Chapter 3: I'm broken... can I just stay among your broken things then?

While walking back home, Jake noticed that Jeremy had called him several times, the same thing was for his father, but since he always kept his phone on silent at best and on airplane mode at worst, he hadn't noticed anything.

Jake stared at the name "Dipshit" on his screen, the well-chosen name for his father, and he didn't know how to feel. Ever since his mother died, Mathew distanced himself from him and Aiden. All he did was work, work, and more work. They barely saw him for ten minutes at most every two or three days.

Jake knew that Mathew was trying to distract himself from pain with work, but this didn't make him any less angry with him. He didn't care if his father didn't want them to see him cry, he wanted him to stay by his side and cry together. He needed him the most back then, but what happened? In just a few days he lost both of his parents. One left this world, and the other behaved as if he had no relations with any of his sons.

This was the case for almost two years until a few months ago...

Usually when taking the drug, Jake wouldn't walk out of his room, no matter what. He would lock himself there and paint or write until he fell asleep. However, that particular day, while high, he had completely forgotten his mother's death and was convinced that she was waiting downstairs for him. While walking down the stairs, he bumped against Mathew who had just come back from work.

At first, Mathew thought his son was drunk. Given the fact that he was aware of Jake's depression, Mathew thought Jake was trying to drown his pain with alcohol, but Jake wasn't drunk. He didn't smell of alcohol nor did he behave like a drunk. Much to Matthew's surprise, Jake was indeed hammered.

For the first time since his wife died, Mathew felt something else that wasn't grief, pain, and sadness. And that was pure anger. He was so angry at his son, he wanted to beat the shit out of him and maybe sober him up during the process, but what reason did he have to do so? Wasn't all this his fault for neglecting him when he knew very well he had clinical depression and insomnia?

Realizing this, Mathew felt his heart breaking, but what almost broke him was when Jake shoved him away and almost incoherently spoke. "Mom is waiting for me."

That one sentence made Mathew fall apart.

Jake didn't think much of it back then, but when he woke up the next morning when his IQ came back online, he wanted to beat the shit out of himself.

However, ever since that day Mathew cut his working hours in half. He wouldn't go to work on weekdays, and he came back home almost at the same time Aiden came back from school every day. When he wasn't home, he would make Jeremy stay home with Jake, so he wouldn't be alone... as if Jeremy needed that old incompetent asshole to tell him that.

This sudden care from his father made Jake feel rather uncomfortable and awkward. He had grown numb to his constant ignoring, but now out of the blue, he cared about him.

Jake snorted and decided to call back only Jeremy. Even though it was almost one in the morning, his best friend picked up his phone.

"Kenny isn't Barbie's boyfriend. He's obviously gay!" Jeremy sleepily mumbled.

"They made him straight in the new series though," Jake said.

"They did?" Jeremy asked surprised.

"Mhmm."

There was silence for a second and Jake thought that maybe Jeremy went back to sleep, but what actually was going on was that Jeremy frowned and looked at the screen of his phone in confusion. "Jake, you idiot, why the fuck are we talking about Kenny being gay or not at one in the morning?"

Jake shrugged even though he knew Jeremy couldn't see him. "You started it."

"Whatever. Did you meet her?"

"I did." Without even noticing it, a gentle smile curved Jake's lips.

"How did it go?"

"..." Remembering how utterly terrified Ryder looked... "Well, she was somewhat interested in me..."

"That's great!" Jeremy exclaimed. "Did you exchange phone numbers? You should send her a message in the morning."

"..."

"Jake?"

"..."

"Jake? Are you there?"

"I might have forgotten to tell you something..."

After giving a brief explanation, Jeremy thought Jake should be very thankful that this conversation was done on the phone, or he would have pulled some Jackie Chan moves on his sorry ass. WHAT THE FUCK DOES "SHE HASN'T SEEN MY FACE" MEAN? What "broke into her backyard"? Is this guy fucking crazy?!

Yet Jeremy refused to give up his hopes. Whatever. As long as Ryder hasn't called the police on Jake, there's still hope.

