"Hey sunshine, you good?"
"Yup," Eunae lied, trying to mask the lonely tone dripping from her voice.
It was her birthday, probably one of the happiest days she had always looked forward to. But with the unprecedented change of how her world had turned upside down, the most awaited day that was usually filled with glitters and rainbows and a hundred more memories of laughter was nothing, but a dull normal day.
It seemed unimportant enough not to be even remembered. If anything, she honestly wanted to forget it and all the previous birthdays she had before this.
Everything was running business as usual just like how the recent years had been. She was at home right after school, while her mother was busy building their company from square one to provide her a better future.
Eunae was more than happy that her mother had already recovered and began living than merely existing. It took a series of counselling, years of living apart, and daily yearning to be in Eunha's arms, but they were all worth it. There was nothing she could ask for to see her mother feel much better-to see her well, alive, and kicking.
But at the same time, there were days when she could not seem to push down the loneliness that would creep into her bones once in a while. Sure, she had Yunoh and his loving parents to always turn to, to shower her with affection and care, and she was very thankful for that.
But then, if she had to be truthful, it still felt a way lot different to have her mother by her side-it just felt different.
Heaving a deep sigh, Eunae closed her eyes and plopped on her bed lazily. She was not in the mood to talk to anyone, and all she ever wanted was for slumber to finally take her in-to help her escape from all the melancholy swathing her whole.
"Yunoh Lee!" A piercing shriek rumbled from her throat as soon as she felt being lifted and eventually found herself on Yunoh's shoulder like a sack of rice. His swift action took her breath away and made her world spun around. "Put me down!"
"I said put me down!"
"No."
"What are you even up to? Just put me down!"
"No."
"Hell, yes you will!" She screeched like a broken toy, her fists hitting him lightly on his back as if it would make a difference.
"No."
Struggling from his hold, Eunae tried to reach for his shirt from the back, hoping it would take his attention and give her the peace she had been screaming. "Yunoh, I'm not kidding, you better put me dow-ah! What the hell!"
A striking pang of pain suddenly made her backside throb. Her cheeks turning into a deep shade of red at the thought of what he did.
"Shut up," Yunoh muttered nonchalantly after lightly spanking her behind. "We're going to have fun."
"What do you mean?" Eunae nervously exclaimed, her imaginations going wild.
"We're going to have fun," he repeated, cryptically this time around as if getting a hint of how her voice wavered. Her heart immediately hammered against her chest as the thousands of possibilities that came crashing in her mind like a wave that swept her off her feet.
"Yunoh, I'm not in the mood for games. What are you planning-aw! Hey! Stop that!" She yelled bashfully as his hand met her bottom for the second time.
"Stop asking me questions, then. Trust me, you'll enjoy this," Yunoh chuckled darkly, tapping her bums repeatedly as if taming her to be a good girl.
Nibbling her bottom lip, clearly embarrassed, Eunae slumped on his shoulder without a fight and stopped struggling. Her eyes were rooted on the dull rough pavements before the lush green grasses filled her view.
Getting a glimpse of what was right in front of her, Eunae could not hide the whirlwind of emotions suddenly coming through, and the millions of butterflies swimming in her stomach. It had been long since she came back to this place and she could not help but feel the pump of adrenaline pulsating through her bloodstream. She had always cursed every memory she had with it and sworn to herself that she would never take a single step back in such place that held all the beautiful memories that had turned to nothing but pain, yet here she was, ironically filled with happiness with the mere sight right in front of her.
"Oh god! This is so fun!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, her hands raised in the air, feeling ecstatic as the wind slapped her face.
"It's fun, isn't? I told you it's going to be fun." Eunae barely heard him speak as the ride took every single bit of her attention. The familiar way as to how it pulled the invisible strings in her stomach and made her feel utterly thrilled seemingly barred every other things there was in her surroundings.
"We're moving higher!" She screeched excitedly, not really minding what he asked.
Holding onto the barrel as their seats went higher, Yunoh intertwined their hands together before giving her a swift look, "I'm glad you're having fun."
