Chapter 1

A massive silence welcomed my morning as my feet lead me to the ground. The cold wind brushed my naked feature. It is in the 20th day of December and my family planned a vacation for Christmas celebration here in States. My brother wasn’t with us because he had some load of works and he will be celebrating with his fiancée’s family here on United States too but we are too far.

I heard that my Mom and her long-distance friend had the chance to see each other after many years of being away. As a supportive husband, my father agreed to spend our holidays here. Probably because the husband of my mother is also a dear friend to him. I couldn’t keep up with their excitement because first of all, I don’t have any person there to acquaint. I am not used to introducing myself to a complete stranger.

“Dear, enter first,” pag-aaya sa akin ni Mom sa sasakyan.

She must probably notice my boredom here since earlier. I want my soft mattress but it is not here so I can’t lay my body down. It is exhausting to travel around 19 hours. I am not a fan of long travels even if we fly yearly to different countries.

I tightly smiled at her before doing what she suggested. Mabuti lamang ay ilang minuto lamang kaming naghintay para sa sasakyang susundo sa amin papunta sa villa ng kaibigan nila. I think, Mom mentioned before that their villa is near the sea. So, much probably, we will have our mini summer getaway for this month kahit na last September pa ang huling buwan ng tag-init dito.

Tahimik lamang ako habang nasa biyahe. Dalawang oras ang bibilangin para makapunta kami sa Anna Maria Island mula sa Orlando, Florida. Mostly, private properties are only allowed in that Island because it is protected by rich families and the government to preserve its beauty, so, I am not worried about the crowd.

A sweet voice woke me up from my sleep. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako sa biyahe dahil sa pagod.

“Wake up, honey. Nandito na tayo,” pag-aaya sa akin ni Mommy.

Dali-dali naman ako umayos ng upo at sinundan si Mama palabas ng sasakyan. Ang tanging nasa isip ko na lamang ay ang bagahe at kamang naghihintay. I am too tired to observe my surroundings.

Bumungad sa harap ng bahay bakasyunan ang isang ginang kasama ang asawa nito na kasing-edaran ng aking mga magulang. I guess, they are the one who invited us.

“Shie,” masigasig na pagtawag ni Mama sa kaibigan.

“Nicole,” pagbabalik nito ng pagbati.

Hindi napigilan ng dalawang lalaking matawa dahil sa mga asawa. Kung umakto ay para pa ring nasa pangkat pa ng kabataan. Nagkumustahan pa na animo’y hindi sila magkausap kahapon bago kami umalis ng bansa.

“Hi, Dear. You must’ve be exhausted from the flight,” pagbabati sa akin ni Tita Shie matapos niyang kausapin si Mommy. Napansin niya ata na kanina pa ako naghihikab dito.

Laking pasasalamat ko nang imbitahan niya na kami papasok. May tinawag siya mula sa itaas para tulungan kaming mag-akyat ng bagahe tungo sa aming tutuluyan.

“Ry, anak. Baba ka muna. Ze needs accompany.”

Tumambad sa hagdan ang isang matangkad at matipunong lalaki, making me stop at my track. My heart aches for the unknown reason. It started to pound harshly within my body, almost wanting to get out of its shelf. My mind went blank, only filling with his image right now.

Help. I think, I need to see a doctor.

Kasing puti ng perlas ang kutis nito na binagayan ng makakapal na kilay, tsokolateng mata, matangod na ilong at mapupulang labi.

He looked so mature than my age. Though he is just a year older than me, his physique says he is more than his usual age. Don’t ask me why I knew that. My mother and his unusually kept on talking about him in front of me.

Napapansin ko na parang kidlat ang pagpapalit nila ng paksa tuwing malalapit ako sa kanila. Kadalasan ay pinag-uusapan nila ang plano nila Tita Shie na mamalagi sa Pinas pagkatapos ng training ng panganay na anak nito sa Flying School. Ayaw ko mang makinig ay parang pilit nila iyong ipinaparating sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung sadya na biglang lalakas ang boses nila kapag papalapit ako sa iPad o gano’n talaga iyon.

