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CHAPTER 44- THE LAST SELF CONTROL IN ME
It has been three weeks but it feels like yesterday. I felt a surge of loneliness and regrets knowing I was the main reason why the attraction cycle happened to him. If he had not been attracted to me, things would have been better.
Most of the time, I wish I was the only one being affected. I wish I was the only one being attracted to the same sexes and not the other way round. It feels like I am suffocating and the person I can rely on has left to figure out about himself.
I think that is the best decision from his point of view. I never tried to visit his department, as per the promise I gave to him. To never try to see him, or contact him. To him, he needs time to heal and stop the weird feeling haunting him.
Joy, who would have been on my neck about Chris later informed me that Christopher informed her that he i
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WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 45- FEELINGS WILL COME AND GO
I felt someone drag my right hand, as I felt my body tremble a bit."Are you okay?", Abigael's voice sounded, as I touched my neck nervously." Yes, of course. I mean you almost scared me like that", I said as she laughed which I frowned at."Hey, sorry about that. You sounded more like a scaredy-cat. Anyways, you promised to explain that chemical combination to me", Abigael explained, as I touched my forehead, totally forgetting about it." Don't tell me you forgot. I have to understand today. Remember that the insane lecturer might give us a test tomorrow. I don't want him to start his whole drama again" Abigael clarified.I glanced slightly as I noticed Joseph walking out of the lecture room. Can my day get any better? I guess Abigael just thwarted my plan of talking to him. But can I talk to him? I chased him away before."I guess we are doing this Abigael. Let us start, the earlier, the better", I stated, as we both settled down together.
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 46- ATTEMPTED RAPE
Just seeing the message made me weak somehow. Maybe because I care about him due to the attraction I had to him. I looked at my phone which showed Josephine's contact.I glanced slightly but did not see Josephine. She was not around either."Hello, students, sorry I am late", the voice of Mr. Lekan rang through my ear as I groaned inwardly. I forgot we were having another lecture.The whole lecture was not a good one as I kept slacking in attention, writing and I never raised my hands to answer any question. I kept peeking at my wristwatch to check the time." Michael, you seem off today. Quite unlikely of you", the voice of Mr. Lejan jolted me out of my state, as I stood up nervously, the murmurings of my coursemates echoing 'that is true'."I'm sorry about that sir. I will try to listen attentively now", I promised as I bow my head slightly, " Better do. Your contribution is important in my class", he buttressed, as I nodded sitting
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 47-A SHOCKING REVELATION
"St..op", I can't count the number of times I said that word as he has unbuttoned my shirt and he is trying to go further. I don't know why I feel so weak, as my brain is almost shutting down, my stomach feels like it is being tightened.Oh God, please help me, I said inwardlyI felt him stop, as he moved away from me. I opened my eyes as his face was darted in another direction. I quickly buttoned up my shirt, as I hurriedly went out of his room. I never minded how heavy it was raining, he almost raped me.Hugging my body, I kept running as tears kept running down my face. The street was becoming desolate as cars were few. My body started shivering as I continued walking and running at the same time.My body was wet as I kept going, not looking behind. My eyes felt blurry as I was almost reaching my hostel. Breathing in and out relentlessly, I kept going. I can do this, I kept telling myself.The cold breeze was not helping me as my bo
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 48- HEARTBREAKING CONFESSION
I peeked at him, as I blinked my eyes, hoping it was a trance, but it was not."A confession?", I asked " Yes, but you need to rest. I'm leaving now since I have a lecture. I will inform your assistant that you are sick", he said, shocking me again.I thought he wanted to confess something. He is…. I couldn't find the right word to describe him. He placed me well on the bed, as he covered me with a blanket.He later went out, closing the door, bringing nothing but making my heart go crazy. I would have been able to stop Joseph from getting attracted to me but, I guess it was impossible.This feeling of mine feels like a plague, tormenting me everywhere. It would have been best if I am attracted to the same sexes, and not vice versa. Joseph almost raped me, that alone sends every part of my brain spinning. My eyes started closing, as I gave in to sleep.******I felt strengthened as I could not help but prepare a homemade snack
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 49-I NEED TO HELP HIM
As I leaned against the door, I could feel my head almost spinning. I felt my body ache as my mind went back to what Joseph revealed. He wanted to have me on video, how ridiculous. He saw me as a tool he can use and dump.Cleaning the tears off my face, I stood up as I slept on the bed. He is not worth it. He is the most disgusting fellow I have ever seen. I curse the day I got attracted to him. I just hope he gets off my life.****The whole week was more like singing a lullaby to me, boring and stressful. Joseph kept begging me but I never yielded. He looks lean, his eyes more like he has cried his sockets out. I don't think he deserves to be listened to. I still find it difficult to think straight knowing he wanted to have sex with me and also have me on video, just to win a bet.These days, I have been lonely as I avoided my friends too as I needed some space. Walking alone has been my thing now and spending most of my time in the campus
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 50- ALMOST GIVING IN(1)
I can't help but have a cold foot seeing Joseph. His hair was wet and looked messy, with his eyebrows darted in different directions. The light illuminating from my room makes his face clearer as his eyes were red. His lips paused in a thin line, as he tried to talk as I perceived the smell of alcohol which made me cough, the reeking smell filling my nostril."I have fallen dee..ply for you. Why are you avoiding me", he stuttered as he staggered forward as I held his shoulders." It feels so terrible with this feeling. I can't stop it and I feel almost less when you are on my mind. Please forgive me. Help me out", he stated as he leaned closer to me.My heartbeat as the thought of him kissing me came to my mind, making me shudder inwardly. I can't let this happen. I can't kiss the same sex neither can I give my first kiss to him. I have to stop this", I told myself only for him to fall on my shoulder, as his head rested on my shoulder."Joseph", I
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 51- ALMOST GIVING IN(2)
Am I still angry at him? Well, I can't say for sure. I felt angry at him because he tried to force himself on me. Getting to know about the bet left my head spinning because he wanted to have me on video.But Chris's words touched me so I have forgiven him."I'm not angry at you", I said, sparing him a glance.He moved closer as he stood in front of me." I am sorry for everything. For threatening you with the video. I…", "Stop it. I understand. You are attracted to me and you were finding it difficult to control the new feeling. In the process, you thought it would be best if we both engage in sexual conduct to control the sexual urges", I explained everything that I feel was the reason behind his actions.His face dropped, as he sat on one of the stools with a sour expression." I never expected I would develop anything for you. And If possible I said some things while drunk yesterday, They are all true", he said, his
WEIRD FEELING CHAPTER 52- THE RIGHT DECISION
"I...", I could not make out the words. I'm confused, and frustration is beginning to set in my mind.Bowing my head slightly, I closed my eyes as I felt imaginations coming into my head. The next day after discovering my feelings for the same sex, I prayed for self-control. I also promised not to give in to my feelings.It would be for the best, not only for me but for Joseph. If we engage in sexual pleasures, that cannot reduce the liking we have for each other. It would only ignite the lust as well as the temporary happiness we would enjoy in the meantime. Most importantly, we will both be committing a grievous sin.Even if I give in, I know myself pretty well. A guilty conscience will eat me up, especially when I have promised the Almighty of doing the right thing.'God gave me feelings, not for me to give in to it but to learn how to control them'. I have two choices.One is to give in to this weir
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