"Yunoh, look! Isn't that the ice cream parlor we always go to?" Barely giving him a glance as she pointed at the small stall from the sky too excitedly, Eunae did not know that she had just cut him off to which he did not seem to mind. Yunoh only shook his head and chuckled on his own as he kept his hand around hers.
After the whole fiasco from a while ago, she did not expect that they would be at the amusement park and enjoy every ride there was.
Yunoh was true to his words when he told her they were going to have fun, because she surely did.
It had been long since she stepped in such place.
The glitz and glamor the park used to have had surely faded before her eyes like a fairy that had lost its wings. The moments that were once filled with blossoming flowers had turned into sharp dangerous knives that pierced her body from within.
Through the years, she still did not have the courage nor any willingness to have a trip down memory lane of how her birthdays had passed when all she could see was the face of her father happily strolling with her-a picture she had long gone forsaken out of her mind.
Eunae used to love amusement parks-it was her safe haven.
With the daily busy schedules of her parents, the time they allot for visiting amusement parks was the core of their family bonding. It held a myriad of memories from the years she could barely stand to the days she could run around on her own.
It was a subtle symbol of a loving and complete family she used to have and which she had already buried six feet under. It was something she would not opt to remember if only she had a choice.
"Stop thinking of him," Yunoh suddenly demanded, startling her when she felt his thumbs on her cheeks.
"What, again?"
Yunoh reached for her face and wiped away the unknown streaks of tears that ran down her cheek, "You won't be bawling your eyes out if it weren't for him."
With her mouth falling agape, Eunae nodded her head bashfully and stifled her whimpers. She really could not hide anything from him. Yunoh could always manage to see through her, and she did not know if it were something she should be thankful for.
The mere fact that he could easily see through her most likely meant he knew her utmost adoration towards him-something she did not know if she should be happy about or terrified to the bones.
She could not bring herself to ask because she could not afford to risk anything they had. She could not risk losing someone, whom she held very dear when she could barely count them with her fingers.
All she knew was that she could not lose anyone. She could not lose her best friend.
She could not afford to lose Yunoh, too.
"You'll always have me, sunshine. I'll never leave you," he sworn, cupping her cheeks. He looked at her ever so gently before placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I'm not like him."
And as always, Yunoh was true to his words.
When he said he would never leave her, he never really did.
Through the years, he had never left her side. And now that they were just a month away from celebrating their second wedding anniversary, Eunae could only smile bitterly hearing how people envy what they have. Everyone seemed to love how they radiate like perfect lovers with the most unwavering relationship every couple could only wish for.
It was probably the glitz, the glamor, and the grandeur of how their marriage swept the people around them to believe the never-ending façade they had been putting up with. Everyone loved to have the kind of marriage and almost fairy tale love story they have not really knowing what had been happening behind the curtain.
Because like everybody else, little did Eunae know, that walking down the aisle and meeting Yunoh in front of the altar two years ago, would be a door to the beginning of the end.
M U T T E R S E E L E N A L L E I N(German) (adj.) To be utterly and extremely alone and lonely that no one could even find you or reach for you, physically and mentally.Over the years, a lot has changed, most especially between Eunae and Yunoh.They were more mature now and have been building their own paths to reach their dreams. Yunoh had been taking over their company, the same way Eunae did for theirs.Who would have thought that after a few years, they would be where they were now? Handling huge companies that provided means of living not only for their families, but also for hundreds if not thousands of people working for them. Maybe above all, was making use of the same surname not only on legal documents, but rather in a daily basis of merely being addressed.Eunae h
[TW]: implication of rape[Flashback]"Is there anything wrong?" Eunae asked, quite warily. The atmosphere during the car ride home was unfamiliarly cold and distant. It was both terribly and questioningly odd that even though he was just right beside her, she felt as if he was a mile away out of her reach.Yunoh furiously went inside their new home and banged the door shut, "You don't know?""I don't know why you're so angry. Tell me what's happening," Eunae almost begged, letting the hem of her wedding dress lick the floor as she chased after him."Fuck off!" He yelled, pushing her forcefully that she fell to the ground. "I trusted you, I fucking trusted you! Goddamn it!""What are you even saying? I don't understand!""Cut the bullshit!" Yunoh roared, forcefully pulling her up by the arm. He pushed her agains