Akmang kukuhanin niya ang bagahe nila Daddy ngunit tumanggi ito kaya ang sa akin na lamang ang kinuha niya. Wala na akong lakas para tumanggi dahil hindi ko rin naman kayang bitbitin iyon sa hagdan kaya hinayaan ko na siya.

“Ze, follow him. I know that you’re tired, so, you could get some rest,” pagtatawag sakin ni Tita Shie. Tipid na ngiti lamang ang binigay sa kaniya at sumunod na sa anak nito.

Tuloy-tuloy lamang akong naglalakad sa likod nito habang nakatungo sa sahig kaya nauntog ako sa likod nito nang bigla siyang huminto sa tapat ng isang silid.

“Sorry,” I apologized.

“That’s okay. Do you want me to take your luggage on the walk-in closet or beside your bed?” He ask in gentle manner despite of his rough voice.

I asked him to take it already on the walk-in closet and thank him for the hand. I am not a fan of travelling. Not caring his presence, I walked straight up to the bed and lay my human body to have some sleep.

Hindi ko namalayan na kinaumagahan na ako nagising. Naputol ang aking mahimbing na pagkakatulog nang marinig kong kumatok at tawagin ako ni Mommy para mag-almusal. Hindi muna ako gumalaw ng ilang minuto upang i-proseso ang aking utak ng maayos.

Nang maisipang ay dumiretso na ako sa banyo upang maligo at makapagpalit. Ngayon ko lang na napagtanto na hindi pala ako nakapaglinis ng katawan kahapon dulot ng pagkapagod. I picked a white fitted long sleeve partner with pants and sweater for my clothes. Matapos magbihis mula sa walk-in closet ay lumabas na ako upang hanapin ang kanilang kusina.

Malaki ang bahay na ito. Bagama’t simple ay sumasalamin pa rin ito sa karangyaan nilang pamumuhay. Mula sa katotohanang ito ay kanila lamang nilang bahay-bakasyunan, hindi nito iniaalis ang titulo mula sa mga nakakaangat.

Bahagya akong napatalon sa gulat nang bumukas rin ang tapat na pinto ng aking tinutuluyan. Inilabas niyon ang lalaking tumulong sa akin kahapon. Tipid niya akong nginitian at sumabay sa aking paglalakad. It is unfair for everyone to look fresh even if it is visible to my eyes that he had just woke up with his ruffled hair and pyjamas on.

“Good morning,” pagbati nito.

“Good morning!” I greeted him back. Hindi ako marunong makisama sa mga hindi kakilala kaya nanatili akong tahimik matapos ng batian. Sinundan ko lamang siya hanggang sa makarating kami sa kanilang hapag-kainan.

Masayang nakikipag-usap ang aking mga magulang kila Tita Shie, hindi man lamang nila napansin ang aming presensya na parating sa kanilang kinaroroonan. Too busy to watch them, I jolted from shock when an image showed beside me. It was their youngest daughter. She’s 15, I think.

Kahit na alam ko ang kanilang mga pangalan ay sa tingin ko, wala pa rin akong Karapatan na tawagin sila sapagkat hindi pa kami nagkakaroon ng pormal na pagpapakilala. Her aura screams light and joy. Someone hyperactive. And someone hard to keep up since I was the opposite. She smiled lightly at me before offering her hand, making me confused. Does she me want me to give her something? For seconds, I stared at her.

“Hi, ate Ze! I’m Leeyah. Nice to meet you!”

Doon ko lamang napagtanto na nais niyang magpakilala.

“Ze. Nice to meet you,” ngumiti ako sa kaniya pabalik at kinuha ang kamay nito.

“That guy is my brother. I bet, you knew already his name?” Tumango lamang ako bilang sagot.

Matapos ang pagpapakilala ay inaya na kami nila Mommy na kumain ng almusal. Katulad ng kanina, sila lang rin ang madalas magkausap dahil halos ata buong buhay namin ay napag-usapan na nila noong nakaraan.