"You... you sissy brat... I'm coming over after I drop Leah at kindergarten." After saying that, Jeremy brutally ended the call.

An animalistic noise filled the room. It could scare any human miles away. It certainly scared Jeremy away.

"What the fuck Jake???" He shouted. But Jake, being Jake, ignored him and let out that animalistic noise again.

For a moment Jeremy wasn't sure what was happening and even less what he should do. What is this situation?

Jake was lying down on the floor, wearing only a pair of black boxers, his face pressed against the floor, and he was kicking the floor like a four-year-old kid who didn't get what he wanted.

"Are you high?" Jeremy asked not daring to touch him. But he just took that damned drug yesterday... why again today? Is he getting addicted?

However, this thought wasn't long-lived, for Jake's answer killed it immediately.

"As you can see my dear friend, I'm down... Here on the floor. If I was high, I would be on the ceiling. Does this look like the ceiling to you? Because it doesn't to me. Why? Because this is the fucking floor. So no. I'm not high." And all of that was said in one breath. Jake had no idea how he could even speak so fast. Maybe he should be the next Eminem.

"What?" Jeremy was still confused. "Jake, what is wrong?" Did he hit his head or what? If it were before, Jeremy would roll his eyes and shrug this situation off, for this is how Jake usually behaved before his mother's death but now... Jeremy was truly terrified that this guy finally snapped and turned silly.

"What is wrong? I will tell you what is wrong. I'M STUCK." Jake screamed at the top of his lungs and just to make it more dramatic, he let out that animalistic noise again.

"Where?" Jeremy asked while looking at Jake, trying to figure out where he was stuck, but Jake was lying in the middle of the floor in the fucking middle of the room. Where could he be stuck for God's sake?

"In the book you idiot," Jake shouted, rolling his eyes.

As soon as he came back home, Jake started to write. It's not like he could sleep or anything. He wrote and wrote and then it was morning. However, the more he wrote the more he frowned. The image of Ryder back in her backyard wouldn't leave his head and he couldn't concentrate anymore. He wanted to put that image in his book, but he couldn't. This only angered him to the point of screaming. And that explained the animalistic noises.

"Thank God!" Jake heard Jeremy say. The moment the words reached his ears, he got up immediately.

"What are you thankful for??? I'm stuck you, idiot." Jake punched his shoulder fiercely. However, instead of punching back like he usually would, Jeremy laughed. And obviously Jake didn't expect that. "Are you mentally challenged?"

"You are an ass, Jake," Jeremy said between laughs. So, it turns out it actually was the normal behavior of pre-clinical-depression Jake.

"I know that, but it doesn't explain why you are laughing at my critical situation? Because it is a serious situation."

Jeremy smiled at his friend, unable to hide how relieved and happy he felt at this moment. "It has been almost two years or even more since you last had these kinds of breakdowns because of writing a book."

The indication behind that sentence was clear. Jake frowned and reflected on himself. He wasn't quite behaving like himself today... Jake decided to blame it on his sudden spurt of inspiration from earlier.

Coming to this decision, he lay down on the floor again and started making those animalistic noises once more.

What followed that was a strong impact on his head, making his mind go in circles. What the fuck...

"Stop fooling around, you moron." Jeremy glared at him, but his eyes were filled with joy. That glare didn't look threatening at all. He was holding a six-hundred-page book in his hands.

So he hit me with a book. Wow!

"What are you trying to achieve with all this noise?"

"I'm trying to get inspired." Jake glared at him.

"How? By acting like a freaking bear in labor?" Jeremy said to him. "You better shut up before the neighbors call the police for kidnapping someone."

Jake stood up, took his laptop, and walked to the bathroom, intending to hide in his bathtub.

Jeremy shook his head smiling. God damn it, he really missed the old Jake. "I'm going to make you breakfast. Is there anything you want to eat?" He habitually asked, not expecting any answer, for Jake never gave him one. He wouldn't even eat what Jeremy made him. At most he would munch on some bread before stopping eating even that.

Yet this time...

"Can you make me a sandwich?" Jake's voice came from the bathroom.

