“We’ve got sound.”“What, they let you back on the island?”“They don’t know we’re back in.”“I’m pretty sure Russo had a hand in this.”“You would be right; only he could pull off something like this. That’s why we need him on our side.”Another ingrate. “You still haven’t told me how you found every one of us.”“Well, I was doing your job.”“I’m not looking for fuck.”“You found Lorde.”“He found me.”“If you say so.”“I’m not in the mood for your hoodoo bullshit.”“It’s the law of attraction, Lyon; they’re all coming home. Don’t you find it strange that the kids in Cali all found each other without knowing about their ancestral past? We should talk to Catalina about this; I’d love to hear her take on it.”“You talk to her. I ain’t saying shit to that kid.”“You’re just salty because she’s your carbon copy but in a cuter package.”“Kiss my ass. By the way, if she has those lions on that island, I’ll leave the whole lot of you there to get eaten, dumb ass.”“They were taken back to wh
“Do you want to call out today? Tell them you’re not feeling well?”“No, I can’t do that to the others, they have lives too, you know, and they didn’t sign up for my personal drama. I’ll be fine, Ryder, don’t worry about me.” I had to say those words because what else was I going to say? But deep inside, I was a mess and trying very hard to hold onto my sanity.I find myself caught up in a melee of troubling thoughts that don’t sit well with me, and there was no time to think it all through because I had to go to work and be my best in front of the cameras, not giving away any of what I was feeling. It's enough to make me throw up.If it were up to me, I’d go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until it all passed, but I don’t have that option. I thought I would be happy to see my enemy brought low. I’d imagined it a million times over the years, every time I hurt, each time I thought of him with her. I’m only human, after all, and someone else was married and living with the
In moments of clarity, I kept telling myself I could bounce back from this, that things were not as final as they seemed, and then my head would become filled with all the ways I’d been wronged, and I’d get so mad I could throw up. All the way back to my childhood home with the two strange men upfront, silent as the dead, ignoring my questions, all I wanted to do was scream.One moment, I felt hopeful and ready to fight for what was mine, and the next, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open. I knew it was partly because of the long drive the night before and partly the drugs messing with me, and still, I couldn’t help taking a couple more just to numb the pain.All I could think about was how hard things were going to be, how people were going to laugh at me, how low I had fallen. No matter how much I told myself to think positively and not give up, those were the only thoughts that seemed to want to hang around, and so they lingered.It wasn’t long before the pills started to d
“You’ve got the wrong guy. Don’t you people know who I am? Hey, I’m talking to you; answer me, dammit.” They ignored me again like they had the last ten times I said the same. I’ve been repeating that refrain or some variation of it since they threw me back here with cuffs on and no regard for my comfort. At first, I tried telling myself that it was because of my disheveled appearance that they didn’t recognize me, but then I remembered that they’d called me by name in the alley, and that line of thought went nowhere, but only worked to heighten my fear and desperation.I was trying hard not to shit myself while worrying about the cameras that were bound to meet us as soon as we reached the station. “Hey guys, give me a break here; you know I’m not good for this; you should be out there looking for the real killer. At least let me get cleaned up before you take me in. I can’t let my fans see me like this.” Nothing, it was as if I wasn’t even there.I haven’t even had time to digest th
I saw it as soon as I saw her walking towards the car. Even from this distance, her eyes gave it away. It’s amazing that after all that time apart, I can still read her so well. I knew from the looks of things that she’d spent the day worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it; in fact, I knew it would be like this even before I left her because that’s just who she is, and still, I’d let her go to work like that. I have to do better than this. This was one of my many failings from before, not protecting her even from herself. She’s so brilliant in everything else, always knowing the right thing to say or do, that it was never really needed, except when it came to herself. For everyone else, she’s a champion of causes, the one you want next to you in a fight. As long as the fight is for someone else.I’d seen it, time and again, the way she’d put herself last to take care of others and had taken advantage of that fact a time or two myself. Something I am now grievously ashamed of. Of
"So, how was it being a child star? One of the very few who made it out on top?""Well, it had its ups and downs, if I'm being totally honest with you." I fought hard not to pick at my nails or bounce my legs nervously, knowing that the camera never misses anything, and neither does the eye of a well-trained reporter on the hunt for the next big scoop."Explain.""As a child, I didn't know anything more than that I was doing something I loved. How many people get to be on television and get to see themselves portrayed in a fun, wholesome way throughout their formative years?""To me, it wasn't a job, you know; it was just something I loved doing and had so much fun doing it. I didn't think about or understand the fact that it was so out of the realm of normal, you know. I guess I thought that all little girls and boys got to do what they loved, and we were all special."He nodded his head but didn't respond with another question which left me in the awkward position of having to fill i
I grew up in a time when for me, the world was so innocent. My single mom, who had been a Jill of all trades, most things having to do with the stage and acting, had been my best friend and confidant. Well, as much as a seven-year-old needs one.She was the person I looked up to most in the world, so it was only natural, I guess, for me to get bitten by the acting bug after many hours spent tagging along by her side when the babysitter fell through. I was fascinated by the whole concept, and when I saw my first real TV show, with children like me and not the cartoon characters I knew so well from the only shows I was allowed to watch up until then, it just made sense for me to want to do that.Back then, mom had not pulled any punches; she'd done her best to warn me about the vigors of getting into that life, but not once did she ever try to deter me, especially once she realized that it was my dream. When I look back on it now, I don't know how she did it with the little bit she had.
And so began a whirlwind of chaos. I had what you might call a manic episode spurred on by her words of encouragement and locked myself away in my room, rereading all that I had poured out of my heart during these past three years of hell.Some of the words seemed so foreign to my eyes that had it not been my writing; I would've suspected someone else of planting them. By the time I came up for breath, it was growing dark outside, and Sydney was long gone.The ice cream, at least one of them, was a melted puddle of cream and sauce and soggy fruit, and I was reminded once again that I hadn't had anything to eat all day, but there was no hint of hunger in me.I had another hunger brewing, one that left me ravenous. It had been so long since I'd had the urge to do anything artistic that that too felt foreign, but when I looked back over all that I had done in the last few hours, I found that I had created three new songs from my pitiful ramblings.I was more surprised by the fact that no