CAMILA SILVA I celebrated with my cousin, Ezequiel, entering the dance just the two of us. I even tried to convince my brother otherwise, but he wanted to bring the Salvatore family to enjoy a night out Rio style. As I mentioned before, getting an idea out of Lucas' head is almost impossible.My plans are to enjoy the night without end, just enjoy. I knew I couldn't do this with the constant presence of that family. Especially with him so close to me. With all this in mind, I decided to leave them out of my evening.I made a deal with Ezequiel. We went upstairs without anyone noticing, I changed clothes quickly, replacing my long dress for leather shorts, with a shiny single-front top. I am planning to do even more work than I did yesterday. I don't know when my next valley night will be, so I better make the most of tonight.As she finished getting ready, we went out the back door. I was as careful as I could be, I didn't want anyone to recognize me, I didn't want to run the risk th
CAMILA SILVAFive years. Five years without feeling his lips next to mine, without feeling his hand roaming my body, setting it on fire whenever he touched it.Actually, it was almost six years without him, without this moment. Without feeling his hand squeezing my buttocks eagerly in the middle of the kiss, making the middle of my legs even more eager for his attention.When his mouth rested on top of mine, his tongue asking for passage. I didn't think twice, giving him the permission he so desired, mimicking his act with even greater brutality. At that moment, what was only five years became decades by the intensity of the kiss, by our surrender. I can feel when my heart skipped a beat, simultaneously my whole body shivering when he scratched the back of my neck. In the middle of the kiss, I let out a heavy sigh, taking my hands to his hair, pulling it tight, pulling it back. His beard brushes across my face, making my legs wobbly. It tickled, scratching simultaneously. A good, inte
CAMILA SILVA My buttocks hurt, it feels like they are going to explode at any moment. The middle of my legs, especially, is pure fire. Not in a good way similar to this past dawn, but something burning after an intense night. A good night, the pleasure I felt was something surreal. Such intense orgasms, the way only Ethan Salvatore can give me. He is an asshole, with all the letters of that word and all capital letters. But an asshole who knows how to fuck me like no one else, who knows where to touch me, how to pleasure me.I have to be honest, I missed these moments of ours. I missed the pleasure I feel with him. I missed sex with Ethan.Wait, recap. I went to bed with Ethan?I turn my body to the side, feeling the strong, intense hand that held my waist intensify its grip. Even with a little bit of fear, I open my eyes and find his face calm and serene, sleeping soundly after the early night we had.Not that one, we had an early night.It takes me no less than a few seconds to re
ONE MONTH LATEREthan Salvatore.I let out a yellow smile, spilling the soda down my throat. To accompany this song, the most recommended would be a good glass of whiskey, well describing the situation I am going through.Everyone sees how much I have improved, how much I am improving to be better than before a new Ethan. Anyone who last saw me a month ago no longer recognizes me, because my change has been drastic and that is clear. My definition of a perfect evening, or weekend, is no longer a night out, or being in bed with an unknown woman. What really makes me happy is to be in the company of the most special people in my life, my children and the woman of my life.Even though Camila treats me with such rudeness, running away from me like a cat runs away from water, the time I spend in her presence is special. To be able to admire her beauty, to feel my heart beating fast with every smile. Everything with her, no matter how small, becomes big for the simple fact that it is her; th
CAMILA SILVA Surprisingly, understanding my feelings for Ethan made me better. It allowed some things to finally make sense.Now I understand why butterflies fly through my stomach every time he smiles. I know why a little bump between our skins sets my body on fire. I understand why deep inside I keep seeing it the same way, my body keeps responding similarly to the past, begging for the same to happen again.I still love him. With all the strength of my being, I love him in a way that I can't even explain its intensity and magnitude. In a way that hurts, that hurts much more than I would like to admit. It hurts because I love him and I know that I will never be free to declare, or even live this love.I can say that I understood my body, I understood more of myself when I understood how I feel about him. But I haven't accepted it, I doubt that I will ever be able to accept it. Although they are wonderful sensations, after all, being in love is magical, I don't accept feeling them f
CAMILA SILVA The sea breeze coming through the window kisses my face softly. I close my eyes, letting out a simple smile as the memories take over my memory, but this time without taking away my peace, just bringing with them longing and the desire to experience it all again.Now I not only understand how I feel about Ethan, but I have accepted it. After so long fighting against it, being a hypocrite as my psychologist pointed out, I have accepted it. I am at peace with it, with my feelings, allowing me to feel lighter. I love him and my body declares this love and honestly, there is nothing more beautiful than this feeling.I know that we won't get back to the way we were before, at least not so quickly. We have a barrier that these years away have put between us, a huge abyss that we will have to face if we really want to be together. I have accepted the feeling, but it doesn't mean that in a magic wand everything will be all right.To give freedom to this feeling is to stop being
CAMILA SILVA I winked in Luisa's direction, put my headphones back on, and hurried back to my house. When we get the habit of waking up early it's over, even on our rest day we don't go as late as we would like.I had all the circumstances in my favor. The room was freezing as I like it, with the warmth of Etan's naked body right behind mine, enveloping me in a warm and cozy embrace. Even so, I woke up at half past nine in the morning. With nothing else of interest to do, I decided to go out for a run on the beach, to clear my head.I have a well-established routine, my body already does it involuntarily. I continue running quietly, listening to the wonderful Izzy la reina while watching the ocean waves. Surprisingly I felt lighter than ever, good with myself and my feelings. Accepting my feelings allowed a weight to come off my back, now I no longer have to pretend, I can be honest with myself and what I feel.I let the doorman of my building go, going up to my floor. When I get h
CAMILA SILVA I took a piece of the orange cake, putting it on the plate for Tyler to eat. I opened one of those dino danones that come in the bag, giving one to him and one to Luz. We are all sitting at the dining table, I am in the middle of the twins, helping them as I always do.I cherish these family moments. To have all of them on a Saturday morning, around a bountiful table, being able to eat whatever you want, as many times as you want, makes it all worthwhile. I remember the times, when I was a child, that we barely had an overnight bread with butter. After all, raising triplets, living in a community, was not so easy for my parents."Mama."-- Luz, with her usual sweet and gentle voice, calls out to me."Yes, my princess."-- I keep my attention on my lovely girl, seeing the beautiful smile she has on her lips.Taking me totally by surprise, the little one comes close to me, kissing my forehead and staying on my lap. She moves around a little bit, looking for the most comforta