4. Virginity

The days went by smoothly and Mr. Ford, easily vanished from my life, as if he never existed. We moved into a big apartment just like my brother wanted and I continued working as a sex worker.

But nothing was easy, entering into the murkiness, I found him sitting on the chair.

Apathetic. Unbothered. Alluring.

Green eyes, pretty face, ugly heart, no- no heart at all.

“Have I for once, tried to force you?” It was kept completely confidential that he was arriving since I would’ve said no.

“Relax, I’m just here to talk.” He stood up, his heels meeting the floor, a tall man, too tall to eat up the distance between us in milliseconds.

“It’s benefitting you in so many ways, why are you denying it? You can get your loan paid in an instant, your brother can live in peace plus, you won’t have to sleep around with so many people. Touching STD’s and whatnot.” Sure… if only that was my concern.

“What’s benefitting you from this? Why are you being kind to a prostitute like me?” I pushed him away; he pursed his lips thinking for a while and kept on smirking at me.

“Do you want to make your boss angry?” His hands brushed on my ear slightly hitting the spot, the unwelcomed emotions devoured me before I could comprehend and felt my eyes shutting down like a broken computer.

I had lost control over my desires that were now spiraling out into hot waves of lust and hunger. The rest is just an excuse, this is what I’m afraid of, this feeling of avariciousness, desires and lewdness that my body drowns in, it’s all because of him.

“You’ll wither just by me licking your body, why are you resisting…” I didn’t feel him growing nearer but now that he was close, my body burned from places he touched.

Places that shouldn’t be touched.

His tongue on my neck, licking every part of me. Withstanding the urge to strip naked and let him grab my throat, choke me, spank me, even murder me with haunts of hunger and want, I halted.  

I tightened my fist trying my best to stand firm while my legs were becoming weak.

“What’s the difference, you can still have sex with me if you want to.” Working as his sex partner would make me miserable since I won’t have any place to hide. I can hide here between various scents of men because, if I give in… I’ll fail. I’ll fail my past self who vowed to take revenge on these horny bastards.

“You like sleeping with different men?” His pupil dilated, his veins popping out as he pinned me against the wall.

The coldness of the paint on my cheeks didn’t make me numb to the heat of his body pressing against mine. He bit my skin, is he angry?

“That’s my job” I still replied, my hands grabbing the wall in front of me to stay put.

“You don’t have to do this… I’ll pay you more than that, there’s no point, why are so declining this offer?”

He seemed desperate, but my intuition was screaming, telling me how wrong it is to be around him. My body started to ache for him, this is lethal and deadening and atrocious and covetous.

I snapped and turned around to push him away.

“I’m declining this offer because I don’t want to have sex with you.” I propelled him back breathing heavily, my heart trying to make its way out of my body that it swelled to debauch my insides.

“Really? Your body says otherwise…” He drew his lower lip between his teeth, his hands on my chin lifting my face.

“Little bird, sex with me can be fun but, exotic when you get paid for it.” He bit my lower lip.

My eyes closed mechanically sending me to a different universe. An appalling door to a realm opened and my body shuddered under his pressure. I quickly followed not because of instincts but because I wanted it too like I was craving for it more than anything. Craving for something I had never known, but now that it came into existence, I couldn’t let go of it.

He pushed me onto the bed brutally, making the bed angry and it creaked. His hands touched the buttons and he moved down, slow and measured and ambushing, weird vibrations running all over my body, I halted.

Those hands, faces, my scream under their laugh.

I got down from the bed trying to escape, I don’t think I can do this. Not with him. My skin froze with trepidation and failure wrecked me.

“I can’t let you go now…” He hastily grabbed my hand, before I could step out.

This is where his kindness ends, and the chaos begins now, when the humans in flesh turn into monsters just for this one thing, sex.

“Hey, breathe…” I couldn’t even realize I was panicking.

My head felt dizzy as if I was losing it, black dots appeared before my eyes. All the trauma ran back inside me again. My breathing getting heavier and my heart twisted into a tight knot.

“Stop it… don’t do it… don’t do this…” I cried and fell into his arms, cataleptic.

“Grace… meet me in the sports room, today.” My boyfriend Archie beamed with happiness as I nodded in agreement. I was not born a prostitute, but the situation made me one.

A fourteen-year-old girl lives in a world of fantasy, where she thinks that there’s a prince somewhere who’s looking for his Cinderella. A prince who will do anything for his princess. That girl was me and my prince was him, Archie.

