Don't you go anywhere!

Chapter 8

Vanessa's POV

"Uh" I said, and yes I'm someone that says uh a lot…. it's just the best word I can think of in circumstances like this. 

"Yes Vaness, I'm done with her," Damon said. 

"But why, what happened?!" I asked.

Don't get me wrong, I was never in full support of the whole engagement thing with perfect Jessica, but still I thought he was happy…. I mean he must have been if he could go as far as putting a ring on her finger!

I however was not ready to jump at this news yet until I fully understood what exactly was going on between the two of them. 

"I was never in love with her, Vanessa, I just went along with the engagement because I had to", he said.

"You had to? Why?" I asked.

He wasn't making any sense at all. I mean who gets engaged to someone they did not love. This was definitely not the Damon I knew. 

Yes he was too kind and selfless for his own good, but I didn't think he could get engaged just because he had to! Like what sort of excuse was that! 

He looked at me like he was about to say something then changed his mind in that split second. I knew him too well. 

Whatever the reason may be it was obviously not something trivial. 

I also knew him too well to know that he was definitely not going to tell me. He had that look, he was going to beat around the bush till the grass fades away.

"I can't tell you now, I want to but I can't" he finally said but I was already expecting that reply.

"But if you can't tell me then I can't really understand you, and I want to reason with you but you're making it so hard for me," I admitted. 

"Okay Vanessa, I'll tell you…."

Wow, finally! I thought. 

"But not now," he finished, and I could tell he didn't want me to bug him about it anymore.

"Alright, so what next now Damon?" I asked.

"I don't know!" He exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" I enquired further. 

"Vanessa I know what I do not want, but I don't know what I want," he replied. 

"What do you not want Damon?"

"I don't want Jessica that's for sure," he scoffed.

"And what do you want?" I asked.

Then he went quiet. He looked up at me for what seemed like eternity and put his head down again and just whispered,

"I don't know what I want Vanessa."

Well what was I even expecting?! 

For him to declare his undying love for me then I tell him how I feel too and we get to live happily ever after! 

I should have known better than that. I was his best friend, his ride or die for forever. I was sure he loved me to death…. But not in that way, not in the way I yearned and hoped for.

"Okay Damon, but what about Jessica, how does she feel about all this?" I asked with real concern.

I was not heartless and completely selfish, I could not imagine how she could be feeling right now… well except she was the heartless one.

"I don't know and I don't care," he replied with strong conviction, "I was never in love with her and the whole engagement thing was a mistake, all part of her plan to tie me down."

"Wow, I sincerely thought you two were happy together, I was even a little bit jealous," I said.

"Was that why you got so upset when you found out?" He asked.

Was this my chance? To tell him how I really  feel and why I was so upset about his engagement. 

I wanted to say those words so badly but I was scared to the bone. I didn't want to lose him and I could if he wasn't ready for my confession.

Anyways, now didn't seem like the right time to confess my love to him. I mean, he just got out of an engagement and most certainly wouldn't be searching for anything serious to get into for now, most definitely not a romantic relationship with his best friend. 

Still I desperately wanted to get this weight off my shoulders. I wanted to scream my love for him till the whole world knows. 

I wanted to scream it out loud and let all my numerous fears and worries fade away. I wanted to have a happily ever after with him even if just for a moment. 

But I didn't have the courage to do all that so I just said,

"Not entirely, but I think I have a right to be upset when you didn't even bother to tell me you were engaged but decided to give me the surprise of the century!" I exclaimed. 

"Well I'm sorry Vanessa, I truly am," he groaned.

"I don't understand you Damon, I thought we told each other everything!" 

And as I said these words I could taste my own lie in my tongue. How can I even accuse him of keeping things from me when I have been hiding how I feel about him for ages now.

Still it wasn't the same thing, right? No it's  not the same thing so I should stop accusing myself.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. 

I knew he truly was sorry and dragging the matter any further would be absolutely  unnecessary. 

"Okay Damon, apology accepted," I said, giving him my most majestic look but failing to do that and smiling at the same time.

"Thank you my queen," he chuckled with a little bow and we just ended up laughing out loud like two crazy friends. 

"Okay enough of this sad mood," I said, trying to lighten the tension in the air, "I haven't seen my best friend for what seems like ages now and I missed you, and to see that you've actually grown more handsome!" I exclaimed. 

"What do you mean, I still look the same!" He said, trying to be all polite. 

"Oh stop it! I admit you were moderately good looking before but now you are a full blown stud! I mean just look at your arms and that cute mustache you're keeping," I teased him further.

"Well I do what I can," he said, with a mischievous smirk. 

That smirk could only mean that he has caught on to the fact that I'm trying to tease him and he was playing along just fine.

"Well you handsome devil, why don't we go out? I wanna show the world that my best friend is now a stud," I said.

"Okay Vanessa, where should we go?" He asked, lying back on the chair and already checking for something interesting to watch on the television.  

This particular scene felt so familiar and I was glad that we were back to normal, at least a little bit.

"Let's go see a movie. There's this absolutely mind blowing romance movie that just came out that I really want to see but I didn't want to go without you but viola, you're here now," I said.

"Wow, is that so?" He said smiling. 

"Absolutely!" I stated. 

I knew he wasn't really a big fan of romance movies but he would always watch them just because of me and then it became our thing. 

"Alright, go get ready so we can get out of here," he said. 

"Yeah!" I screamed, doing a little victory dance while I headed upstairs and he was just shaking his head and smiling.

Just before I vanished upstairs I looked back and gave him my best serious look while saying,

"Don't you go anywhere!"

"Never Vanessa, never," he replied, and for a moment there I thought he meant something more.