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CHAPTER 45
Wait, what? You two kissed?!"
I almost cover my ears when Sew asked that thing so loud. I just whisper that to her because I was too shy, but then, here she was, screaming triumph but somehow surprised. My cheeks was already getting red and I know, she clearly saw how I blushed.
"Yes, but please, calm your voice down," I almost plead. She covered her mouth and let out a small laugh. I diverted my gaze off her because I am already shaking.
Jinx just brought me home and it was already 3 hours after morning came. I couldn't sleep because his lips seems like stayed with mine. I mean, I still could feel it! Damn that man, he was making me go fucking crazy again.
I gulped and stopped myself from touching my lips. If I could only not wash my lips forever.
"Why did you let him? You said you will just let him kiss you when you turn 18, right? What happened now? You could not resist it?" Sew said while I was not looking at her.
"What? No! It's my damn
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Wretched Self CHAPTER 46
I still could not get what happened.As far as I have known, Madame Lucia hates me. She does not like me for her son. She does not like the way I wear outfits, and she see me as a trash. But then, now was different. The way she looks at me, it has something to do with my euphoria.I smiled in my inner me. I want to scream, I want to hug her, I want to tell nor show to her how happy I am. But maybe, she does not like me do such a thing. I think I am still a disgusting woman she first saw.I could not tell it by just her eyes!I know, eyes cannot lie, but I did not want to give myself false hope because I will just be the one who would be hurt.I should know my place.We went to the backyard of their mansion. I was a bit shy because Jinx did this for me. This is their house and funny how I celebrate my birthday here. It was theirs and it felt very awkward!"Hey, calm down, please?" Jinx looked at me, worries written all over his face.
Wretched Self CHAPTER 47
"I apologize for every bad things I do to you."That was the first thing Madame Lucia let out as we both sat in the bench behind the flowers covering their background. I have been here with months already but funny how I could not memorize the place and how this mansion go flow. This was kind of maze.I looked at her with my pleading eyes. I did not like the thought that she is being sorry. Yes, she did wrong, but I do not need her apologies because I already understands her from the start.I gulped as my chest tightened. "You do not have to...""But I want to, Astra."She sounded so damn serious and I could sense her feeling guilty. I sighed and shook my head. God, this is so awkward and embarrassing at the same time. This is torture for me, fucking damn."Anyway, if you want to, then I will just accept it. It is my pleasure to be thrown with your sorry, but really -"I was cut off because of her sighs. "I want to say sorry because I
Wretched Self CHAPTER 48
Why would jinx always sticks to me?Bad luck never leave my life. Even if I do everything just to receive good things, it still couldn't. I am slowly losing hopes, really. I always wish that maybe, tomorrow will be a good day, that the sun rises with good things ahead. But... I am nothing but a glue of bad things.And yes, jinx' stays with me but why... Why do my love named Jinx can't? I did all my best to love him. To be a good woman, person.Things really turns out opposite with what you have plan.Expecting is not a good behaviour for every person. Because in the end of the day, it will just hurt you. You will be ending up with pain, agony that is like death that you never want.I always keep asking myself. Do I deserve this?Everytime, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. That things that was active, good nor bad, is something that will g
Wretched Self CHAPTER 49
"What are your plans now?"I was busy eating in the table when Sew appeared. I really avoided her for many weeks because of shame. I am feeling so embarrass because of my immature act these past few days. I really scold myself big time for making her worry and feel bad. I just gave headache to her."What do you mean?" I asked in monotone. Good thing I didn't stutter. I sipped on my water while not looking at her. I am really ashamed. I don't have the face and guts to look at her in the eye."I am asking if what are your plans," she repeated."I... I don't have..." I said and shook my head. "I don't know what to do. B-But maybe, I will just continue living and wait 'till death..."She almost stomped her feet. "Come on, Astra. You are being selfish! Think of the people who loves you!""There is?" Tears started to form in my eyes."Of course
Wretched Self CHAPTER 50
JINX'S POV"Please, marry your fiancee. Stop loving me... Your feelings towards me is just... is just useless..."That remarks from the woman I love is like a pointed knife keeps on tugging my chest through my heart. It hurts a lot. It was like breaking me. It was like I am slowly falling down and the time I touch the floor, I will be nothing but a debris alone.I should have told her the truth before I confess my feelings towards her so it wouldn't be so much hard like the current. I should have told her that I have a fiancee and I am willing to cancel the marriage for her. I should have told her before she get hurt. But fuck this Cowardliness.I was about to... but I thought that she might push me away and hate me.It was all my fault..."Jinx, do your job correctly," said mom. But I was too preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't bother to look at her. "It's over! Don't be too much driven by that Astra! You have Jane, okay? She is bett
Wretched Self CHAPTER 51
JINX'S POVIt was like I am lost.I cannot find myself anymore. I don't know where to seek the old self when I am with the woman I love. I only feel like I am complete when I am around with my significant other.And now that I am alone, I lost reason to live.I do not know anymore what my purpose is and why I decided to continue to live.I lost everything and my happiness fades away. I did continue living to just accept the fact that happiness don't last long. That life is full of challenges and struggles that everyone should pass through.Cold breeze hit my skin as I sat on a Bermuda grass. I then roamed my eyes around the city lights. I forced a smile. I was already viewing the quite huge city and I hope. I just hope that she was there...That she was in the inside of one of the house or unit.If she does not
Wretched Self CHAPTER 52
"Wow, so fast, bro."I just smiled at Jane as she made fun of me for coming to the rendezvous early. I often come late when she invites me for a meet up. And now, it really look different because I look so eager.I did not know what will be her important thing to say but I guess it is kind of a good news. My system just automatically get excites for no valid reason.I sat in front of her with the round table between us. We were here in a well known restaurant. I asked Jane's order and so we choose nice food that will satisfies us.I tilted my head to her while we were waiting for our order to arrive. It will took minutes, tho. "So, what will be the important thing you will say to me?"She chuckled. "Really? As fast as that? I did not know that you are now interested to what would I say."I slightly rolled my eyes. "Just spill it.""Bro, y
Wretched Self CHAPTER 53
ASTRALLAINE'S POV"Are you good?"I looked up at Simon when he put bowl of food in the center of the table. He invited me to have dinner with him in a restaurant that was near our place."Yes," I smiled at him. I just said that because I do not want to talk more about the past. I am done with it. I am already over with it. The things that has happened in the past should never be brought up back.I do not want to remember how I ran away just to get away from the pain that is already trying to kill me. I do not have enough money to go away, but Simon helped me."Where do you want to go?" Simon asked while I am heaving. I cannot even breathe normally because of the nervousness creeping my whole system."I... I don't know," I said and looked down. "I just want to get away from here."He pat my shoulders. "Go with me."I l
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