II. Reveries

Sol

 As usual, I wasn't able to fall asleep.  I keep thinking of how am I going to react when we meet. For 10 years, I did all my might to avoid him at all costs. I did a pretty good job, I guess, not until my dearest best friend decided to get married.

          Of course, he will be the best man and I'm the maid of honor.  It's a given since the bride is her cousin. I tried thinking about excuses I can tell Alvie so I would not need to go back in this place but she threatened me so I had no other option but to agree.

          I'm wearing a loose shirt and long skirt when I went to the rehearsal.  I let my hair down and adjusted my eyeglasses.  I didn't intend to make a scene but Jed and Kollin ran to me.

 I should be running away but my feet got stuck and the last thing I got to say is,

 "Shoot."

 "The fudge, Sol! Bakit ngayon ka lang nagpakita? Saang sulok ka ba ng mundo nanggaling?"  Jedd asked as he shakes me to the point that I almost got dizzy.

 "The earth has no corners, dummy.” Kollin made faces then looks at me gravely, “What's with the outfit? Are you that broken-hearted that you chose to grieve pornever?"  Kollin joked.

 Their reactions made me laugh.

  I hugged both of them then whacked each other on the forehead, hard enough for an act of revenge.

 "You're so thin! Do you even eat?"  Jedd squeezed my wrist, "I told you not to go there, look what happened!"

 I still remember how Jedd and Kollin cried when they learned that we're moving to Korea. 

I didn't tell them and I was surprised when someone shouted my name when I'm already about to board the plane.  They begged me to stay but Zeck told them that we need to go. 

I didn't know that that was the last time I'll see them in the span of ten years.

 "You look better, Sol. Don't listen to that retard."

 I smiled at what Kollin has said.   Kollin introduced his fiancée to me and that they're planning to get married next year.  Jedd is busy with his dance school but I've heard that he likes someone who happened to be his neighbor.

 "Hey!"

 We all glance at Chalk who's walking towards us with his soon-to-be wife, Alvie.  He gave me a bear hug that almost breaks my bones. 

The organizer cuts us and proceeds with the rehearsal.  The best man is not around because according to Alvie, he's still busy with their comeback and there's no assurance that he'll show up.

***

 I pray to God that he won't show up because I don't know if I can look at him in the eyes.  The wound he gave me is already healed outside but deep down in my heart… I can still feel the pain.

 The rehearsal went on, with me, having no partner while walking down the aisle. 

After the long, tiring practice, Chalk, Jedd, Kollin, and Alvie treat me to lunch.  The four collaborated and opened a KPOP inspired restaurant.  They serve Korean, Chinese, and Japanese foods which made me cry.

 "Sawang-sawa na ako sa kimchi, hanggang dito ba naman ito yung ipapakain nyo sa akin?” nanghihina kong tanong habang tinitingnan ng masama yung kimchi na nilagay ni Jedd sa plato ko.

 They all laughed at my reaction.  We talked about what happened in the ten years I was not with them.  Nagkwento sila kung anong nangyari pagkatapos naming mawalang pareho ng pinsan ng Alvie.

It's funny to think that after all that happened, I still have something to come back to.  I still have people who will welcome me home.

"What about life in Korea?" Jedd asked while munching the fermented r****h.

 "Nung una, sobrang hirap. Bestie, walang subtitles."

          Natawa silang lahat sa reaksyon ko. You bring us to a table and don't expect us to behave like we're adults. Ten years had passed, yet, we still talk and act as if we're still those college students who were addicted to KPOP. Hindi naman ako nagbibiro. Lagi kong sinasabi kay Kuya Zeck na isama na nya ako pero halos maiyak ako pagdating ko doon.

 "Alam mo bang gulat na gulat ang lahat nung malaman nilang nagdebut si Nix sa Korea? Akala pa nga ng lahat eh sinundan mo siya doon kaya bigla ka ding nawala."  Alvie said.

 "Hindi ba kayo nagkita doon?"  Jedd asked in astonishment.

          Umiling ako. Nakikita ko siya kahit saan ako magpunta pero ni minsan hindi kami nagkita.

 "As I've said, I was busy fixing my life. It was difficult enough to get into the schools there and I worked hard to get a job. Sobrang gulo ng pamilya ko. Sobrang nagulat ako sa lahat ng nangyari. Idagdag niyo pa yung culture shock. Akala ko kaya ko agad kas nga ‘di ba plano naman talaga natin ‘yun."

 My eyes roam around the place.  Suddenly, my eyes stopped at the picture framed on the wall.  The guys noticed where I was looking.

          "Still remember that? When DDG won the KPOP festival at school."  Alvie smiled as she reminisces what happened in the past.

          The picture was taken when we were in the school field.  Jedd and Kollin pretending to kiss each other, Chalk holding Alvie's hand, and Phoenix, wrapping his arms around me with a heart finger.  I look away to stop the wrenching pain I feel.

          "You know guys, we have to go back to the hotel so that Sol can rest. She still has jetlag."

          I smiled at Alvie who saved me. Korea is not that far and I didn’t even have jetlag.  They took me to my room, but I thought they would just walk me there. 

They welcomed themselves, leaving me no option but to take out all the things I bought for them.

          "Hoy, Board! Magpadala ka dito ng extra na matress at unan, dali!"  Jedd shouted.

          "Bakit hindi ikaw? Ikaw yung malapit sa telepono! What are you, Jedd? You're twenty-nine and you're still stupid!" Alvie shouted back.

They’ve been calling her board since she started dating Chalk.

          I laughed as I listened to them but I stopped when I realized their intention.

 "What is the extra mattress and pillow for?"

 "Oh, diba. Sabi sa inyo si Sol yung bobo eh. Don't you get it? Of course, We'll probably sleep here!"

 I just scratched my head. 

The boys prepared the mattresses on the floor. 

Jedd and Collin put me between them so I couldn't move.  I guess these crazy people are not satisfied yet with our chat in the restaurant because they still asked me to narrate what happened to me in Korea.

          "Pero anong gagawin mo kapag nagkita kayo ni Lawin?"

          Jedd's question shut me up.  This talker didn't change.  Alvie kicked him on the stomach so he screamed.  He was about to hit her back but Chalk blocked him.

          "I hate you! Get out of here," the poor guy complained but we just laughed.

"This is Sol's room, dummy. Why are you kicking her out?" Alvie laughed.

Huminga ako ng malalim tsaka tumitig sa kisame.

          "Honestly, I don't know," I answered.

          I don't know what to do.  I don't even know if I am ready to meet him.