Jeremy was shocked to such an extent, that he became a living statue. He must be dreaming. For sure, he must be dreaming. He's willing to eat?!!! Fucking hell! Jeremy ran downstairs like his life depended on it.

Meanwhile, sitting in the bathtub with a laptop on his lap, Jake was thinking about how he needed energy. While coming back from Ryder's house he had almost fainted twice. He can't have that happening again, can he?

Since he couldn't sleep, at least he could try eating something, even though it wouldn't taste like anything to him.

In the end, Jake ended up eating half a sandwich which almost drove Jeremy to tears. He even decided to have a party with his daughter for this happy occasion. Aiden and that incompetent father weren't invited. They would only ruin the mood.

And so Leah, Jeremy, and Jake had a mini-party in Jake's room which was practically just Jake teaching Leah how to paint, Jeremy eating ice cream, his eyes glued to the duo who was messing with paint, while Des Rocs - Nothing Personal blasted from Jake's phone.

"You could use a little action

Run away and lead a life without consequence

Reaching for a book of matches

Strike a light and you'll see the real mess that I am..." Jake sang along. Leah giggled in his arms. Her tiny hands covered in teal paint touched Jake's face leaving a small handprint on his pale skin. A smile softened Jake's eyes as he looked down at Leah.

"Jay is so pretty when he smiles." Leah pinched Jake's cheeks, giggling at the funny look Jake made. "Daddy, I will marry Jay when I grow up."

Jeremy choked on his ice cream. "Cough, cough. NO, YOU WON'T!!!"

Leah hugged Jake's neck as if someone was trying to steal him from her. "Jay is pretty and he is good to me. I want to marry Jay!"

Jeremy glared at Jake. Never in his life, did he think that his best friend would steal his daughter's heart. "Jake is your uncle."

"No, he is my husband."

"Sweetheart, Jake is your daddy's friend. You can't marry him."

"Then you're not my daddy anymore."

"Wha- You little brat!" Getting disowned by his own daughter, Jeremy snapped.

Just then, Jake laughed, which made the bursting with anger Jeremy, freeze and look at Jake like he was Santa.

This is also the exact moment when Mathew opened the door of the room, almost tearing up upon seeing his son laughing after all this time. He, originally, wanted to talk to Jake about not staying outside that late anymore, but after facing a laughing Jake, he forgot everything he was supposed to say.

However, when Jake saw Mathew, the smile on his face faded away and was replaced by a frown. "What do you want?"

"Oh... I... Nothing. Just passing by." Mathew mumbled and closed the door, leaving.

Jeremy snorted, however, he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for lil old Mathew. He truly was trying, but Jeremy didn't blame Jake for being cold to his father. After all, it had been quite a while since they had a proper conversation. Two years were more than enough to turn people into strangers.

Jeremy left with Leah after it got dark and Jake was once again alone in his room. He tried to pass the time by writing or painting, in other words working, for that was actually his job, yet he couldn't quite concentrate... again.

At some point, he ended up sitting on his bed, a tube of ice cream in his hands, while his eyes were glued to the clock hanging on the wall. The ice cream had melted a long time ago, but Jake failed to notice it. His thoughts were all about Ryder.

Should I go see her again? It should be okay, right?

She wasn't angry at me yesterday... and she wasn't scared of me either after talking for a while.

I should go...

I shouldn't... this isn't normal. I can't even show her my face! I will sound and look like a creep.

But I want to go...

I... I need inspiration.

That's right. I need to go there because I need inspiration.

NO!

Ughhhh!!! What the fuck is wrong with me?!!!

I'm not going. I'm never going again. That's for the best. What right do I have to go to her? To even talk to her?

I'm not going!

So, Jake went to Ryder's house again that night.

It was almost midnight by the time he arrived, and much to his surprise, Ryder was working on her backyard that night as well. Was this a habit of hers?

There was the sweet melody of a piano playing on her phone, while she walked around the backyard. Apparently, her task tonight was to clean the place.

While she was picking up some wood pieces from near the fence where Jake was standing, humming along with the melody, Jake finally decided to talk.