“Ze, you are almost at the last year of college. May plano ka ba after mong makapagtapos?” Pagtatanong ni Tito Dani, marahil ay napansin ang aking pagkatahimik.

“I was planning to take Master’s Degree po while working at our company. Since I will start from the bottom, I think, I will have enough time po for studying.”

Matagal ko na iyong gusto. Ang magkaroon ng Master’s, at the same time, nagtra-trabaho. My background from the office might help me to know and study each position’s work. Noon pa man, hindi kami hinahayaan nila Daddy na masanay sa karangyan. He would gladly took us at the bottom and let us raise ourselves.

Malaking ngiti ang iginawad sa akin ng matanda. Kahit na nasa 50’s na sila ay hindi pa rin maikakaila ang bakas ng kakisigan noong kabataan.

“That’s a good idea. Malaking tulong ang Master’s Degree para sa pag-promote sa iyo,” pag-sang ayon niya sa akin.

Right. From the fact that I will be starting at the lowest, credentials are definitely big help for promotion. Minsan, hindi na lamang sa tagal binabase ang pag-angat kundi ang pinag-aralan mo. For Philippines, academic is everything. In order to get a decent job, you have to finish a degree or atleast high school graduate.

It’s been awhile for them to have a long conversation, making our breakfast roll up to 2 hours. As much as I want to go outside and roam around, it is rude to leave them on the table. Nagulat ako nang ayain ako ni Leeyah matapos ang umagahan na libutin ang kanilang bakuran. She must’ve sensed my boredom and wanting to free from the space.

“You are a year younger than my brother, right?” Tumango ako kay Leeyah bilang sagot. Nasa dalampasigan kami ngayon. Nasa likod lamang ng kanilang bakuran ang dagat kaya madali lamang itong puntahan. Ry helped his sister to set-up a sun lounger. Matapos no’n ay bumalik na ulit siya sa kanilang teresa. Hindi ko alam ang kaniyang ginagawa ngunit abala ito sa iPad.

“Are you usually quiet? I mean, kasi ate, napapansin ko na sobrang tahimik mo.”

I casually laughed at her observation.

“Nagsasalita lang ako kapag kinakausap. Hindi ko alam kung paanong mag-open ng conversation. Alam ko man pero hindi ko kayang maunang magsaita,” I answered her sincerely.

“So, pati sa friends mo?” She asked curiously. She could pass as a reporter. Marunong siyang magmani-obra ng usapan. Which I sometimes envy.

“Kapag kasama ko sila, feeling ko madaldal na ako. But just because they have always been encouraging me to speak up kaya palagi nila akong kinakausap.”

“Kahapon, I thought, you were the masungit type. Like, ang tipid mong ngumiti!” She exclaimed. Naiiling na natatawa ako sa kaniya. I find her cute while spitting words. Halos lahat ata ng salita niya ay may aksiyon.

“No, it’s just that I was dead tired. I am not a fan of long travels. And, kahit na socially awkward ako, I had never felt it with your family.”

Tuwang-tuwa siya sa narinig at nagsimula na muling mag-bahagi ng kwento. Napansin ko na pati sa kaniya, halos ang nakakatandang kapatid ang laman. Napapaisip tuloy ako kung sadya ba ito o nagkataon lamang.

Bumalik lamang kami sa loob nang makapananghali. Pagkatapos kumain ay umakyat muna si Leeyah upang magpahinga. Sabi niya ay sanay siyang matulog tuwing tanghali kaya baka hindi niya ako masamahan mamaya. I appreciate her effort about making me comfortable and accompany to make my time occupied.

“Nako, nagpuyat lang ’yan kagabi kaya matutulog mamaya,” pagbibiro ni Tita Shie sa bunsong anak. Kiming ngumiti lamang ang dalaga sa kaniya at nagpaalam nang pupunta sa kwarto.

Tumungo ako sa kanilang salas upang magpahinga. Inilabas ko ang telepono upang kausapin ang kapatid. Nakalimutan kong kumustahin siya kahapon pati na ang mga kaibigan ko. I maybe the quiet type of person but I have friends. Three loud persons are enough for me to handle outside home.

