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Chapter 69
“The last real friend I had… He knew what was going on between Chris and I so he tried to help me, but I was scared.” I tell Luis. “He was a good friend that wanted to help me and get me out of that abuse, but I got scared that in the end I only pushed him away so that he could give up on me.”
“He said that he didn’t mean it.” Elliot cut in and I glanced over at him.
“I know, but still,” I mumbled.
Turning away as I felt like I’ve shared enough and I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to answer any more questions that Luis might ask me. I think I’ve reached to an extent that I just want to close myself off from saying something that might be viewed wrongly or having to go to details that I’m not comfortable enough to do so.
“We still have a bit of time, should we go somewhere? Want to go walking around the pier?” I heard Elliot say.
“No,” I answere
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Don't Touch Chapter 70
I hung up, putting my phone on the side, as I laid down again taking a deep breath, and just tried to clear my mind. For a while, all I heard was my phone ring and I know this time it could be Luis, either trying to call or text me, but I didn’t bother to look at my phone. I reached for my covers to pull it over my face and I honestly wasn’t sure how to feel because it was all just a mixed emotion between frustration, annoyance, disbelief, and more that I don’t want to recall. I laid there for another couple of minutes before sitting up, reached for my keys, as I’m getting out of bed deciding that I’m just going to take a walk. I didn’t want to be alone in the house with these thoughts and I still didn’t want to talk to anyone so I just kept my phone on silent when I stepped outside.I began walking down the block, putting on my headphones, just wanting to be distracted from my thoughts and it seemed like many feet were on autopilot.
Don't Touch Chapter 71
It took me a second to find the strength to get up, he wrapped his arm around me, as he began to lead me to his car. I don’t know what was happening because my head felt heavy and I’ve cried so much that I didn’t even know how I could see where I’m walking. Elliot put the seatbelt on me after getting inside his car and he waited for a second to look me over before getting inside the car driving off towards my house. We got out of the car once we arrived then walked to the front door and he searched through my pockets to grab my keys.“I’m sorry.” I began to say once we’re inside the house.Maybe because I’m back in the comfort of my home that made me able to talk, but my emotions began to build up again like I was trying to catch my breath after running a marathon.“For what?” He asked, making our way to my room.“Of what I said. What I felt and all that was going on in my head. I was
Don't Touch Chapter 72
I closed my eyes as I rested my head back on his shoulder again and he moved slightly as he grabbed his phone to make the phone call. “Hello… yeah, he’s fine now. He says that he needs you… Okay.” Elliot pauses for a second and talks to me now. “She wants to know if you want to go to the hospital?”I can feel my fingers slowly grab his shirt as if desperately making sure that I’m not being pulled away and I shake my head. “I’m not going to do anything, I promise. I don’t want to go so they can force me to stay by myself.”“He says no… I-I know..” He says as he goes back to talking to my mom. “I’m not sure. Okay, I will.”I can feel Elliot lowering his arm as he hangs up and I open my eyes to look at him. “What did she say?”“She’s coming in… Actually, I had already called her when I made my way to the park and she&r
Don't Touch Chapter 73
I didn’t go back inside until I heard his car turned on and I made my way back to my mom’s room laying down beside her pulling the covers over myself. I decided that I wanted to sleep a bit more since it was still early and I believed I slept for another two or three hours when I woke up again and my mom was still laying beside me as she was on her phone.“Mom,” I called her.She put her phone down, “You're finally awake.”“Yeah, about what happened…”“No, there’s no need to tell me. Elliot was able to explain everything that happened and I think I understand what was going on,” she said as she moved to sit up. “You should have told me. When you saw Chris, the panic attacks, or how you were feeling about school or college.”I shook my head, “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I never found a good time or it felt like maybe you wouldn't want to know
Don't Touch Chapter 74
I continued eating until my plate was empty and we spent the rest of the night watching anything that was on television and I got another serving after a while realizing that I was a little more hungry then I thought. At nine, my mom decided to go to bed and I went to bed a little past ten, finally able to go to sleep after an hour of laying in bed. By morning we got ready to head out of the house after having breakfast and it seemed like the only psychiatrist that was available was at the local hospital and it made me nervous just thinking that we still had to go to the hospital in the end. My mom had to do a few paperwork while we waited and gave them our insurance information before they could call me in.I was trying to not be nervous because it’s not my first time meeting a psychiatrist, but it was still unnerving, and played with the rubber band on my wrist hoping the fidgeting can help calm my nerves. It might have taken us almost an hour just waiting to be calle
Don't Touch Flashback 11
My dad didn't see me the rest of the day late at night when he saw my face and assumed that I had gotten myself in a fight so I wasn’t allowed out for a few weeks. He didn't ask how or why I had the bruises aside from his assumption, but I couldn't even bring myself to explain what happened if he did ask. I spent the weekend in my room feeling as if I was hiding myself away and I tried to call Caesar, but he wouldn’t answer my call and Chris only messaged me trying to apologize about his behavior. I wasn’t too sure how genuine his apologizing is and how much of it I can accept at this point. By Monday, I was walking to school when I saw Caesar reaching the front gate and I took a deep breath hoping that he would listen to my apology or hope that he wasn’t too angry as well.“I’m sorry,” I said, walking over towards him.“You didn’t even fucking defend me.” He said once he saw me.“I was scared and
Don't Touch Flashback 12
Weeks passed by, I was laying in bed reaching for my phone after hearing ringing five minutes ago and I saw that I received a message; I hardly get one unless it’s from my dad or it can be Chris checking to see what I was doing. Our conversation never lasts long after a few text messages between each other and the only reason Chris bothers to text me now is because we have summer school together; no surprise we have the same class. It seemed like we were both failing in math, but he was spending more time with me to help him pass the class, and being home more was the only thing that could relax me. I didn’t mind summer school until I walked into the classroom to see Chris sitting there and I felt myself catch my breath feeling like I had no choice but to sit beside him like the day we first met. Chris’s friends weren’t in the class, which made me feel at ease since the bullying, but I still remembered them coming after me during the end of the school year. There were times
Don't Touch Chapter 75
My mom had to stop by the front desk again before we could leave and I thought about everything that we talked about during our session. I thought about all that Dr. Brown said and I wondered about the word ‘high functioning anxiety’ and her explanation of the possible suicidal tendencies. We went to the pharmacy as my mom put in the order for the medication prescription and I walked around the store trying to distract myself while we waited. I came across a large three-section notebook and I reached out to grab it to take it with me. After some time, we finally left the store and while we sat in the car my mom was looking over the new medication that was prescribed: Benzodiazepines.“I don’t think I’ve heard of this word before…” she mumbled.I reached for my phone and googled the medicine. “It says it's to relax and ease chronic anxiety disorder… Side effects can be dizziness, headaches, and nausea.” I rea
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