The son of the rich businessman, Marcus Crimson, and the next successor of the big company, MC Entertainment.

One of the biggest advertising companies where my father worked under his father as his secretary.

“You’re here?” I turned at the sound of the door locking, I ran into his arms. This love was possible, both our parents knew each other, we had a shot and our story won’t turn out like Romeo and Juliet.

“I talked to my dad, and he said I can marry whoever I want once I grow up, and I plan on marrying you, Grace…” His words sounded like heaven even though I wasn’t fully aware of what the word marriage meant.

“It’s my birthday tomorrow, what are you going to give me, my love?” He was four years older than me, my senior I met just by coincidence.

“What should I give you?” I kept on thinking and placed my thumb on my chin. All sorts of gifts gushed in my tiny brain and...

“How about your virginity?” The darker and unexpected words came out of his mouth, and his hands grew nearer, and they felt like a wizard casting a spell on me. He groped me, his hands were around my body, and he pulled me closer. My eyes battling between crying and dying. He continued kissing my neck, I felt this surge of sensation around my body like my head was going to explode.

He disdained my honor, my love and my heart, with those filthy words, and I couldn’t even yelp.

Love became a word with lust as its shadow.

Two syllable, dreadful and murderous.

He slid his hands inside my skirt removing my panty, I didn’t know what it was but, only felt uneasy as someone invaded my private parts.

Parts that I hid from my father saying, ‘I can bathe myself; I’ve grown up now’. He touched them, he touched me.

He broke all the buttons on my shirt and I couldn’t seem to recognize him. “S---stop…” I blubbered in pain.

“Hey! What are you doing?” We got startled at the sudden voice, I looked up to see a man, help, and safety in its true form.

Relief surged through my veins knowing I could breathe now. “Mr. Eden… please help me…” I pushed Archie away trying to keep myself hidden in the torn pieces of clothes.

“Get lost before I report you…” Mr. Eden was our math teacher, he scared Archie away. “Come here…” He embraced me in a hug while I was crying terribly. His hands rubbing my back, carefully, carelessly, ruthlessly, lethally, and his hands groped my ass. He pinned me against the wall, his hands swirling all over my bare body.

He yanked my clothes off, exposing me to the filthy thoughts invading in his mind.

“Sir… w---what are you doing.” He tied my hands with skipping ropes thumping my body on the pool table. I tried to run away but couldn’t match the strength of a thirty-five-year-old man.

“Be quiet or I’ll report you for doing dirty things in the premises.” He taped my mouth, and ripped my bra off my body, touching my breasts and biting them, eating them, licking them. Doing things, I couldn’t comprehend, and death became my only prerequisite. He forced himself, thumping his length inside me.

His every pound broke my inside and I cried in pain, I felt myself burning up and saw blood, it scared me even more and I sniveled as he kept on penetrating inside my hole. I lost consciousness and found myself lying like a dead body.

A dead body… with a faint heartbeat.

“Grace… Grace…” Another figure walked towards me. My body was in pain that I could barely lift myself.

“A---Archie, help me…” I didn’t know whose saint or Satan; everyone hides behind a mask so all appeared too same.

“You couldn’t even give me your virginity.” He removed his pants, rage filling his eyes and he slapped me.

I died the moment he did so, and instead of showing humanity, he became my worst nightmare.

He slid his dick inside me, my eyes watered as I lay in that place. I lost track of time, my mind crushing beneath my shrieks. Only this morning, I was happy running around smiling and that appeared to be urban now.

It wasn’t how I imagined it to be, all I could feel was agony, and saw death. Like I was a public toilet people were using. I couldn’t even cry suitably from my dried throat.

“You’re too beautiful but too dirty to become my girlfriend… my love.” He choked me.

His nails were inside my skin but I got numb to the pain, my body not feeling as if I even have a vagina. The sun set and it got dark, I stood up from the table only to see my blood all around. I puked, all over the place and my clothes.

Two doors to exit but I forgot the way, two doors to life and death but I could choose nothing.

I walked out of the school, my steps slow since the pain started to trigger, my eyes getting blurry and I was losing my vision. I somehow got home. My mother waited with a rolling pin in her hand, her usual activity.

Rather favorite one.

“I’m back…” I teared up with a smirk and saw the color on my parent’s faces fading, the pin fell from her hand as she came towards me and I collapsed on the ground.