Nang buksan ko ito, bumugad sa akin ang text ni Kuya kung nakadating ba kami ng maayos.

To: Kuya:

Yes. I’m sorry, I just got to read your message. I was exhausted from the flight yesterday.

I checked if my friends were online but none of them were. Marahil siguro lahat kami ay abala. Si Yna at Shan—isang kambal, ay nasa Greece. Habang sa La Union naman si Kyla. I turned off my phone and decided to go to the shore. The view was relaxing and enticing, that’s why I would love to hangout there.

Naabutan kong nakaupo roon si Ry, making me hesitant to go near him.

Should I go next to him or not? It might ne awkward for the two of us.

No. It should be not, right? I just claimed earlier that I am comfortable with their family. I am sure that he had heard it.

After battling my inner self, my mind suggested to do what I’ve planned before hand.

Marahan akong umupo sa lounger katabi ng inookupa ni Ry.

“Hey,” he acknowledged my presence.

“Ah, I hope you don’t mind, me sitting here,” alanganin kong saad sa kaniya.

“It’s okay.”

An awkward silence fill our space. Unable to find a word to start a comfortable conversation with him. Okay. I’m taking it back. I am not really comfortable with each of them.

“So,” pag-aagaw niya sa akin ng atensyon. Itinabi niya ang telepono at iPad na gamit kanina sa gilid para ibigay sa akin ang buo niyang paningin.

He looks like the type of person who is welcoming yet serious. I can sense that he is gentleman but hard to approach. To the point that you will be hesitant to greet.

“Next school year will be your last, right? I hope, I did not creep you out. It’s just that my Mom would love to speak loudly about you when I am around,” maagap niyang pagpapaliwanag sa akin kahit hindi pa ako nakakasagot sa kaniya.

“Yes. And no. Napapansin ko rin sila Mommy regarding that. I can sense their low-key pairing,” natatawang saad ko. I can’t help but to laugh with them. It is just too funny how obvious they were. Natawa na rin ito habang nakatanaw sa kalmadong dagat. Maybe reminiscing our parents’ doing.

“I’m curious. Mommy mentioned that you are already graduated, yet you are just a year older than me.”

Bigla kong naalala yung usapan kanina sa tanghalian. He has still a year to finish his flying hours, and already graduated business a year ago.

“I was an accelerated student, that’s why.”

I couldn’t help but to amaze. He will be graduating for the second time around next year. It is normal for me to meet genius people, but in him… it screams perfection.

“Ah. You must be too gifted,” tumango-tango pa ako, ipinapakitang naiintindihan siya.

Nahihiya naman niyang itinanggi iyon. I thought, he will be laughing at it and use it as a compliment because he seemed to become too confident but I was wrong. He insisted that he is just too blessed to be able to skip a year.

We fell to an awkward silence. I can sense his restriction in refraining himself to ask more.

“How’s school?” That was the dumbest question I’ve ever asked. I mean, there are many options to start a topic but when it comes to him, my mind is filled with spaces.

Mariin akong napikit upang ibalik ang kahihiyan. Tatanungin ko ba naman ang pag-aaral niya kung bakasyon ngayon. Laking pasasalamat ko nang maagap siyang sumagot sa akin. Atleast, I have redeemed myself from my own embarrassment.

I didn’t know how much did it consume us to have an awkward interview. All I know is, it is already at setting sun.

Kinabukasan, maaga akong nagising upang makalibot. Leeyah invited me to come with them in going to the nearest shop.

Pagkagising ko ay abala na si Tita Shie na maghanda para sa umagahan. Nang mapansin ang akin presensya, nakangiti siyang lumapit sa akin upang bumati.

“Kailangan niyo po ba ng tulong?” Pag-aalok ko rito. Napansin ko kasi na masyadong abala ang mga katulong nila sa paglilinis.

“Yes, please, dear. Thank you.”

Itinuro niya sa akin ang pwede kong gawin. Madali lang naman ito dahil pirito lang ang umagahan. I expect them to have a meal first thing in the morning was an American set-up which is bread, cereals and fruits but they stick to rice and dish.