Needless to say, Ryder almost had a heart attack. And so her response to Jake's "You changed the light bulb" was a scream mixed with a cry as she fell to the ground, trembling like a beaten kitten.

Jake didn't know either to laugh or feel sorry.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ryder roared in a hushed tone. Her parents came back home today, and the last thing she needed right now was for them to know that their precious only daughter talked with a creep, that she had no idea who he was, in the middle of the night. Fortunately, their bedroom was on the other side of the house, the farthest from the backyard so, the chances of them waking up from all the noise were low. "You scared me to death."

Ryder angrily threw one of the pieces of wood to the fence before standing up.

Jake was wearing a dark hoodie again. It covered half of his face and all Ryder could see, be there a working light bulb or not, were just a fair-skinned chin and two pink lips like two soft petals of a rose.

"You really like to be mysterious, don't you?" Ryder glared at the hood. She walked a few steps back from the fence to keep a safe distance from Jake and then spoke again. "Why did you come back again?"

Jake placed an arm over the fence and rested his chin on the crook of it, a faint soft smile hanging on his lips. "I bought ice cream while I was passing by and thought to share it with you." It was the melted ice cream he had forgotten he was holding in his hands and only became aware of it after he had already walked half the way to Ryder's house. He was even holding the spoon Jeremy used!

Jake's eyes shifted to the drafting table standing in the middle of the backyard. "You finished it?" He flicked his chin slightly, gesturing at it.

Ryder glanced at her just finished project and nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to sell it." She bent down and picked the wood pieces, going on with her cleaning. Maybe if she ignored him he would leave. But even after ten or so minutes of ignoring him, with the only thing breaking the silence being the melody of the piano playing, the young man didn't leave.

Actually, Jake was quite enjoying looking at her working, that soft smile still on his lips. He would rather stand there all night, looking at her, than go home. There's nothing at home that could keep him distracted from his own thoughts and pain.

However, after a while, Ryder couldn't take it anymore. "Why aren't you leaving?"

"I like the atmosphere here," Jake answered honestly.

Ryder snorted. She picked up a heavy Medusa head from the ground and tried to lift it up to the headless wooden statue's shoulders. "What is there to like?"

Jake bit his lip, his heart hiccupping for a second. "It's quite romantic."

The cognac eyes of Ryder widened, almost popping off her skull as the Medusa's head fell from her hands, almost breaking her foot. This was the second time she almost hurt her feet because of this guy. Frustration mixed with embarrassment bobbled up as she scorned him. "Stop talking nonsense."

She rushed to her phone to stop the music as her cheeks reddened.

On the other hand, Jake took off the lid of the ice cream tube and merrily dug a plastic spoon in it. Hmm... this actually doesn't taste like nothing. It tastes like strawberry... "Are you sure you don't want some?" He asked Ryder when he noticed she was glaring at him. The already red cheeks turned scarlet. Ryder looked away without responding to him. "What a pity... I bought it for you."

I can't tell her I accidentally took it with me, can I? Or the fact that it is actually melted... and kinda warm... Why does this taste so good?

Jake couldn't remember the last time he could taste what he ate.

"Why would you do that?"

Under the dark hoodie, Jake's ears turned red. Did I sound like a creep by saying that? Shit! Should have just told her the truth. Too late though... "I felt like it."

Ryder frowned, but before she could say anything else, Jake hurried to change the topic. "Do you only make tables?"

Ryder shook her head and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I do whatever I feel like doing."

"For example?"

"Drawing, painting, sculpting, wood carving, have tried making stuffed animals... a lot of things... but I'm not very good at it."

Fucking hell... she truly is amazing! "Jack of all trades, master of none." Jake chuckled.

The corners of Ryder's lips lifted. "Something like that."

Seeing her smile, Jake felt like he could get drunk just by looking at her. His eyes softened as he bit the tip of his thumb. So beautiful...

"Have you tried writing?"

Ryder didn't answer right away. She straightened her back and stared blankly at the dark sky for a moment, thinking about it.

