Chapter Four

(FLASHBACK)

I stared down at the test in my hands. Two pink lines. I felt a few tears building up in my eyes. How could this be? I took my pills every day and I made sure we were always protected. Then I thought back to the party, but it couldn't be, right?

"Laney I'm leaving do you need anything?" My mother yelled from the bottom of the steps.

"No ma'am. I'm okay!" I yelled back. I threw the test in the box and grabbed the other two I had taken for good measures. I threw them in the grocery bag and tied them up. I let out a heavy sigh and looked at myself in the mirror. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be real.

I snatched up my phone from the counter and searched the calendar for the exact date of the party.

"One, two, three." I counted back the weeks. I was nearing 4 weeks tomorrow. This was bad, very bad. What the hell am I going to do?

I closed out the calendar and searched for abortion clinics. I used g****e incognito so it wouldn't show up in my search history. It wasn't my ideal situation but I didn't see any other choice. I couldn't raise a child hell I could barely raise myself. I found one that was across town, it seemed like a good facility.

The reviews said the staff was nice and friendly and gentle. They explain everything thoroughly and give you a chance to make all the choices on your own.

I looked up their number in hopes to make an appointment as soon as possible.

"Thank you for calling Upright Medical Center this is Susan. How may I help you?"

I couldn't do this, could I? It was the best thing for me, right?

"Um, yes I was wondering if you accept walk-ins, or do I need an appointment." I started.

"Yes, we do accept walk-ins, but the wait time is usually an hour to two hours long, so we recommend making appointments." The lady answered smoothly.

"Okay, can I make an appointment?" I took a deep breath as I heard her typing away on the keyboard.

"Alright can I have your name and date of birth please."

I gave her the required information as she typed it into her system.

"Would you happen to know how far along you are?"

"I think about a month. Maybe 3 almost 4 weeks."

More typing. After a few more embarrassing questions she was finally able to tell me what I wanted to know.

"Okay Ms. Frost, the earliest time we have is Tuesday, August 28th. Will that be okay?" She asked. I put the phone on speaker and searched through my calendar making sure there wasn't anything else going on.

Shit that was the second week of school. Three weeks away. I guess I didn't have a choice. I could always say I stayed after to scope out clubs and things.

"Um, yes Tuesday sounds perfect. What's the latest time you have?" I opened the schedule and entered the name with just the baby emoji preparing to enter the rest of the details.

"Well we close at 6 so the latest time we have is 4 p.m."

"Will I be able to change that to an earlier time if need be?"

"Yes, you can. I'll send you a text message with a phone number to a company that we work with to help lower the payments. Be sure to get in touch with them and keep a copy of your price with you when you come in. Also, we recommend someone to drive you home afterward to ensure you heal properly."

This is more than I thought. I couldn't bring anyone with me, hell I didn't have anyone to even tell. I'll just have to figure it out later.

"Okay thank you for all your help."

After taking a little more information we finally hung up.

This was it, no one would know I was even pregnant and I can go about my life as if it never happened. I took a deep breath and grabbed the bag and left the bathroom. After making sure I was alone in the house I went out back and tossed the bag of tests in the big garbage bin outside. I made sure to sit the big trash bag that was inside on top in case anyone feels adventurous and looked inside.

I went back inside and washed my hands before getting back to homework.

***

Waiting those three weeks for this appointment was nerve-wracking. It felt like on the first day of school everyone knew what I had planned. I knew it was just my paranoia talking, but it still didn't feel right.

I stood at the bus stop in front of my school checking my phone again for the time; 2:45 pm. The bus was late. It was supposed to have been here ten minutes ago. Luckily I hadn't changed my time at the clinic. Another minute passed and it finally pulled up, packed full to the brim. I climbed on and paid my fair taking a stand behind the driver's seat, holding on to the rail for balance.

Twenty minutes later and we were pulling into the bus terminal where we could switch off to another bus. I looked down at the screenshot of the schedule for my next bus and seen I had just missed one. The next one wasn't coming for another 15 minutes and that would make me late.

