The Memories

"I thought you would be a priest forever for me, it turns out you have a makmum besides me."

January 2019

"Sister, try to call Shabir, why is it that eight o'clock hasn't arrived yet. The head of the KUA has asked him, he said if it's still far away, he wants to go to Bale first because you have to have your friend's contract."

Haziya nodded as she took out her cell phone from the small bag that was placed on the table. Her face has been made up since she finished the morning prayer. Shabir's delay in going to KUA worried him, although he tried to be calm, his mind was already far away. Remembering last night they had a short fight. In his heart he kept on praying for ease.

Could Shabir cancel that holy intention? He had tried to call twice, only the operator's voice could be heard.

"How are you, Dick?" Shukri asked again. Haziya's shake of the head was enough to tell her without having to answer.

"Well, we'll just have to wait," said Shukri, then entered the room next to him to inform the Head of KUA.

"Relax, don't worry too much about the make-up fading," advised Lidya, her sister who faithfully accompanied her in the waiting chair in front of the ceremony room.

Haziya pulled a smile, her eyes glanced at the two old people who were sitting not far from her place. Her mother's face looked nervous.

***

"Yes, thank God!"

Gratitude filled the ceremony room. Haziya wiped her tears before greeting her legal husband.

After waiting for two years, they unite after Shabir recites the sacred contract. Haziya's heart had been pounding since Shabir and his family had arrived fifteen minutes ago, at ten o'clock exactly. He kept many questions that bothered his mind, immediately entered the ceremony room so that the marriage contract process could begin as soon as possible.

"Congratulations," greeted Haziya's relatives and friends who accompanied her. It wasn't that she was relieved, but Haziya's heart was pounding harder and harder.

Marriage is the beginning of a new life. Haziya was really happy after Shabir recited the consent, but her doubts were getting worse. Will she be able to be a good wife for Shabir?

"Be an obedient, patient and qanaah wife." Haziya always listened to what her mother said.

"Dara baroe, don't frown. Smile." Lidya gently nudged Haziya who was pensive while waiting for the photographer to direct some poses.

Check it out! Check it out!

"Closer, Bang Shabir holds Sis Haziya's hand. Yes, I see. Smile."

Check it out!

***

June 2020

"Sis, are you really going to burn it?"

Haziya nodded weakly at the pile of documents and photo albums in front of her.

"He just remarried, why do I keep all the memories of him?"

Lidya did not answer, deliberately turned her back on her brother and pretended to be looking for something. His heart was so hurt when he saw Haziya's sad face since half a year. The blue sky, which was often his shady place, turned dark without a moon. The butterfly in his eye had died sucking the poison in the thorn stalk.

It feels like just yesterday they celebrated one year of marriage. The happy laughter had faded and scalded in tears. Now, time seems to be running slowly. Trying to forget, in fact every memory is still so clearly etched in the memory even though it has been erased.

There were no goodbyes, let alone the word divorce that Shabir had spoken for her, but the man so easily ruined his blue sky. The man who once warmed her with affection was willing to share blankets for other bodies. In fact, Shabir married a widow with two children and now makes him a lonely widow.

"Okay, let me take it to the backyard." Lidya stuffed Shabir's related items into a box, then she immediately headed to the back of the kitchen to burn them all.

Haziya was unable to see all of her with Shabir being black dust devoured by the fire. He chose to stay in his room. While both parents were not at home, Haziya ordered Lidya to destroy it immediately before father and mother came home.

"Where are you going brother?" Lidya asked surprised when she saw Haziya coming out of the room. Lidya just finished burning all the memories.

"Just a moment, later when mom comes home just tell me you want to go to Miska's house." Lidya couldn't stop herself, she couldn't bear to see the gloom on Haziya's face. Maybe often playing with friends can drive away the clouds a little. The rain that had been in Haziya's eyes for so long had subsided, the bags under her eyes were getting worse. Although Haziya often forces a smile in front of her family, as a younger sibling she can share the bitterness in Haziya's life.

Being a widow at a young age is not something to be proud of. Lots of ridicule from neighbors. The wound left by her husband plus the insults from people's scorn, made Haziya lose her zest for life. However, the support from his family and friends has been an encouragement that has colored his blurry days.

This is the fate that she must live, not her will to become a widow. Haziya had tried to keep their marriage alive. However, what was planned and dreamed of was not as beautiful as expected.

Haziya prefers to separate from Shabir than to be polygamous, to be a wife who is neglected after Shabir marries another woman who already has a child.

Haziya will soon take care of their divorce papers, she will ask her husband's Faskh. Waiting for the man to say talak was futile, because several times Shabir said he would not divorce him. Meanwhile, now Shabir has recited the sacred promise again with another woman's name.

"Where are you going, Ziya?" Neighbors asked questions when Haziya was about to start the motorcycle.

"To a friend's house, Wak," answered Haziya politely, although she often found Wak Halim and her friends gossiping about themselves on the terrace of the chocolate house, Haziya tried to act as usual, pretending not to know anything.

"His friend has a perforated widow, doesn't he?"

"What, Wak?" Haziya asked again because her hearing wasn't very clear after wearing the helmet.

"Do you have a perforated widow at your friend's house?" shouted Wak Halim's friend, interspersed with laughter.

"They say a pot costs up to a hundred million per hole, you know. One leaf costs fifteen million, who knows your friend has one, just ask for a leaf."

"Isn't it crazy, the price of a perforated widow is so expensive, let alone the price of a widow now?"

"Oh, flowers huh, Wak? I'll try to see later, but it looks like he doesn't have flowers at home because they like to raise fish," explained Haziya, remaining calm, not wanting to be disturbed by the sarcasm of her neighbors.

"It's okay, Sis, just go, it's going to rain and thunder again, I'm afraid Brother will be hit by the thunder of doom!" Lidya shouted at the door, the mothers suddenly fell silent.

"Oh yes, Sis, if there is a neighbor's tongue flower, you don't have to take it home, no one will buy it, it's not worth it, it's better to give it to the nirvana fish," continued Lidya, deliberately heating Wak Halim and his friends.

"Don't forget to pick up the clothesline, sis. Brother go first, assalammualaikum," said Haziya, immediately driving the motorbike.

"Waalaikumsalam, be careful, Sis."