Going home in your late 20s was always a chore, especially when one's family was like mine.

As soon as I stepped through the front door, the first question my mother asked me was, "Who are you bringing to the wedding?"

"Mother! Please." Was the only response I could muster after a long flight. It may have only been 9 o'clock in LA, but back in New York, I would have been sound asleep by now. LA's heat was also scrambling my brain and I was ready to just relax.

Although my mother had prepared dinner for me, I decided to just shower and get into bed.

I had slowly unpacked all the things I would need for tomorrow, which from the invitation I learned was the rehearsal dinner. I picked out a dark maroon dress that was shoulderless and reached my knees.

Satisfied with my selection I got into bed, having a hard time as this bed was a lot softer than my New York bed. It was also always strange being back in a room that no longer felt like yours.

Just as my closed eyes were on the edge of seeing a dream, a loud buzz on my phone jolted me back to reality.

On the screen, the name Stephan flashed, underneath which it read: Finally found a hotel room, in case you were too worried to sleep, I thought I'd let you know.

This text woke me up, so thanks for that. I replied back

A few seconds later my phone buzzed again with another message, Anytime! See you soon!

With that, I put my phone down and tried once more to sleep.

****

The next morning ended up being a rush. My mother shook me out of my already broken sleep with a panic.

"Sweetheart, wake up!" She screamed.

"Wh..what?" I replied as I slowly came too.

"Whitney needs you at the church. One of her bridesmaids couldn't make it. She needs you at the church for the rehearsal." My mother screamed as she scrammed around my room looking for something.

When I turned around and covered my face back with the comforter, my mother ripped me out of bed by grabbing my exposed arm. My mother may have just turned 60, but she was stronger than ever.

"I thought there was a church rehearsal in the morning for the wedding party. Wasn’t the rest of the family joining later for lunch? Why do I have to get up so early?" I complained.

"One of her bridesmaids dropped out and their numbers are uneven. So she needs you to fill in."

For a few seconds I contemplated saying no to my mother, but I knew this would elongate the conversation and I would end up losing. So I decided to just suck it up and do as I was told for the next two days. I let my mother push me around the rest of the morning. She told me when to get in the shower and banged on the door when I was taking too long. She criticized my dress choice and made me change my maroon dress to a shiny gray one which almost touched the floor and flowed in all directions when I walked. She even insured my father to drive me to the church and to speed it up past the speed limit.

Once my father dropped me off–he also decided on the same strategy as me, do what’s being told, though I only have to for the next two days, this was a lifetime commitment for him–I noticed my uncle was double-parked in front of the church gates, getting things out of his car.

I approached him and asked if he needed any help, he shook his head, gave me a big hug in place of a hello, and signaled me to get inside the church. Again, I did as I was told and followed two girls who were a few feet ahead of me. We walked down a few steps, and then a long hallway until we stopped in front of an open doorway. 

"Hello, anyone order a last-minute bridesmaid," I said, knocking on what looked like a dressing room.

"Hello!" One of the girls, who was walking in front of me said. "Whit is in the bathroom, she'll be out in a minute." The girl points at another door within the room. I took a seat on a couch placed across from the side of the room, where one of the girls was sitting and there I could hear sounds of retching.

You would expect a person who was just throwing up to look messy, sickly, and tired, but when the door opened and my nemesis walked out, she looked shiny and bright. She had a smile on her face that extenuated her beauty.

"Hey, Lauren! Thanks so much for filling in! Maria got into a bit of an accident. She is fine but she won't be able to make it to the wedding."

"Sure, happy to help," I said, faking a smile.

For the next hour, I did nothing but sit on the couch as the girls helped Whit get ready. They fussed over her make-up and hair. It took everything in my power to not exclaim that this was just a rehearsal, but as always, I kept quiet.

Since I had not slept properly last night and the jet lag was still lingering, I had dozed off. Thankfully a loud bang of the dressing room door had jilted me up. I now saw there was only Whitney and me in the room.

To avoid an awkward silence I said, "So excited to meet your future husband!"

"La, you are going to love him! He is such a sweetheart. He loves me like no other! Does everything for me before I even ask him!" She squealed.

"That's great!" I monotonously replied. It's always the evil, conniving, devil-adjacent witches that get everything they want in life. 

"He is so good looking too. Do you remember my ex, Robbie?"

Robbie, you mean my crush, the one you broke the girl code and stole from me? "Yes."

"Well, it's him! I am marrying him!"

"What?" I hollered, "On the invitation, it was Whitney and Richard."

"Robbie is a nickname of course!"

I knew It was petty to keep track of such a small incident that happened when we were teenagers, but this irked me. I wasn't sure why, I hadn't even thought about Robbie in years, almost to the point where I forgot he even existed.

Just as I was processing this new information, my phone buzzed with a message from Stephan: Just an update, the soap at this hotel sucks.

Are you on something? I replied.

To which he quickly replied, I wish. I just didn't know how to start a conversation about your purpose on this planet.

What?

You know the one where you help me and your cousin make nieces and nephews for you.

Whatever you are on, I have to make sure I stay far away from that drug... before I hit send, an idea came to me so I added: Also, we are going with plan A.

"Wow, he must be special if you're texting him so much!" Whitney commented, and I heard the annoyance in her voice. How dare I ignore the great Whitney while she spoke?

"He is..he is my boyfriend." I awkwardly said.

"What? Is he coming to the wedding? You didn't RSVP for a plus one." She recalled.  It irritated me that she had this information at the ready in her brain. It was like she especially made sure to look at my RSVP card just to check that I was in fact still alone.

"Ahh it's new, plus he was busy this weekend initially but now that he is free he figured he tags alone. I don't want to be a bother, but could he come to the wedding?" I cautiously asked.

I may have broken her brain. She started muttering to herself, “Fuck, now I’ll have to move Aunt May to table five, and you can have a seat at the cousin's table, but it will have to be the second cousin because there is no room on the first cousin's table.” Whitney eventually broke out of whatever trance she went into and the corners of her mouth curled into a mechanical smile and she let a “of course” through her teeth.

Plan A worked. Got you into the wedding!

My phone buzzed once more with an, I don't remember what plan A was but you are the man!