AND IF YOU HOLD ME, YOU WILL BE THE FIRST

STORM

“the only person who is going to regret this is you,”

That is all I hear before I am thrust in front, and I lose my balance. I feel myself falling and I can't stop it. then my back hits cold water and I know she has pushed me into the pool.

I close my eyes feeling the sting of water in my eye, water rushing through my nose and mouth.

I don’t know how to swim to save my life, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that I might be drowning in this pool right now the last thing I will feel is the way the alcohol in my veins is making me feel like my drowning is happening in slow motion.

It is getting hard to breathe, and I am choking, but my arms and limbs are flaccid, and I can't move. A part of me lets go, and it's scary but again, freeing.

Perhaps I will see my father again….

And just as the thought crosses my mind, I feel hands grabbing me and pushing me up. I have no control so I just let myself be led up and once again, I feel a cool breeze on my face.

Then I am coughing,