Chaptre 1

I jump at the sound of a knock on the door. I swiftly turn around to find my mom sweetly smiling at me.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?’’ mom asks as I fold a T-shirt and pile it in my suitcase. “You’ve never even been out of Washington, Sophie, aren’t you going to be homesick? And driving at might is never safe, especially with a bus!’’

“I’ll be fine mom,’’ I laugh. “Besides, Nick and Alice will be there with me.’’ I bite my cheek as I zip up the last of my luggage.

Mom smiles at me again and I can see in her eyes that she knows how nervous I am. She pulls me in for a hug and I hold my breath, trying to avoid the humiliation of crying for so little. What 18 year old girl would cry at the thought of leaving on a beach vacation with her bestfriend and her boyfriend for two weeks?

“Alright then,’’ she grabs one of my bags, “I’ll leave this at the door and you can come down when you’re ready.’’

I can see she’s also getting emotional, so I thank her and step into the bathroom. I tie up my light brown hair in a loose pony tail and firmly grip the vanity. I can feel my hands trembling and my heart pounding. Why did I let myself get dragged into this trip?

I remembered confiding in Alice at our graduation ceremony that I felt I had always been to mature and never did anything crazy. It was just a normal venting session until Alice had dared me to do something I would never do. I remember I had laugh at first.

“I’m serious!’’ she had exclaimed. “This summer is your last big chance to be a stupid teenager before you go to college. And, knowing you, you won’t even go to a party if Sasha or me aren’t there to convince you to go!’’ The last chance comment was what really did it. I don’t want to miss out on what are supposed to be the best years of my life.

I slip on a silver ring to match the earrings aunt Aria gave me years ago and slap on some colored lip balm. This way, Alice couldn’t say I didn’t even try. I stare at my face in the mirror.

“I am pretty. I am smart. I can do this.’’ I repeat my daily mantra. I swallow my evening Seroquel before slipping the bottle in my bag. Before I can start to get nervous again, I hear my doorbell ring and make my way downstairs. Expecting to see Nick in the entrance, I’m surprised to see it’s just dad, thanking the mail lady. I notice his eyebrows raise and he looks at me with a small grin.

“It’s your lucky day, Soph. The letter you were waiting on from aunt Aria just arrived.’’

Before he can even finish what he’s saying, I rip the letter from his hand and look at the writing on it. As I’m about to open it up to read it, the doorbell rings again. A little thorn I don’t get to read it right away, I slip the envelope in my handbag and open the door for Nick. He stares me up and down with his striking light blue eyes.

“Good morning, baby’’ he whispers as he pulls me in for a kiss. Though I know he would like for me to start a full-on make-out session, I give him a little peck and back away. I can feel my mom staring us down from the kitchen.

Nick looks a bit sad, but puts on a smile and greets my parents. They make small talk, but I’m too concentrated on calming my breathing to hear anything. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look over to see dad. Mom and Nick are loading my bags in the car, still chitchatting.

“You don’t have to go, Soph’’ he says softly. “I know you feel like you have to do this, to live your life to the fullest and all that, but...’’ He sighs.

I look outside and wonder how Nick would react to a change of heart. I shudder at the thought of Alice’s reaction. Still, I’m about to tell dad that I don’t actually want to go when something stops me. A strange feeling in my stomach, like a tug, makes me hesitate.

“I think I need too’’ I whisper. I give him a good bye hug and walk over to the car. I grab Nick’s hand with a smile and turn to mom.

“I’ll miss you’’ she says with teary eyes.

“It’s only two weeks mom’’ I laugh. I look away to avoid seeing her cry. “We’ll spend plenty of time together when I get back.’’ I give her one last hug and sit in the car. As Nick drives away, I waive my parents’ goodbye until I can’t see them.