"Hi, Shalom!" A very familiar voice says behind me and I turn around and blink a few times trying to clear my vision. I can't not be seeing what I'm seeing. Thomas?I knew leaving the house was a very bad idea, But Mom and Kane were sure it was important that I get out of the house. Breathe in the fresh air and take a break from taking care of the baby. But now here I am staring at my ex in a robe, about to get a massage, with a group of people I don't know. Again my brilliant fiance thought it would be good for me to get a massage. So he booked it and dropped me off here. He Well, I do know one person. My ex!"Hi, Thomas," I say and he smiles. I smile too because it feels weird to just stare and not respond. "It's so good to see you." He says taking a few steps closer to me. He leans in for a hug and I look at him awkwardly not sure if I want to do that. It feels a little awkward. "I didn't think I would see after our last conversation." He says embracing me. "I know what are
"Is that your baby?" He says picking my phone up so he can have a closer look."Yes." I say and he smiles looking at her."She's gorgeous." He says looking at me and then at the picture."Thank you. I had help." I say and he swipes left landing on Kane's picture."I see."He says swiping back to the previous picture. "Is it weird that I don't like him?" He asks and scoffs as soon as the words come out of his mouth."I think you know the answer to that question," I say hating this whole day already. Who's bright idea was it for me to come here in the first place? Oh yeah. My baby daddy."The thing is..." He says and I sigh. I don't know if I want to hear this. I came here to relax, get a few knots out of my body and then go home. I didn't come here for the godown memory lane with my ex package. The worst thing is I'm too nice to tell him to F off. I can't do that to him even though he deserves it."I know he's a gr
Thomas is sitting on the chair next to mine as we get foot massages. I close my eyes and lean back. I refuse to let this day go to waste. I choose to enjoy."So are you happy with him?" Thomas says choosing to take away from joy. "Yes." I say and he sighs making me look at him. "What does that mean?" I ask too shocked to ignore him. "I was hoping you don't like him so much." He says staring at me. "A guy can dream right?" He asks and I sigh."No, you can't" I say and he frowns. "Look, I messed up and...." He says and I raise .my hand to stop him'"I don't want to talk about this with you. There's no point in us rehashing old things." I say speaking softly so the lady doing my feet. doesn't feel uncomfortable. I can't do much about her overhearing but I can make sure she doesn't feel uncomfortable. "Shalom I just want closure." He says and it takes so much for me not to laugh out loud. Closure? Where was closure when he left me brokenhearted? It didn't matter then did it? Now that
“Not that my opinion counts but I think you should tell him.” Noni says looking at me closely. She stands up from my sofa placing her hands on her waist her face serious. She takes two steps backwards and then she takes three forward. She’s in her thinking mode; she’s looking for to tell me this without sounding judgmental. She’s thoughtful like that. “I don’t think so.” I say looking at her. She frowns at my words and she starts moving backwards again. “Shalom this is a baby we’re talking about here. What’s your plan? Are you going to hide the baby from him?” She asks coming to sit next to me. “I’m not hiding anything from him. He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant. How can I hide something that he doesn’t have prior knowledge of in the first place?” I say and I see the disappointment in her face. “That’s a whole lot of donkey shit and you know it.” She says and I look at her sad. “He deserves to know.” I don’t want to tell Kane. He and I have a complicated situation as is; adding a
“Welcome home.” My cousin Nathan says standing at his guest bedroom door. He looks at me for a long time, silent. He’s looking at me like I’m a stranger. I guess, I kind of am a stranger in a way. We haven’t seen each other in over six years. The last time we saw each other we were young; right at the cusp of becoming young adults. He’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure out who I am; I bet I have the same look on my face. “Thank you for this.” I say gesturing to the room. I walk to the bed and sit down, my body is tired from the flight but my mind is working over time. I’m having sensory overload with being back. My brain is trying to adjust to being back home. It feels like I’m having a culture shock. I know what South Africa is and it shouldn’t scare me but I’ve been away for so long that it feels like I have to relearn everything. My body feels off, I know it’s probably jet lag. “It’s nothing.” He says smiling at me. “I’ll be out of your hair soon,” I say and he shak
“What does your day look like today.” My mother asks walking into the kitchen. She sits at the kitchen table looking at me. I pour her a cup of coffee and walk to the table to give it to her. I sit down sipping on my own coffee. “I don’t have anything booked for today,” I say and she looks at me surprised. “Are you okay?” she asks concerned. I rarely have any off days so she automatically thinks that I must be sick or something “I’m okay. I just thought I should give myself a day off.” I say and she smiles at me. “Do you think you can stick to the day off?” She asks skeptical because she knows me very well. “I’m going to try,” I say truthfully. I work from home as a virtual assistant so it’s hard to take time off. I often struggle to find a balance between working from home and taking time out. I wake up and the work is right there. I just can’t switch off; the only thing that puts me off is when I’m too tired to get out of bed or if I’m sick. I know that neither of these reasons
2 years later “Hi.” I say when Jay opens the door. He smiles at me warmly. “”Hi, come in.” He says moving back to let me in. we hug and then he closes the door. “You look good.” I say walking behind him down the hallway. “I do? Thank you.” He says turning back to look at me. “I started going to the gym.” He says smiling at me. “I can tell.” I say smiling at him too. He really does look good. He lost a lot of weight. I can hear a lot of voices talking at the end of the hallway. I can tell he invited a lot of people. “I want to go back to my university body.” He says when walking into the dining room. I enter the room last and my eyes scan the people at the table. I recognize a few of them but I don’t know a lot of the others. “You were really buff then.” I say smiling at the many faces staring at me. “Hi everyone.” I say at the awkward silence in the room. They’re staring at me open mouthed and they’re making me feel self-conscious. I never know what to do when people stare at me
“I’m glad Jay convinced you to stay.” Kane says sitting on the sofa Jay just vacated. “He was pretty insistent I stay longer.” I say looking at him, feeling a bit weird. I’ve thought about this moment so many times. I’ve spent hours imagining what it would be like to meet him after all these years. But nothing could’ve prepared me for what I’m feeling right now. It feels like I’m the same girl that fell in love with him so many years ago. A decade ago to be exactly, I have the same feelings I would get when he was around. I feel so much excitement, joy, curiosity and intrigue. The only difference is there is a new feeling that plagues me; incompetence. He feels and looks different. He carries himself different; he has this air about him that makes me feel like I don’t belong. I’m struggling with that feeling because Kane is the only person I felt understood me. “I asked him to keep you here.” He says smiling guiltily. “So that’s why he bolted out of here when you walked in,” I say