How could someone possibly love someone with doubt and secrets? Paris Felicity Rivera lost her memories, yet she didn’t cared. Sapat na sa kanya ang masasakit na pinagdaanan sa puder ng kanyang ama at ng pamilya nito. Her father would almost auction her hand for marriage to different bachelors, and all she wished was to get out of that life. At sa kabaliwang iyon, alam niyang wala na siyang takas. Thus, she decided that if she had to get married to Chester Del Fuego, she will have the decision regarding her body. And she’d give it to the man he loved the most; Chancellor. But… did she really? For Chancellor was a Del Fuego too, and he had the same face as his two other brothers. He had the same exact face as Chester, the man Paris was supposed to marry.
View MoreI couldn’t recall how much I cried for a few days because of that. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari, or what triggered them back, but the memories kept flowing like a river that could not be stopped. And along that, I could feel surges of emotion that I could not name. Halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko, and I don’t know if I could even contain all of them. I don’t even know how many days it has been. I was only brought meals inside my room and was taken care of. Minsan binibisita ako nina Daddy at Tita Faureen sa kwarto, but I don’t have the energy to talk to them. When I look at my father, all I can do is cry. Kaya nang lumabas ako sa kwarto, they were all surprised.“Paris? How are you feeling? I should’ve just brought you some food for–!” Napatigil si Tita Faureen sa pagsalubong sa akin nang mapansin niya kung ano ang nakakuha ng atensyon ko pagbaba ko ng hagdan. My lips parted at the sight of tons of flowers in the living room. Some are withered, and some are being saved by Tita
“Don’t bother. I can manage,” I said and waved my phone to show him that I’d just book myself a cab. Wala rin naman akong planong makituloy sa bahay ng kung sino mang kaibigan o kamag-anak. I’ll just stay at a hotel for the next few days to relax and think.Wala rin naman akong choice kundi tanggapin ang pamilya nina Felix sa amin. I just need to calm the fuck down or else I’d add fuel to the damn fire. Hindi ko alam kung anong naging reaksyon niya. I feel dizzy and tired that I just want to lay on a bed. Isa pa masyado na akong napahiya sa lalaking nakaupo sa harap ko. I have to leave before things gets worse kaya minabuti kong talikuran na siya at lumabas ng club.His response to my offer makes me feel very damn awful. That is so fucking embarrassing!Pero nasabi ko na, eh. And as stupid as it may sound, I’m not regretting it. I do not regret it, because if he’d accept the offer, I’ll gladly be his girlfriend.Damn, I really am drunk.Sinikap kong panatilihing mulat ang mga mata ko
“My goodness, Paris! Where were you?! And why the hell did you do that?” I breathed heavily when Felix was the one who confronted me right when we got back home. I simply smirked at him and continued sipping on the hot coffee that was served by the maids. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko dahil sa totoo lang, siya lang ang naglakas loob na lumapit sa akin at komprontahin ako – something that I expected from my father, so that I could talk and rant to him.But I guess, they just didn’t care. Maybe they’re fed up with me.“Who cares?” I asked. “And you definitely know why I did what I did. Alam kong naiintindihan mo ‘ko, ‘cousin’.” I said, emphasizing the way I have addressed him.Felix only sighed and sat in front of me. Through the years, he has stood up as my older brother. He was the one who understood me and my whines – or that’s what I thought.He’s always been close to my Dad because he’s been close to me. Iyon naman pala… Dad wanted to marry his mother. Felix didn’t appr
My lips parted when I heard his confession. Never have I imagined him saying those in my face. Para akong paulit-ulit na sinasaksak sa dibdib habang patuloy kong hinihiling na sana mali ako ng pagkakarinig. I was hoping and praying so hard that my ears are only messing around with me dahil kung totoo ang naririnig ko ay hinding hindi ko sya mapapatawad!“You didn’t… what?” I repeated, hoping that I had heard the wrong thing.Pero para siyang tutang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin. The pain in his eyes made me want to slap him so hard. Siya pa ang nasasaktan ngayon? Bakit?!“You didn’t… what now, Chester?” pag-uulit ko.He breathed heavily and mustered all his strength to face me. “I-I’m sorry–!”“You didn’t want me to remember? Who the fuck are you to decide?!” I shouted at him. Sinubukan niyang hawakan ang pareho kong kamay para pakalmahin ako pero hindi na uubra sa akin ang ginagawa niya! Every time we come across a problem like this, he always tries to tame me using his sweet words and
