3

Finals.

Prom.

Graduation.

My entire high school experience had been blown wide open, leaving a gaping hole right at the heart of what should have been the best year of my life.

Mom and Dad had tried to talk to me about it, about college and all the important things I’d missed, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lie there and be a bystander to almost a year of my life.

So I’d faked a headache and asked them to let me rest. But sleep didn’t come, and I’d been lying here for too long, trying to will the memories back into existence.

The door opened and my brother peeked inside.

“Avery,” I breathed.

“Hey, Leigh Leigh. Mom and Dad said you were sleeping but I had a feeling you—oh shit, Sis, don’t cry.”

But the floodgates had torn open, big fat ugly sobs spilling out of me like a torrent.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He rushed to my side and took my hand in his. “It’s okay.”

“Is it?” I choked out. “I can’t remember, Ave. I can’t remember any of it.”

“Fuck,” he hissed. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

Senior year was gone.

Lost.

And worst of all, I might never get it back.

“You want me to get Mom and Dad?”

“No,” I rushed out. “They’ll only worry, and this isn’t something they can fix.”

It wasn’t something anyone could fix.

“The doctor said there’s a chance your memories could return, right?”

I nodded. “But they also might not.”

And then what?

Was I supposed to repeat my entire senior year when everyone else’s lives had moved on?

My friends were all set to start college in a few weeks. I was supposed to be heading to the University of Pennsylvania.

Now everything was ruined.

I was ruined.

“Feel better now it’s all out?” Avery asked, dropping into the chair beside my bed.

“A little, I guess. It just feels so surreal, you know? I can remember the week before the pep rally as if it was only yesterday…”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Leigh.”

“I appreciate you coming home,” I said. “How’s Miley? You guys are still together, right?”

The last I could remember, they’d been blissfully in love.

“Yeah.” A slow grin tugged at his mouth. “We’re engaged.”

“Engaged?” I gasped. “How? When? Tell me everything…”

“I… uh, you were there…”

“I was?” The constant knot in my stomach tightened.

“Well, not at the proposal,” he chuckled, “but yeah, we came home last September, pep rally weekend, to tell you all.”

“I hope you got her a big diamond.” I smiled, but it felt all wrong.

Nothing about this situation was worth smiling over. I’d forgotten my own brother’s engagement.

What else had I forgotten?

Part of me was too scared to ask. And Mom and Dad’s attempts at filling in some of the blanks made it very clear I wasn’t ready to go there yet.

My eyes shuttered as I inhaled a deep breath. Things were messed up. I was messed up. But it could have been worse.

So much worse.

I had to hang onto that.

Because right now, it felt like all I had.

Ashleigh

The next couple of days were a never-ending cycle of trying, and failing, to remember the last ten months. My parents insisted on keeping me company, even when I didn’t want to talk, and my Aunt Felicity and Uncle Jason stopped by. But aside from Avery, none of my cousins or friends stopped by.

I was starting to think they didn’t want to see me because of how awkward it would be…

Until I heard my parents talking.

“What if it’s too soon?” Mom said quietly as they stood over by the window.

I was supposed to be asleep, but I’d woken up a few minutes ago to the sound of their voices.

“She’ll get suspicious if we keep them away any longer.”

“I just worry… you saw how she got when we tried to piece together the year for her.”

“It’s early days, Hailee. The doctor said we can’t rush it. We have to go at her pace.”

“Her whole senior year, Cam. Gone. How do we help her come to terms with that?”

Emotion rose inside me as I swallowed back the tears threatening to fall. Of course, this wasn’t only hard on me.

Fisting the sheets, I screwed my eyes shut tight and tried to will the memories back into existence. They were there somewhere, buried deep inside my psyche. But no matter how much I tried to find them, I couldn’t. As if the tether between me and them had just vanished.

“Ashleigh?” Mom said and I cracked an eye open to find her looming over me.

I hadn’t even realized they had moved closer, too focused on the impossible task of triggering a memory. Something to give me hope that it wasn’t all lost for good.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” The concern in her eyes almost gutted me.

“I… yeah.”

She took my hand and squeezed gently. “You were sleeping. We didn’t want to wake you.”

“I heard you,” I said.

“You did?” The worry on her face deepened.

“It’s okay, Mom. I get it. You want to protect me. But this is my life now.”

I couldn’t avoid people forever. And for as much as I didn’t know how to feel about seeing my best friends again, I also needed to see them.

I needed to know that not everything had changed.

“Lily is desperate to see you,” Dad said, dropping his arm over Mom’s shoulder. “She hasn’t stopped calling.”

“Lily can come by.” Of course she could, she was my best friend. Family. And if anyone would understand, it would be her.