RUINED HOPES

“Everyone’s worried sick,” Mom said, eventually breaking the heavy silence. “Avery spent the first three nights camped downstairs in the family room. He point blank refused to leave.”“H-he did?” My brother was supposed to be in Indiana, so it touched my heart knowing he’d rushed back to be at my side.“I don’t want him jeopardizing his junior year,” I said. Avery played football for Notre Dame and had a real shot at going pro. “Once he’s seen I’m okay, he needs to go back. I won’t be the reason he messes up his—”They shared a strange look.“What?” I asked.“Nothing, sweetheart.” Mom squeezed my hand.Just then, the doctor came into the room. At least, I assumed he was the doctor given his appearance. “Ah, Ashleigh, it’s so good to see you’re awake.” He greeted my parents before his attention came back to me. “I need to examine you, Ashleigh, if that’s okay?”“Yes, of course.”“It shouldn’t take long. Did your parents fill you in on what happened?”“I was in an accident.”“You were.

“That’s great, sweetheart. I’ll tell her you’re ready for visitors.”“Jeez, Dad. Don’t make it sound so weird.”He smiled but it slipped. “You’ll get through this, Ashleigh. I know you will.”I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Because there was no guarantee. Even if my memory returned, the doctor said I might have permanent gaps.Parts of my life… vanished.Forever.It was a lot to wrap my head around.But what choice did I have?“Ashleigh?” My cousin peeked around the door, and I smiled.“You’re here.”“I am.” She came over, pulling a stuffed toy from behind her back. “For you.”“Thank you.” I took the bear from her, running my hands over its soft fur.“How are you feeling?” Lily sat down in one of the chairs beside my bed.“I feel okay. The whole memory loss thing is weird but I’m dealing.”“I’m so sorry.” Tears glittered in her eyes. “I can’t even imagine—”“Please, don’t. I just want to talk. Mom said you and Kaiden are getting ready to move to Penn State. I can’t believe you

I knew what he wanted—he wanted things to be okay between all of us.But it was easy for him. He was Asher and Mya’s biological son. He was a part of them.I was… different.I appreciated everything they’d done for me over the years, appreciated that they’d cared enough to want to keep me and make it official by adopting me.But I wasn’t like them.The Bennets were a close-knit family. Aaron, his twin sister Sofia, and their parents Asher and Mya. They had a tight group of friends and family. A whole network of people in Rixon who had their backs.I’d been a part of their lives for seven years, but the truth was, I’d always been on the outside looking in. The piece of the puzzle that didn’t quite fit.And now I was the bitter disappointment.But that was my M.O., and no matter how hard I tried to break the cycle, I ended up back at square one. Sabotaging everything good in my life.“I keep thinking about Leigh, about what it must be like, waking up with ten months of your life just go

And I hated it.But I had two choices. I could choose to succumb to the gnawing devastation and grief I felt every time I let myself go there, or I could face this thing head on.As Mom and Dad walked me out of the hospital, giving me time to go at my own pace, I was somewhere in the middle. I didn’t want to let my new reality overshadow my future. But I also wasn’t ready to embrace the possibility that my memories—the last ten months of my life—were lost.“Ashleigh?” Mom touched my arm and I blinked up at her. “The car…” She motioned to where Dad’s SUV pulled up in front of us.At least some things were the same.A small smile played on my lips as I climbed into the back seat.“It’ll be good to get you home,” Mom said, glancing back at me as she buckled up. “The doctor said being in familiar surroundings might help.”“Hailee,” Dad said, quietly.“It’s okay, Dad. You guys don’t need to do that.” Whisper and confer as if they were plotting behind my back. I understood my diagnosis, the

And now… now I’d lost ten months of memories.And the distance between me and Ezra felt bigger than ever.Ashleigh“Are you sure about this?” Mom asked for the third time that morning.“It’s just the store, Mom.”“I know, sweetheart.” She gave me ‘the look.’ The one she cast my way every time I didn’t react the way she expected, as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for me to break down.But the truth was, I was going stir crazy.I’d been home three days and hadn’t seen outside the four walls of our house. Besides, it was a trip to the store with my mom.It seemed like a safe option.“Okay.” She breathed. “Okay.”“Mom.” I let out a weak chuckle. “It’s the store. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”“You’re just… you’re so calm about all of this.”Oh, I wasn’t. But I couldn’t let those feelings consume me. Because every time I gave them even an ounce of space, fear put me in a chokehold. And I didn’t have the luxury of sitting around, waiting to see if my memories returned. Not