Chancellor left the room, and I almost fainted because of shortness of breath. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya, at ayaw kong maniwala!How come he didn’t know? O baka naman itinatanggi niya lang din? But why the fuck would he deny such thing gayong magkaibigan kami!Or were my memories distorted? “Impossible,” I said. Parang sumasakit ang ulo ko sa frustration. There’s no fucking way I could be wrong, right?O baka naman pati sarili kong memorya ay hindi ko na rin kayang pagkatiwalaan gaya ng ibang tao sa paligid ko?!Tang ina!“Goddamn it! Damn!” I pulled my hair in frustration as my tears rolled down my cheeks. I don’t know what to fucking believe anymore! It has been a long time since I had flashbacks like this, at ganito pa?!“Argh!” I cried out of resentment and grief because I really didn’t know what to do anymore.“P-Paris–!”I sniffed and wiped my tears when I heard a familiar voice. Chester entered the room and attended me immediately, pero isa siya sa napakaraming t
“What are you doing here?” he stood in front of the door with a shocked face. The rain poured heavily, and I really couldn’t remember how I got there. Ang alam ko lang, ayaw ko nang umuwi. Ayaw ko na ulit umuwi.“I hate them. I hate them all!” umiiyak kong sambit. “I was just thinking about dad, hindi niya ba naiintindihan ‘yon?!”“Love…” he didn’t mind the storm and went outside to hug me. Sa kabila ng malakas na ulan at malamig na klima sa Tagaytay, he managed to get out of his rest house para lang yakapin ako sa gitna ng malakas na ulan.“Chance…” I cried. “Please let me stay here, Chance.”Bumuntong hininga siya bago ako niyakap nang mas mahigpit. “Oh, Paris. Come here.”He took my bag that has nothing else in it but a wallet and a phone. Marahan niya akong inakay papasok ng kanyang rest house. Somehow, this always felt like home. The first time he brought me here sure did give me comfort.“How did you manage to come here, hmm? It’s dangerous.”“I… I don’t know. I took a cab, and
I put the plane ticket going to Quebec back into my purse nang maisip na hindi ko naman planong pumunta roon. When I arrived at the airport earlier, I immediately bought a ticket to Quebec under my name and took a huge amount of money into my bank account.Knowing Chester and Daddy, their connections are enough to find me. Siguro nga, hindi pa ako nakakarating sa pupuntahan ko ay naroon na sila. Afterall, I don’t have any strings to pull anymore. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung may mapagkakatiwalaan pa ba ako. I don’t have any cover-ups to use anymore, so I have no other choice but to hide and deceive them as much as I can.“Dito na po, Ma’am.” Parang muli akong natauhan nang marinig ang sabi ng tricycle driver. Arriving at a hotel here in Lipa, Batangas, kaagad akong bumaba at nagbayad. Hindi ko alam kung anong sumagi sa isip ko at dito ako nagpunta. It just feels right and natural for me to come to Batangas. Siguro madalas ako rito noon?Isa pa, going somewhere near while they try to loo
“To be with each other. To plan our future. To get married someday.”Nagpaulit-ulit iyon sa pandinig ko na parang sirang plaka. Unlike the usual days where I feel my head pounding, hindi ko matukoy kung bakit ngayon… puso ko ang kumikirot dahil sa pamilyar na pakiramdam. There were flashes coming before my eyes as I was in that particular scenario. It was as if it was real.No… it was real. It ain’t that clear pero nararamdaman kong totoo iyon!And it’s making me question everything. How is this possible? How is it possible for him to hide these from me all these years?!“Is this a joke?” I asked, trying to gaslight myself that this is not real. Na baka paraan niya lang ‘to para mapabalik ako sa kaniya. But more than half of me believes on what he’s saying!Dahil ako mismo, nararamdamang totoo iyon!Pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kailangan, at paano niya kinayang itago?! This is not just a mere information… this is a huge part of my life!And the way his eyes glimmered with sad
I woke up in the unfamiliar coldness of the bed. Hindi ako sanay. It felt like something was missing. More like someone. When I opened my eyes, I wasn't even surprised anymore when I saw her gone on the other side of the bed. Pero kahit hindi na ako nagulat, hindi ko pa rin napigilan ang kirot sa dibdib ko. She really hates me right now, doesn’t she?I sighed heavily and almost wanted to pull my hair out of fucking frustration. I should’ve expected this. I should’ve been ready for it.I took the white polo that was crumpled on the bedside table, wearing it without minding the lipstick stain on it. I tried looking around, eyeing if there were any traces of her or her whereabouts. But with her last night's clothes tidied up, and her most intimidating, yet addicting perfume filling up the room, I already knew she was somewhere.But where could she be? Will she meet someone?Hated to admit it, but that was the perfume she wore during our dates. Kaya mas lalo tuloy akong hindi napanatag ku
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