“Ate, I’m sorry to ditch you but I have an emergency. Only kuya could accompany you,” malungkot na paalam sa akin Leeyah pagkatapos ng agahan.

Tumango ako sa kaniya bilang pag-intindi. She asked me to knock in Ry’s room, so, we could already prepare going out. Hindi kasi nakasama naming mag-almusal ito sapagkat hindi pa bumabangon.

Pumunta muna ako sa aking silid bago tumuloy sa tapat nito. Nag-aalangan, hindi alam kung kailan mag-uumpisang kumatok sa pinto. Para akong tuod na nakatayo sa harap ng kaniyang kwarto. Nagbilang pa ako ng ilang beses bago maglakas-loob na kumilos.

Kaya ko ito.

Hindi ko kailanman naisip na ang simpleng aksiyon na ito ay magdudulot sa akin ng libo-libong kaba.

“Ry-.”

Hindi ko natuloy ang temptasyong tawagin ito nang kusang bumukas ang aking harapan. Binibigyang pagkakataon na masulyapan ang maamo nitong mukha.

I wanted to faint so badly with his look right now. He is topless with ruffled hair, half-close eyes and kissable lips. My heart is aching badly. I think, I am really broke.

Such a sight.

“Sorry. I overslept,” he said in raspy voice.

I tried my best not to lower my gaze to his body. Without staring it, my peripheral vision saw how ripped it is.

How often is he going to gym? For someone who’s 20 year old, he’s too matured.

What does abs feels like?

My face filled with crimson as I stopped myself from thinking further. I composed myself quickly before answering him.

“T-that’s okay. Sabit lang naman ako. Have a breakfast first and fix ourselves before going to the shop, I guess?” I acted casual even though I think about him appropriately earlier.

Oh God. Kill me already. Standing up close to me is a torture.

He agreed to my suggestion. I was about to go in my room when he called me.

“Good morning,” he smiled at me. Making my world turned upside down.

“Good morning, too.”

I went straight to my room, preparing nyself. I took a quick bath since we’ll swim at the beach after shopping for goods. Ubos na kasi ang stocks ng ibang pagkain kaya kami ang mamimili sapagkat masyadong abala silang lahat.

He is indeed gentleman because he open himself the car for me. The ride was silent but unlike yesterday, it is more comfortable. Luckily, he let me set up my phone to his sedan for a music. Gladly, our song of choices clicked.

“May list ka ba ng bibilhin natin?” I asked him while walking to the meat station.

He showed me his phone, giving a glimpse of Leeyah’s chat. Tumango-tango ako bago lumapit sa mga karne. He wished me to hold his phone so he could grab the goods at the top of the shelf.

“What’s next?”

I recite him the list of what to buy because I was the one who was holding it. After picking all of them, we went straight to the counter for paying. Hindi ko maiwasang mapuna ang panakaw na tingin ng mga tao na malapit sa amin. I am not that shocked to see them acting towards him. I mean, he is a head-turner with that masculine body and handsome face.

I heard the cashier’s little giggle as she touched Ry’s finger intentionally while getting his card. I want to roll my eyes but it is rude for me to that. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mayroon sakin bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. She also gave him a flirty smile!

“Let me help you,” I insisted while getting the bag.

“No, just hold my phone.”

Hindi ko alam kung anong sumanib sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa paper bag. I felt an electricity flow within my body as I get to touch his arm. My heart started beating fastly again, making my face hue in red. Tumikhim ako para ibalik ang tino.

Magaan lang naman ito kaya ayos lang sa akin na magbitbit. I guess, his gentleman nerve was just being active. I successfully get the paper bag but his face made me stuck at my track.

His lips were partly open with ears getting red. Nanatili lamang siyang nakatayo sa aking harap habang nakatitig sa akin. We stared at each other for a moment. With heart, beating loudly. I need to make myself check. It is already bad.

A murmur helped us to be back at the reality.

“Sir, where should I put this?” A staff came to us while holding a box.