It's as if they don't want to move at all while my mom is moving about normally. I watch her talking to doctor Anthon, who's standing by my mom's car with her arms behind her back, giving off a more relaxed and content like expression while she listens to my mom blabber about God knows what.
When I said that my feet are too slow I meant it, I'm still standing in the front door, staring at my mom and doctor Anthon.
A soft hand touches my shoulder and I already know who it is. I watch the two ladies for a bit, being busy in conversation.
"You know how bad I am with goodbyes, so I won't say it."
" I know." I tell Vicky.
Doctor Anthon calls Vicky and I hear her take a breath before she moves past me and heads over to them. I watch the three women talk and the more I do, something in me feels more empty and unclear right at this moment.
" Bailey, time to go." My mom calls out, pulling me out of my thoughts .
Getting back to reality, I realise that Vicky had just said something whilst walking past me yet I did not hear her." Take care of yourself." This atleast I heard before it was too late.
I can sense that there's more that she wants to say but thinks better of it.
Heading over to the car, I realise that the situation with my feet hasn't changed at all, they are still dragging themselves, this time not only are my feet stubborn but my head and eyes too, which keep on looking over my shoulder and landing on one window in particular.
They expect to see someone there but sadly there's no one.
I watch as Patrick places my bags in the car for a moment before looking back over my shoulder again. My eyes never move from the window even though I'm quite aware of my surroundings, still they never move from where they are trained. I finally decide to look away, not wanting to waste anymore time and open the passenger door, entering inside with a feeling of resignation before I close it, slumping in my seat with a sigh of defeat.
" Bailey." Doctor Anthon nods my way before turning and walking off, followed by Patrick who also shares the same nod before following after doctor Anthon.
Vicky blocks my line of sight and reaches out her hand to touch my own, squeezing it lightly."Take care of yourself." She repeats and this time her words are clear in my ears.
I open my mouth to say something, when the driver's side opens and I know that my mother has just entered. Vicky steps away from the car and I already miss her, especially when she gives me a last glance before she walks away. I feel a light squeeze on my arm which makes me to glance at my mom, a small smile is being sent my way.
" Ready?" No.
I return her smile before looking away and back to the window.
This time however, the window is no more abandoned but someone is occupying that place, Connor.
He is looking at me and I'm staring back at him, I watch his hand move from where it was to touch the window. Staring at him is all I can manage to do at this point, when the car starts moving and the building is slowly moving out of view.
Something strikes in me, as though I'm awaken from sleep and only at this moment do I realize that everything feels wrong. My heart starts beating fast because deep down I know that something is about to happen. Luckily the traffic lights switch on to red and this is when I give my mom one last glance, the only thing which rings in my head are the words, I'm sorry.
" What?" My mom says, and I realize that I just said that out loud.
Not wanting to repeat the words, I take a breath while my eyes close for a second, I stare intently at the flashlight and wait. And I wait.
Green, that's all it takes for me to quickly open the door and burst out of the car, only to land on the ground since the car was beginning to move. I immediately pick myself up and start running, away from the car and getting further away from my mom's calls after me.
My heart beats even harder while I run as fast as I can. The center finally comes into view and that only feuls me to move faster. Once I'm in the premises, everything becomes a blur, even the gasps and shocked faces around me, I never stop running. My body is wearing out but even that doesn't make me stop, I run up a pair of stairs, taking two of them at a time and only when I reach my destination do I finally stop, and no it's not my room but the roof.
My breathing is still frantic and I'm trying to calm myself down while I take slow steps towards the edge, the air is cool and I'm liking how the wind combs through my hair, giving me something to take in, especially the sight that is coming into full view as I move closer to the edge.
I'm so in my numb mind that it takes some time for me to realize what I've just done and where I am.
I suddenly hear footsteps behind me, making me to glance over my shoulder to see Connor just a few feet from me, he stops moving right then and there.
" The view is really nice." I comment.
He doesn't say anything.
With this I turn back around and continue walking to the edge until I am a foot away. " You shouldn't be here." I tell him.
" Neither should you." He says and I can hear him much closer now.
" I know." I say, not even looking at him.
" Then why are you here?" He asks and now I can feel him too close.
I sneak a look at him again, and that's when I notice a frown upon his face, with a quick emotion, flashing in his eyes. It's something more like concern but he is quick to cover it with a more unreadable expression." I -"
I'm immediately cut off by a scream that comes from the bottom, bringing me to attention. I'm now quite aware of my mother who is responsible for screaming and looking shocked and terrified, it doesn't take more then two minutes for people to join her. Vicky, Doctor Anthon, Patrick and a few people, at first they question her until she points to the roof to where I am standing.
" I guess we've earned ourselves an audience." I say dryly.
" I think you're responsible for that." He tries to joke but I can hear the concern deep in his voice without me, having to look at him.
All I do is shrug. Just within a second of silence, I hear the people at the bottom trying to get my attention and begging me to come down, to step away from the edge and what do I do?
Well I block them out.
You know how there's a saying of things having consequences, well that's what I get when all of a sudden my body weight becomes heavy and I'm now lightheaded and feeling quite nauseas.
What is wrong with me?
" Something crazy, right?" That's all that comes out of my lips before I stagger forward and my vision becomes blurry, where I miss a step and all I remember is my body dropping until I can't feel it no more, where lights go out.
