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CHAPTER 21
Just like what he said, he fetched me.
"Hi," he greeted when I stepped out their mansion. I just gave him a forced and awkward smile because the words his father told me did not leave my mind. Mister Adonis made me think about Jinx's feelings towards me. I mean, I have this attitude and personality that I assume some things — that only happens when I often notice that things.
He opened the passenger's seat for me and so I entered there, he then guided me buckle my seat belt before he headed towards the driver's seat. As soon as he settled himself in the seat, he looked at me with his worried expression which made my confusion crept my system.
"Uh, why?" I asked him but he just responded with a shook of his head. I do not even know why he's not talking or even uttering something except his greet lately. I just shrugged my shoulders at it and leaned on the backrest, he, on the other hand started the engine for us to go home and have our night class.
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Wretched Self CHAPTER 22
Funny how Jinx acted like he was courting me.Everything he does for me, he became more sweet and always gives me chocolates and flowers.But I do not know if he really does, maybe I was just imagining things.I am on the verge of hating my thoughts and mind when Jinx whispered something into my ears."Would you let me court you, Astra?"My eyes widened and looked at him with so much shock. I even held my chest. "W-What?"He smiled. "Do not you notice it? I like you so much, Astra. From the first day I saw you, I already like you. I love everything about you and I want us."I pursed my lips. We are just here outside his house in the village because we decided to do jogging. And I want to sun bath. "I do not get you, Jinx. You just told me this this time. You have been acting like you are courting me. Can you tell me what you actually feel? Y-You are confusing me."He sighed and reached for my hands so he can hold me there. "Astra
Wretched Self CHAPTER 23
"Why you seemed avoiding me?"I avoided my look from Jinx and did not bother answering his question. I continued putting the trash paper on the trash can while we were outside the mansion, in the backyard because I have to put the trashes off the office of Mister Adonis."Astra, hey, I am asking you."I sighed and shook my head. I still did not answer, I hope he get what I meant. I already responded by wagging my head."Astra, why are not you talking to me?"I just could not talk and look at him because of shame. I still could not forget my dreams about him courting me. Why did I thought and dreamed about that? It was so embarrassing and I would not tell it to anyone. I do not have the guts to and my mind could not still grasp everything that was happening in the lame dream.And I know, if I would tell him that, he will laugh at me and tease me all the time. And of course, he will damn assume! He was a bit of annoying man."Hey, Astra
Wretched Self CHAPTER 24
"Have you two talked to each other?"While slowly chewing the food inside my mouth, Sew asked me that. I looked up at her to ask if who was she referring to. "Who?" II asked, creased brows and confused."Duh, of course, Jinx."Upon hearing his name, I properly sit in my seat. I do not even know why I did that. I felt a bit uncomfortable and awkward. I just did not forget what he said that made me feel annoyed. Like, how can he compare me with a thing? And he was even referring to the food. I and the food were completely different."Ah, yeah. We have talked, of course," I laughed and shook my head."Yeah, it was obvious that you two really talked to each other," she was sarcastic while saying that. I cleared my throat and say nothing, I just stared at my food. I could not move my hands properly because it was like I am frozen."Why do you think we had not talk, anyway?" I asked her and gulped."Nothing, Jinx just texted me and asked if
Wretched Self CHAPTER 25
"W-wait, what? What the hell are you even saying?" I asked Jinx with my widened eyes because of shock.I could not believe he said that! Like, what the fucking hell?! He likes me and he was slowly falling in love with me? Is he even joking? Well, if he is, it was not funny. And I will never laugh at that if ever."I hate fooling around, you know.." he sighed and lifted his weight, he then stood up in front of me straightly like a soldier in a training. "I am just fooling myself, and you, Astra.""What do you mean? You are just joking back then? That you do not even care at me and you are just playing around me?"He chuckled and shook his head. "Of course, no. What I mean is, I should not fool myself to deny that I do not have feelings towards you. It was just that, I am afraid of rejection and also, you might not like me, like the feelings are not even mutuals."My heart beats started pacing. So, he was really serious with that? That he likes
Wretched Self CHAPTER 26
"Yes, I do like you too."I am happy that I already expressed my feelings towards him. I am grateful that finally, I have nothing to hide anymore, that my feelings was already expressed and I am proud of myself for having the guts to say that. I could not help but to be proud of myself. My heart now was at peace. Nothing would bother me anymore very night and daw.If I only know that I could find my peace of mind by confessing, I have already done it from he start.I could see his eyes full of strong emotions upon hearing me repeat my words with all my heart. He looks so happy while we were staring at each other direct into the eyes. I could hear my heart beats pumping fast and I think he hears it because silence embraced the whole place. Funny how I could feel his' too."Are you not joking?" he asked slowly, voice were monotone. I nodded my head twice and forced a smile. Gosh, i felt so awkward.""Yes, I am not."The side oof his lips
Wretched Self CHAPTER 27
Things was fast and I did not expect that I would come this far. I just go with the flow of the world and to what God has planned to my life."I am happy that there was a development between you and Jinx, Astra," mister Adonis said while we were eating in their kitchen. Do not get me wrong, he invited me to join their dinner especially that Jinx's mother will arrive later.I am afraid and excited at the same time. I know Jinx's mother is an intimidating woman that is why I am nervous, and excited because finally, I will already meet the mother of the man I like.I want to know if she likes me or not, but for sure, she would because Jinx and Mister Adonis told me that Jinx's mother has a sweet side. She was intimidating, however, I adore her. Even if I had not see her yet, I am already amazed by how her family describes her. I love their relationship anyway."Jinx was the first one who confessed," I smiled and looked at Jinx teasingly. He was sitting
Wretched Self CHAPTER 28
I was just that ashame to show myself to Jinx.I did not went to work the next day because I know that Madame Lucia was there. As far as I have remember, they say that she would be at home temporarily. And I am shy and afraid to show myself again. I am too coward, really. And I am being sorry for myself because of that.I thought I am already fine. That I would not feel upset anymore because my anxiety and depression has already leave me, but I am not sure right now even if my doctor said that I am already healed. I just have to control myself.But then, I think my previous problem that I thought that was already gone came back.It was annoying and frustrating. I cannot focus on my class and the thing I should do. I even did not inform Mister Adonis that I will excuse myself too. But maybe he already understands what was the reason why I did not come for work.I have not seen Jinx for one week already and I could not help but be sad. He did n
Wretched Self CHAPTER 29
Time was really just fast and sometimes, you would not notice it.I did not know when I started avoiding him. I did not count the days, though. Because if ever I do that, I will get bored and became impatient to everything.I want to see him but I did not know how to.Maybe I would just let fate across life and will have faith from Above. I know He will control me and He has a good plan for me. I did not know what was it, but I know it was a good thing and was better than my plans.But still, I could not help but feel sad.It was like I am too drained. I always think about him but then, the words from his mother was stopping me to like him. It was annoying at the same time. My emotions has been mixed. Damn it.I could not understand myself anymore. It was like I came back with my old personality and mindset. Negativities came across and crept my mind.I fucking want to scold myself."Hey."I stopped from what I was doing
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