"I have, but I prefer reading more." Suddenly, she remembered something. "What you said last night... Sometimes tears can ease the pain in one's heart... Where is it from? I know I have read them, but I don't remember in which book."

Jake hid his mouth behind the crook of his arm and stared at the girl in front of him. The corner of his lips twitched. Why are we talking about this now?

That quote was from one of the books he had written. Usually, he would blurt out the things he wrote in his books while talking. It had become a habit and he did it without noticing it.

But doesn't this mean Ryder has read his book?

Jake didn't know how to feel about this. Happy? Embarrassed? He felt as if his ego has been fed. But he couldn't tell her it was from the book he wrote. He didn't even remember which book was it from. In the end, Jake just kept his lips sealed.

Seeing that he wasn't responding, Ryder snorted again. What's so fun in acting so mysterious? "How old are you?"

"Young enough." Twenty is young, right?

Tired from cleaning and talking, Ryder sat on the ground, her legs crossed as she pulled blades of grass that were already in a miserable state even without Ryder attacking it like that. "Are you still running away from life?"

Jake's chest suddenly felt heavy. With a voice that didn't reach Ryder, he muttered at himself. "More like hiding from it."

The question was too personal and Ryder knew he wouldn't answer anyway. "Are you going to show up again?"

Jake was taken aback by such a question. Is this permission to come again? It sounds like that to me...

On the other hand, Ryder thought it was a very reasonable thing to ask. He had come three nights in a row, always showing up at the same time, at midnight, and for what? To talk? Is this guy so lonely, that only Ryder is willing to talk to him? That is so sad...

"I don't know..." Jake slowly answered.

Hearing that, Ryder suddenly felt like she was losing something. Were three nights enough for her to get used to this kind of situation? Isn't that a bit stupid coming from her?

"I think you shouldn't."

The turquoise eyes became dull upon hearing that. To hide the frown from the girl sitting cross-legged on the ground, Jake bit his lower lip. "Why?"

Don't drive me away.

Suddenly, one sentence crossed Jake's mind, and his eyelashes trembled.

I'm broken... can I just stay among your broken things then?

"Because I don't know you," Ryder said. "You won't show me your face, tell me your name, or even where you know me from. You might not be dangerous with bad intentions, but it still makes me feel uneasy."

Jake chewed on his lower lip for a bit, and hiding the desperation in his tone, he asked. "What if I give you another hint?"

He's willing to do so if it meant he wouldn't lose this... how could just three nights be enough for Ryder to become his way out of his painful reality?

Ryder widened her eyes, not expecting Jake to say something like that. She was convinced that keeping his identity a secret was really important to him since he has refused to give any proper hints to her. Ryder didn't expect the guy to offer hints as soon as she tried to shoo him away.

"And why would you do that?" She narrowed her eyes at the guy whose face was covered by the hood. "You want to come again?"

Is that even a question? Isn't it obvious enough?

Jake hesitated a bit, then shyly nodded. Ryder was bewildered, even a bit scared, but she couldn't sense any danger or ill intent coming from the young man.

"Why?"

A sigh flurried past his pink lips and Jake bit the tip of his thumb again. "I like talking to you."

"I..."

"We never talked to each other before... it's... it's nice." If it was two years ago, Jake wouldn't shut up for weeks if Ryder just said a word to him...

"I still don't know your name though. It feels a bit weird for me."

"Then how about you give me a name?"

His voice sounded two parts hopeful, three parts desperate. Ryder felt a bit helpless against that voice.

"Wouldn't that be weird for you?"

"I don't mind. People have called me a lot of names before." Aiden calls me all sorts of things, Jeremy as well... but then I have also been called a lot of nicknames by the readers and media since I haven't shown my face... if calling me another name is all it takes for her to let me meet her, I'm willing to change my name to Larry.

But Ryder instantly felt bad for the guy. He must get bullied a lot.

Without even noticing it, Ryder had started to think of names for the stranger. Jake looked at her pinching her lower lip as she thought and smiled a bit.

How can she be so cute?

"Can I call you Midnight then?"