I pulled up my g****e maps and put in the address. What would have been a 3-minute drive turned out to be a 15-minute walk. I searched the map for the directions and seen a few shortcuts I could take in hopes of lessening the time. Putting my headphones in my ears I turned my music on and began walking to my destination.

The good thing about riding the bus all the time, you get used to walking a lot. I kept my head up and walked with a purpose. I had one goal in mind and nothing was going to stop me.

I finally made it to the building. They had a small sign just over the door stating who they were. As I got closer I noticed a crowd of people just outside the property line with signs and brochures.

"Give your baby a chance at life!" One woman rushed over to me with a brochure in hand. It had a picture of a fetus curled inside a stomach.

I tried walking around her but she kept blocking my path, shouting things about not killing the baby. When I finally managed to go around her another person walked up to me saying what I was doing was a sin and God wouldn't be pleased.

I couldn't take their insults and pushed past them and ran towards the building. To think you would usually only see stuff like that in movies. It's a lot scarier in real life. There was a security guard standing by the entrance to the driveway waving me over. Once I had gotten close enough he pulled me close and ushered me towards the front door.

"Don't let anyone tell you what you're doing is a bad thing. We all have our reasons." The officer gave me a friendly smile and held the door open for me.

I walked to the front and stood in line waiting for my turn. I took my phone from my pocket and seen I had made it with a few minutes to spare. I took a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart as the line inched forward. Once it was my turn I stepped up to the small glass window.

"I have an appointment at 4." I told the lady. She took my name and date of birth before handing me a clipboard and a form to fill out.

"Fill this out and take it to the next window on your left with your payment."

I walked around in search of an empty chair. I spotted someone getting up and waited to see if they'd return before taking the seat.

I stared down at the form reading each question carefully.

How many pregnancies? One.

How many births? None

How many living children? None

History of substance abuse? None

The questions kept getting more detailed and it freaked me out somehow. I barely knew the answer to most of the basic questions.

Once I had it filled out to the best of my ability I searched my wallet for the confirmation number for the reduced price and my card.

"I was told to bring this over here?" I announced sliding the clipboard through the small hole.

The lady on the other side took it and began typing in all the information.

"All right. Here's a chart with the price listings. Find where you are on the chart and we'll begin payment. Money is non-refundable after this point, should you choose to not go through with the procedure." she explained.

I looked down at the chart 1-6 weeks was only $90. That was way less than I had thought about.

"Here." I pointed to the category and she typed in the information.

"With patience up to 6 weeks pregnant we administer a tiny blue pill to terminate the pregnancy. You will be required to come back in a few weeks for a checkup to make sure all is well. Now how will you be paying?"

"I was given a confirmation number for a lower price, would I still be able to use it?" I asked. It wasn't that I didn't have the money, any chance to lower this price and not draw suspicion would be great.

"Yes, you can." She took the number and calculated everything. "Okay, your new total will be $30."

I took out my card and swiped entering my pin.

"Okay, you're all set. The doctor will call you right away. Just have a seat back out there."

I nodded my head and sat back down watching as more and more people came in. Many you couldn't tell were pregnant others looked like they were too far to get an abortion.

What was the limit in this place?

The side door opened and a nurse stepped out calling a few names to the back. Right before she closed the door you could hear the faint screams of someone else. Instantly my blood ran cold, is that how it's going to be?

What if I had waited even longer, could that have been me?

The door opened once more and a different nurse stepped out.

"Frost, Bailey, Rico, Sanchez, and Evans." That was me, I was up, but now I questioned if I could do this. The lady said it was simple, just a pill and it'll all be over. I felt sick and all I could hear was that lady in the back still screaming.

""Frost, Rico, and Evans."

I stood from my seat and walked out the front door. I couldn't do this. Everything was already eating away at me. I couldn't add another thing to the pile of guilt.

In my haze of panic, I hadn't noticed Riley--Makenzie's best friend--sitting just a few feet away from me.