Prologue

Ryu ties her Converse, staring at the grass beneath her feet, the due over the soft greenery and the fresh smell that envelopes her senses. There's a backpack hanging from her shoulders. Once the lace of the shoes is tied tightly into a bow, she leans back up from her crouching position.

She takes her surroundings. She's sitting in a garden, on a bench. It looks strangely familiar. It stretches too far to be a garden but at the same time–

Ah.

It's his home.

This is the area beneath Minjun's apartment, the garden that stretches too wide. Strange, there are kids playing soccer at very far of the land.

Is it her campus ground? No, it can't be. This is Minjun's home, she can remember it as vividly as possible. She looks behind her to see the building that Minjun owns, his home. It's there, standing proud in all its might.

She doesn't understand why people from her college are playing at Minjun's home. It's stupid, it makes her laugh.

It's peaceful.

Nothing hurts.

Ryu leans back on her arms and sighs, letting the comfort wash over her. She closes her eyes, letting the sun's warmth penetrate her skin until she feels sunkissed, and smells like sunshine. She kicks her legs idly, when she opens her eyes next, she sees a bunch of her campus students staring at her openly as if she's someone of interest. Someone to gossip about.

Ah, that feels familiar too.

"You're pretty even here."

Ryu's lips stretch into a grin at the familiar voice.

Her heart wrenches and suddenly she feels breathless. She feels it now, warmer than the sun's rays are his body's heat beside hers, clawing at her in the form of currents until she is nothing but a hurricane of powerful emotions.

Shit, this too, is familiar.

There goes her heart, running for its life. Thrumming so hard she feels like it'll break her rib cage. Her skin prickles and it's only after much practice that Ryu had learned to not give anything that she's about to do or say a second– or in this case– a hundred thoughts before. Not with him.

Been there, done that.

Got on the verge of losing her shit.

Won't happen again.

But that's the thing–

As many times she keeps on reminding herself that, he too, is just a human. She just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's here and he's hers. All hers. When the entire world was trying to prove it otherwise– fuck, she was trying to prove it otherwise.

A motherfucking jackpot, to say the least.

She turns to him and for a second, she forgets how to breathe. It's hard to wrap her head around a lot of things when she's with him. Like how beautiful he is, so beautiful that it defies all rules of humanity.

It's like he popped out of her phone screen and now she can feel and touch.

He's gorgeous this way.

He's gorgeous when he's real and right in front of her.

But he's gorgeous all the time.

Ryu sighs.

She runs her gaze along his features because no amount of time will be enough to take him in. The eyebrows, the straight bridge of his button nose, the plump lips. Then, of course, his cheeks that she would trade the world for.

It's unfair.

Because every day she thinks that this is the most she can love him but he always proves her wrong. Because they'll grow old and one day she'll be full of so much love, she'll combust.

It's unfair.

To be this beautiful.

But for now.

His eyes are deep brown, which means he's not wearing his lenses. And his black hair is tousled everywhere. Just like that time–

The thing is,

He's not an average-looking human. As much as anyone could fool themselves into believing that he looks like a god just on screen due to makeup, it's not true. His lips are as soft as they look, she's felt it. His jawline is as sharp and his skin is as smooth. His nose is as straight as it looks on the screen.

And that's the most dangerous thing.

Was, at least.

Now she's noticed too much.

The way his eyes are puffy the next morning if he cries the previous night. The way his skin breaks out if there's a climate change due to travelling to another country. The way he whines if his cheeks get too puffy or– or if he loses a little too much weight.

He looks human now.

Not to other people though.

The people who are gawking shamelessly from across the park.

To them, he's still Park Minjun.

The unapproachable superstar.

And that's when she realises–

He's all she has.

And then suddenly, it's not about how handsome he is anymore. It's not about his looks.

It's all about the smile he's giving and the vibrations she's feeling just because he's near and how she's missed him. Him. Not his face, not his body. Him. His warmth.

It's about the message he wants her to read through his eyes and it's about all the moments they've spent together and all the moments they've lost.

Suddenly, Ryu feels like crying. Her throat is scraping as she feels overwhelmed and her eyes well up with tears. She doesn't want those tears. They blur up her sight and then she can't look at him.

She wants to–

No, fuck.

She needs to look at him.

"Where have you been?" She whispers, and not because she means the words. But because she can't find her voice anymore, lost amidst the heaviness of her emotions. "I've missed you, where have you been?"

"Oh," he says, his smile faltering. No, no don't stop smiling. She feels like begging him. She thinks she will need a millennium to be just pressed against him.

"I died."

He did, didn't he?

Fucking idiot.

"Then I won't go back."