"Place it down, you're going to tire yourself.""I can handle this, it's not too much work."Yunoh took the dirty plates from Daeun and shook his head, "I don't want to risk it."Baffled with the unusual view before her, Eunae weaved her brows together as she quietly scrolled down her contacts. Yunoh had always been protective towards Daeun, but it was too bizarre to see him become way overprotective overnight."Babe, it's fine, I'll do the dishes."Shrugging, Eunae continued to scroll down her contacts before sending a text message. She had to move the family dinner since Daeun did not seem to have any plans on leaving any time soon.It would be too much work to push through with the simple gathering when Yunoh would most likely cancel it if he were too preoccupied with his mistress. She would just be wasting her time on nothing.Swiftly
L I E F D E S V E R D R I E T(Dutch) (n.) the sadness, depression, or pain one feels about a love unanswered or love that is gone.As the sun left the horizon and the moon and the stars stole its rightful place, Eunae found herself still crouched in the corner of the dark hotel room without any food in her stomach nor any blink of sleep.Her mind continued to race with the miserable events that took place in her life, her heart falling into irreparable pieces remembering the news she received earlier on that stabbed her like a knife, and her throat closing in with the lump of breath caught up within.She basked in pain as she berated herself with multitudinous questions about the choices she had made, actions she had done, opportunities she did not take, feelings she had suppressed,
C W T C H(Welsh) (n.) a warm, affectionate hug, cuddle or snuggle that gives a feeling of a safe place or home.Eunae was strolling by the beach and basking in the morning sun when she met a little girl playing in the sand.After spending days of crying her eyes out in the hotel room, she finally decided to go out and relieve everything she had been feeling. The space had been nothing but suffocating, and she knew she had to go out to breathe. Locking herself in a four-walled confined space almost drove her crazy. She knew she needed to escape."Hi, sweetheart, may I know what you're doing?"Crouching beside the little girl, Eunae wondered as to what must have taken her interest. There was nothing, but millions of particles of sand shaped into di
[Flashback]"Tell me who forced you to marry Eunae because the last time I checked, it was you who you wanted to marry her out of your own will." His mother taunted, and it only made him angrier."Out of my own will?" Yunoh scoffed. "Do you honestly think I could just watch the business to crumble down without doing anything? I might have chosen to marry her, but it wasn't out of my own will. It was out of helplessness and desperation!""Then you could've told us," his father started with a strained voice. "You could've told us the truth instead of lying that you've been meaning to marry her because you love her. Damn it, Yunoh! She was like our own daughter too, and you had the audacity to do this?" his father yelled indignantly.And almost instantly, Yunoh flinched seeing him shake in anger. Never had he heard him talk in such a manner and never did he see him this exasperated. Steam was practicall
"A-ah, I think I-I have to go-""Don't leave, Nana, Riri sad," the little girl cut her off, placing her little fingers above his hand, seemingly sealing it for her not to leave.Conflicted, Eunae subtly nibbled her lower lip and internally contemplated. She surely wanted to run away and never see them again, but at the same time, she did not want to leave the little girl who stayed by her side, while pain engulfed her whole.She did not want to be an ass by leaving them abruptly after benefiting from their kind acts. She was not the kind of person Yunoh had always thought of-she was not, and she did not want to be the manipulative bitch he had tagged her as.Slumping back on the sand, Eunae finally made her choice. She sat comfortably beside the two strangers, who were having triumphant smiles painting their lips."Yehey! Nana stay!"Eunae failed to stifle th
Eunae grinned, feeling incredibly sanguine. She wanted to learn more about love, and she was happy to find someone she could ask about what it really meant.Because above all, she was desperate to know if everything she had went through were bits and parcels of love all along like how she believed in. Or more so, like how she wanted herself to believe in."Did love mean giving everything you got?" She started excitedly, ticking one question after the other in her mind."Probably," he shrugged. "We usually tend to give everything for the person we love," he stopped as she looked at her with a smile. "But of course, not entirely to the point where you won't have anything left."Suddenly, color seemed to drain from her face and the excitement rushing through her bloodstream popped like a bubble that ceased to exist. And as if seeing through her, his smile slowly vanished as he looked at her with n