Chapter 5

*Kai's POV*

It's been seven years since Astrid's disappearance. A few months after her disappearance, I tried looking for her but due to my foolishness, I couldn't continue the search.

Every single day that passed, I continued to hate and blame myself for listening to Kathryn in the first place. I shouldn't have listened to her when she told me Astrid was barren, and they had to remove her womb since she had done numerous abortions due to her promiscuous lifestyle.

I believed her then and gave up on the search, but months continued to go by and still Kathryn was yet to conceive.

I had to visit the pack's priestess due to how worried I was and that was when she revealed to me that Kathryn wasn't my mate, so she can't carry my child, only my destined mate can. Astrid.

I became so devastated on hearing the news, and I soon started to regret ever rejecting Astrid in the first place.

I couldn't help but to miss her so much, Astrid has always been the one who understood me and no matter how badly I treated her, she never left my side.

Each passing day, the image of her face continued to torment me. I was constantly reminded of the look on her face when she saw me with Kathryn and how badly I treated her afterward.

I made her life so miserable, I reduced her status to that of a mere servant and did terrible things to her. I don't deserve to live, I shouldn't be alive!

I angrily began smashing everything within my reach.

''Astrid is gone and nowhere to be found now, my mate is gone!'' I screamed as I grabbed a vase and threw it against the wall.

My life has become nothing but miserable, I'm so lost without Astrid, but now everything is just too late.

“It's too late!” I yelled and then I began punching the wall.

My fist was bleeding so bad, but I couldn't care one bit, the pain in my heart was much worse than the physical pain in my hand.

As I was reminded of what I had done to Astrid, I punched the wall even more, crying and screaming in pain and rage.

The door to my room was forcefully pushed open.

“Alpha!” I heard my beta's voice, and then he ran to me and tried making me stop torturing myself.

“What are you doing, Kai! Get yourself together!” Dan yelled as he forcefully dragged me away from the wall.

“Let me go, Dan! Leave me alone, I deserve this, I deserve this! I shouldn't be allowed to live, not after what I did to her, not after what I did to Astrid.” I cried out.

“Do not punish yourself like this, Kai, everyone makes mistakes.” Dan replied softly.

“You don't understand, Dan, you don't understand! This isn't a mistake, what I have done is much worse than a mistake, what I have done is a sin! I've sinned not only against the goddess who paired me with Astrid, I've also sinned against Astrid.”

“How could I have been so foolish, Dan! How could I have been so stupid to hurt the woman who has done nothing but love me with everything she has? Astrid loves me so much, I've been nothing but bad to her, I constantly hurt and abused her, but she never for once, left my side or stopped loving me.”

“What did I do to repay her for all she's done? I went ahead and cheated on her with her own best friend! I not only cheated on her, I rejected her and made her a subject of mockery to everyone in the pack, I made her a servant in her kingdom, and she was constantly mistreated and mocked by everyone! I also contributed the worst to that mockery.” I seethed. “I do not deserve to live, not after what I've done, how do I know if she's still alive? I know nothing of what has happened to her!” 

“If only I hadn't been so foolish to listen to Kathryn and had gone after Astrid, then maybe she would be by my side right now and I wouldn't be this miserable. I'm not concerned with getting an heir anymore, I just want my mate back, I just want Astrid back!” I cried bitterly.

Dan instantly hugged me, and he began patting my back, trying to comfort me.

“I do agree that you were so foolish, you let go of a lovely woman like Astrid just for nothing, I'm not going to say I told you so, but I'm just glad that you've finally realized your mistake. I'll do my best to help you, not only as your beta, but as your best friend too, we can start searching for her again.”

I pulled out of the hug and I shook my head. “It's too late Dan, we don't even know if she's still alive, it's been seven long years Dan, seven years since she left, it's too late to try to change things now.”

“It's never too late Kai, so stop saying that, just believe that we're going to find her, and we will, I don't mind if I'll need to turn the whole world upside down to get her back to you, I'll make sure we locate Astrid, I believe she's still alive because if she isn't, then you would have felt it too.” 

Words couldn't describe how grateful I am to Dan, he was more like a brother to me and has been with me through thick and thin.

He tried warning me against what I was doing to Astrid, but I was just too foolish to heed to the warnings he gave me, and now I was not only regretting it, but also paying dearly for it.

“We should get you resolved.” He made to leave, but I held his hand.

“Thank you so much for everything, Dan, I do appreciate your being there for me.” I said and he smiled.

“No matter how hard-headed you are, I have sworn to always be there for you, it is my duty.” He replied before Leaving.

***

A few weeks after that incident, I was sitting in my study, going through some files, when Dan barged into my office.

“Alpha! You won't believe this.” He said breathlessly.

A frown appeared on my face, for Dan to have simply barged in without knocking, I knew it's something important.

“What are you talking about?” 

“I found her!” He said with a giant smile on his face.

“Found who?” I was confused.

“I've found her…" He trailed to catch his breath.

“I've found Astrid!”

My eyes widened with shock and I instantly stood up.

“What!”