Nothing seems worse then what I had experienced 10 minutes ago. I woke up with me in the emergency room where I was bombarded by people, oh and not just any people, Mom, Vicky, Doctor Anthon and a doctor .I got both a scold and hug from my mom, the doctor telling me of my sugar levels being low and me being dehydrated, oh and that I need to get the necessary foods since my body was still very much small, whatever that meant. Doctor Anthon was just Doctor Anthon, who said a few words apart from Vicky who has not spoken anything.So now it is two hours later and I am sitting on the bed that I was lying on and my mom is just standing by the window, refusing to look at me while we wait for Doctor Anthon to come in." I'm sorry." That's all I manage to say which almost sounds like a whisper.My mom shifts slightly and looks at me. Looking at her now, I see both concern and a bit of hurt deep within. Now
Calm. That's me right about now.I had a fulfilling spiritual therapy and now I'm sitting on a bench outside , enjoying the cool air but of course plans are thrown out the window when I see Connor coming my way.The memory of last night invades my calm thoughts and now regret plays deep within me. Last night shouldn't have happened.I shouldn't have revealed myself so much, having myself exposed and vulnerable and letting him see me so weak. It shouldn't have to be up to him to comfort me and bear my baggage, I just can't do that to him when he too is dealing with his own stuff, I just can't be that selfish.My thoughts soon disappear when I see him standing in front of me and he is smiling at me, not a big smile just a small one." I think I might be in trouble," he says as he takes a seat next to me."Bound to happen." I say and he smirks at me and my lips lift int
It's been 2 days since I last talked to Connor and in all honesty, I feel utterly bored and have been down.I can't blame anyone but me. This is my own doing and now I will have to deal with it.I'm pretty sure that I'll be annoying Vicky soon with how I have been been in these two days. I've withdrawn a little bit and we don't talk as much and that I know greatly, how frustrating it can get for Vicky.I can't lie and say that there isn't that twinge of hurt, when I walk past him or have him avoid me at every chance he gets. It's there and damn it, I can't help but admit to missing him. I still don't get what it is about him that makes trying to put distance between us so hard, I mean we don't exactly know each other but gosh, if I don't miss that boy.Even through my internal battle of trying to suppress any thoughts of him or the fact that I miss him, I can't ignore that I pretty much asked him to stay away from me and to leave me be. I was doing
Nothing seems better than today, being under nice cool weather and having a nice book in hand, to keep me entertained. I'm seated under the same tree that I've sat at, for all these years and just like the last time being here, I feel relaxed and feel like nothing can mess up my mood.I'm all done with my activity and now have nothing better to do but let thoughts of Connor to invade my mind. It's hard not to miss him, even after days have passed, I miss our friendship and just having someone in my corner.Well I may feel all these emotions and fight with my decision of whether to let him back into my life or not, whilst still here at the center. I know that I should do as Vicky had advised and do all I can to actually leave, but leaving seems like my last priority when I think about Connor and our little friendship.Thinking about what I want at the moment, I think back to a time when I'd had those book moments whic
Distracted, that's me.I've been like this for most of the time mom has been here, telling me all about her Mr Perfect.Okay, I love my mom but gosh, the way she has been carrying on about this person makes the idea of meeting him one thing to dread doing. I feel like she's trying way too hard for me to be impressed, which is not the case at the moment.I mean I'm not very fond of the way their relationship seems to moving , its pace proves quite fast and I don't want my mom to get burnt and crash like her past relationships, where I was one left to help her get back onto her feet. In those times I've found myself neither having a choice but to be dragged into watching soppy romantic movies, eat alot of junk food and listen to heartbreaking songs.No, not this time. I can't go through all that again.Placing all concerns aside and actually taking a good look at my mom now, I notice something I haven't seen before, it's diffe
"Okay, it's simple, we introduce each other and go with the basics. It's just a way to get to know more of each other." Conner explains and I just stare at him.Both Connor and I are sitting right outside my door, it's late but I can't sleep. Connor surprised me by rocking up on my doorstep, whining about not being able to sleep too and that he's bored, so as a good friend, I thought I'd keep him company, right outside my door and not in my room." I think we should skip introductions, we are way past that." I suggest.He quirks his brow at me before saying, " I'm tall, good looking and -""And you are bad at this.""How come?"" All I hear from you is about how you look but not about you." I say, making him sigh out, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes."Okay, I'm the last born at home and I dislike the responsibilities that
I knew that I shouldn't have asked him, now I'm instantly starting to regret it.Okay, so after I asked him about the way he was looking at me, I got my answer. Not much was said but his actions spoke for him, when he started to climb the tree that I was sitting under.Now here I am, busy climbing the tree and mentally praying that I don't fall."Ha." A sigh escapes me after I finally join him and I am sitting as comfortable as I possibly can.Looking down, I realize that it is a bit high, which doesn't help that dizziness wants to take over right now.Moving my eyes elsewhere but the ground, I feel his eyes on me, making me to look at him, only to see a frown on his forehead." Are you okay?"" Yeah, just trying to figure out how much injury I'll get once I make the jump."" You are not jumping from here." He says, shaking his head." Why not?" I ask , frowning at him." Because I don'
There are moments in life, when one is faced with unforeseen occurrences, maybe something quite imaginative yet a possibility at the same time. It's almost like when you encounter something and you do all you can, to not hang on to the outcomes of that incident, event or just being around someone.It's usually so easy to carry on with the same daily routine that you'd been doing for so long, and now when someone suddenly comes along, erases or disrupts just a minor of your plans, then you just know that you are in some sort of trouble.It's never easy, breaking away from what you are so used to and try fit someone new, in a part of your life, who not only doesn't have to do much to get a reaction out of you, but the one who doesn't seem to stop making you feel crazily open-minded, about trying something new.Connor, that's him.After spending some time with him and of course after what happened yeste