Jake's lips twitched in displeasure upon hearing that name. She has read that book too?!!

Midnight was a character from one of his first books. The book was about a young man, who because of being possessed by demons, would go on a killing spree every midnight, the sight and scent of the blood being the only salvation from the mental and physical pain these demons brought him. That fucker was a total psycho. Jake felt wronged. Why should she call him that? Does Ryder think of him as a psycho?

Yet, upon noticing Ryder beaming proudly like a little child, he didn't have the heart to refuse. "Why not."

"Great then..." Ryder stood up from the ground and patted her clothes in a poor attempt at dusting off the grass and dirt from them. "Give me the hint."

Jake chuckled. "Hmm... I already gave you one."

"No, you didn't." Ryder frowned.

"I did. I told you that we haven't talked before."

The answer angered Ryder whose face turned red and her cheeks puffed. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this half-assed information?" Her arms crossed over her chest. "Give me a proper hint or don't bother showing up again. I will call the police."

Jake smiled. "Okay, okay... hmmm... let me think about it... What if I tell you my height?"

"No. I can find that out myself."

How... Jake was at a loss for words. How could she find out herself? "And how do you plan on doing that?"

A smirk lit up Ryder's features. "You're not standing on your tip toes, or you would have gotten tired after a while and tried to rest for a bit. However, except for shifting your weight from one foot to the other, your height has been the same all this time. All I have to do is measure the height of the fence, approximately add the size of a head to that number and ta da~, I have a rough estimate of your height."

Jake was speechless. What is this Sherlock Holmes shit?!! People can actually do that? SHE can do that? How-...

"Tell me your eye color."

"No."

"Hair color?"

"No."

"You're being unreasonable."

Goddammit, I'm fucking sacred now, okay? She's like Sherlock Holmes! If I tell her my eyes and hair color, by tomorrow, she will know my name.

Nu-uh. I'm not risking it.

"... hmmm... I'm handsome?"

However, Ryder felt so frustrated and annoyed by him, that she wanted to throw hands. Irritated, she picked up her phone from her working table and walked to the back door of her house to leave. Seeing that she had had enough, Jake panicked. "I have a mole on my right hand."

Ryder stopped walking and slowly turned around. One of her feet was inside the house, one outside, her hand on the handle as the door was slightly pushed open. "Elaborate." She narrowed her eyes at him.

Under the hood, Jake blushed. How long has it been since he had felt his face heat up like this? It felt like centuries. Suddenly, feeling awkward, he scratched the back of his neck. "It's on my thumb and it's very small..."

He would usually stare at it while writing or painting...

Jake anxiously stared at the cold and collected expression on Ryder's face. It still wasn't good enough? His hands were sweaty for some reason, and he had started biting on his lower lip again. It felt like a long time before Ryder finally nodded.

"This will do." She waved at him with a small smile on her lips, gentle and soft... Jake's cheeks turned a darker shade of red than before.

Fucking hell... why is she so beautiful?

"Good night then," Ryder said.

"Does this mean I can come tomorrow?" Jake asked.

"Yeah... but you have to come after ten o'clock and leave before midnight." That way her parents would be asleep, and she wouldn't have to stay out in the backyard the whole night. Ryder thought this was a practical solution.

However, Jake had other thoughts. "Is this... Is this why you decided to call me Midnight?" He asked bewildered. Did this girl really name him after the time of the night she would kick him off her house?

"All of the three times you showed up at midnight. That's why." As soon as she explained it, Ryder walked inside the house and locked the door behind her.

EXTRA:

Jake at home: *opens the "Who killed Midnight* document on his laptop*

Jake: *reads at loud* With hands covered in blood, the smell of it intoxicating his thoughts, Kai cracked the smile of a lunatic at the terrified young girl. The knife in his hand felt scorching hot, thirsting for more blood. "Why don't you shed a few tears for me, honey?"

Jake: ...

Jake: *slams the laptop shut* FUCKING HELL HOW AM I LIKE HIM?!! HA?!!! WHAT MIDNIGHT! THAT GUY IS A FUCKING LUNATIC!