“so you have been feeling this? all of you?” I ask them and their grim faces tell me everything.

“Baby, you shut us down every step we take to help you,” Kyle approaches me and I take a step back.

“I don’t want your help,” I tell him and he looks like I have slapped him.

I don’t mean to o this, but I don’t think I can stop.

“you have been drowning and we have been here asking you how to help you and you have said no. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to save you,” Landon speaks to me gently.

“I don’t want to be saved, no one can save me,” I say. I can feel tears scrolling down my face.

“why are you doing this?” Dean asks, his voice hurt.

I exhale, steeling myself. “because none of you understand.”

“Help us then understand you, we love you so much, too much to let you be this way,” Kyle approaches me once again and I let him come close to me. “let us in, please.”

I want to give in so much, but it's going to be the same. It's going to feel like it has been for a while now.
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