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Chapter 89:ANDREWS
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My Bully's Crush Chapter 90: RYDER
I saw it as soon as I saw her walking towards the car. Even from this distance, her eyes gave it away. It’s amazing that after all that time apart, I can still read her so well. I knew from the looks of things that she’d spent the day worrying about someone who didn’t deserve it; in fact, I knew it would be like this even before I left her because that’s just who she is, and still, I’d let her go to work like that. I have to do better than this. This was one of my many failings from before, not protecting her even from herself. She’s so brilliant in everything else, always knowing the right thing to say or do, that it was never really needed, except when it came to herself. For everyone else, she’s a champion of causes, the one you want next to you in a fight. As long as the fight is for someone else.I’d seen it, time and again, the way she’d put herself last to take care of others and had taken advantage of that fact a time or two myself. Something I am now grievously ashamed of. Of
My Bully's Crush Chapter 1: ELENA
"So, how was it being a child star? One of the very few who made it out on top?""Well, it had its ups and downs, if I'm being totally honest with you." I fought hard not to pick at my nails or bounce my legs nervously, knowing that the camera never misses anything, and neither does the eye of a well-trained reporter on the hunt for the next big scoop."Explain.""As a child, I didn't know anything more than that I was doing something I loved. How many people get to be on television and get to see themselves portrayed in a fun, wholesome way throughout their formative years?""To me, it wasn't a job, you know; it was just something I loved doing and had so much fun doing it. I didn't think about or understand the fact that it was so out of the realm of normal, you know. I guess I thought that all little girls and boys got to do what they loved, and we were all special."He nodded his head but didn't respond with another question which left me in the awkward position of having to fill i
My Bully's Crush Chapter 2: ELENA
I grew up in a time when for me, the world was so innocent. My single mom, who had been a Jill of all trades, most things having to do with the stage and acting, had been my best friend and confidant. Well, as much as a seven-year-old needs one.She was the person I looked up to most in the world, so it was only natural, I guess, for me to get bitten by the acting bug after many hours spent tagging along by her side when the babysitter fell through. I was fascinated by the whole concept, and when I saw my first real TV show, with children like me and not the cartoon characters I knew so well from the only shows I was allowed to watch up until then, it just made sense for me to want to do that.Back then, mom had not pulled any punches; she'd done her best to warn me about the vigors of getting into that life, but not once did she ever try to deter me, especially once she realized that it was my dream. When I look back on it now, I don't know how she did it with the little bit she had.
My Bully's Crush Chapter 3: ELENA
And so began a whirlwind of chaos. I had what you might call a manic episode spurred on by her words of encouragement and locked myself away in my room, rereading all that I had poured out of my heart during these past three years of hell.Some of the words seemed so foreign to my eyes that had it not been my writing; I would've suspected someone else of planting them. By the time I came up for breath, it was growing dark outside, and Sydney was long gone.The ice cream, at least one of them, was a melted puddle of cream and sauce and soggy fruit, and I was reminded once again that I hadn't had anything to eat all day, but there was no hint of hunger in me.I had another hunger brewing, one that left me ravenous. It had been so long since I'd had the urge to do anything artistic that that too felt foreign, but when I looked back over all that I had done in the last few hours, I found that I had created three new songs from my pitiful ramblings.I was more surprised by the fact that no
My Bully's Crush Chapter 4: RYDER
I wonder what she's doing. It's only been a day since the interview, and there was no way for me to know how she was holding up since no one in her circle would even spit on me, let alone fill me in, but she'd looked bad, and it was worrying me.I gave up wondering a long time ago when I'd stop thinking of her and when I'd lose this feeling of missing a limb or something else just as important and necessary to my existence. That's after I was forced to come to terms with the fact that I'd done something horrible in a fit of anger and torn our lives apart.Something that I could never take back, something that I will regret for the rest of my life. That saying is really true, the one about not knowing what you've got until you've lost it, and my major fuck up had cost me big. I realized it almost immediately, but by then, it was too late. The deed was done for the whole world to see, and there was no turning back.I wanted to hurt her and ended up shredding my heart to pieces in the pro
My Bully's Crush Chapter 5: RYDER
The anger I had felt when I made the decision to piss my life away was long gone. Some days I even find myself doubting the rumored betrayal that had led me to make the worst mistake of my life, and that only made things worst.I regret so many things about that day and the time leading up to it. Most of all, the fact that I hadn't talked to her about all this before going through with the wedding. I laid awake many a night wondering how things would've gone had I done that. But a mix of booze, drugs, and anger had spiraled me into a corner that I was finding it hard to get out of.The one person who could've helped was the one person I didn't dare face. Not that I could've even if I wanted to because she'd disappeared. Once the drug haze had lifted a bit, once I realized that she was gone, something I only realized because my heart was beating differently, I wanted to find her, longed for her. But she was gone.I looked for any news, but all that was there were old pictures of the two
My Bully's Crush Chapter 6: ELENA
"I can't believe you did all this in just a week and a half. This is unprecedented, and I'm so proud of you. You did good, chicklet." Sydney wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug. A hug that I didn't know I needed as much as I obviously did until now. It made the last few days of manic obsession so worth it. And the fast pace I'd put myself through had paid off from the sound of it.I had no reason to doubt her words as she's one of the best in the business, both as a singer and as a songwriter, so the real pleasure I saw in her face helped ease the knots in my stomach. I was still reeling from the fact that I'd done it all in ten days, more or less.I'd had to do some lying and fast-talking to find the time to do it on my own without interruption. In the mornings, I'd feign not wanting to get out of bed, allowing my family and Rachel to believe that I was still down from the outing on the day of the interview, something I'm not proud of.But I knew they wouldn't have given me a mom
My Bully's Crush Chapter 7: ELENA
"It's here; it's here, it's here." Sydney came rushing into the kitchen, where I sat eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I saw the magazine she waved around in her hand, and the food turned to sawdust in my mouth. I almost asked her to turn around and leave but knew that I couldn't do that to my best friend, not after all that she'd gone through for me.Wait a minute; she's beaming, smiling from ear to ear. My heart started beating a wild tattoo in my chest and resounded in my ear. "It's good news," I said, it more like a statement than a question, and when she rushed forward to throw her arms around my neck hard enough to choke me, I felt myself relax."It's great news, chicklet, you did it. It's a hit, number one on all the streaming charts. Look!" I looked at the magazine cover but couldn't make out the words through the tears in my eyes. It was real; I'd done it, I'd really done it.After sharing the audio with my manager, who took it to the rest of my team, I've been holdin
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- My Bully's Crush Chapter 90: RYDER
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