“I’ve been looking for you since I turned fifteen. I was already finished with my training and I could focus on looking for you. I went everywhere. By the time I was twenty I had lost hope. I thought you were dead, that my mate had died before we met,” he says, his voice is a lot softer than before, but still deep, and the vibrations from his chest it sending shivers down my spine.
“I don’t understand,” I whisper.
I find myself leaning my cheek against his warm chest. He is so warm, even though it’s cold outside. He is very aesthetically pleasing, too, which is of course a bonus, but I’m still unsure if I even believe this. Did he spend five years looking for me?
“What don’t you understand, little mate?” he asks.
“Everything.”
He sighs, but somehow his arms tighten around me.
“Why don’t we do some explaining today, then? Dad told me you didn’t know that much, but I thought he was exaggerating,” he says, and pulls back from me. His hands are on my shoulders now, and he holds me, staring into my eyes with his deep green ones. “Come on, let’s shift. I’ll take you somewhere, and I’ll tell you all about being a wolf.”
He smiles, and takes another step back. His smile turns into a grin, and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna shift right in front of me, so I grab his hand, before he gets too far away. I suddenly feel embarrassed, too. Everything that’s normal for these people are so foreign for me, even though we’re the same.
“Azaire,” I plead, feeling weird when his name leaves my lips, “I can’t.”
“You can’t what, mate?” he questions, stepping closer to me again, brushing some of my hair away from my face.
“I can’t shift,” I tell him, and look away. It’s so embarrassing, when he can obviously do it so effortlessly. “I only shift when there’s a full moon, and even then I don’t do it on purpose.”
Silence.
More silence.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have let him shift and run wherever he wanted, and then I should have gone up to my guest room, packet my stuff and left. It gets harder to leave every second I’m out here with him, for some reason.
“Ride on my back, then,” he suddenly says, still smiling at me.
Then I hear his bones breaking. I swear I didn’t hear that yesterday when Alessandro and Marco shifted in front of me. It has to be because my ears are so focused on him, right? I don’t even get the chance to tell him no, before he’s standing in front of me on all fours covered in thick, brown fur, with specks of white in them here and there. He looks so big and strong, and I’m suddenly even more aware of my own fragile state. He stares at me, just waiting for me to do something, I guess, and I kind of wish I could communicate with him somehow. I don’t speak wolf, do I? Is that even a thing?
I reluctantly take a step forward, and pet the fur on his back, reaching up. He isn’t too big, but he is still taller than me, he’s probably the same height as he was in his human form, but still, I’m not going to be able to just jump onto his back.
As if he reads my mind, he lays down on the grass, and I can hear every straw bend and break once again. I close my eyes, totally aware that my “mate” is waiting for me to climb on top of his wolf-back, but it’s really surreal that this is happening. I thought that I was the only one of my kind for five years. This is a little too much, but right when I’m about to turn around and leave him, he turns his head around, and looks at me. His green eyes look even deeper now, and they remind me of the human that just a few minutes earlier begged me to stay, because he spent so many years looking for me. Or, he didn’t look for me, he looked for his mate, who happens to be me.
I take a deep breath, and grab a hold of the fur in his neck, before I swing one of my legs over his back. It feels sort of degrading having to do this, like I’m a little human who can’t do shit, and has to rely on her werewolf-boyfriend for everything. Except, he isn’t my boyfriend, and I’m not a human.
Maybe I should stay. Just until he can teach me to use my werewolf-abilities at will, and then I’ll go.
The wolf underneath me stands up, and I hold on tight. He didn’t tell me to, but I feel like I have to hold on. Hopefully, it doesn’t hurt him too much. A little is okay, because he is being really forward with me for no reason, so he probably doesn’t mind. He walks slowly at first, towards the edge of the forest, but as soon as we’re past the first tree, he starts running.
He’s fast, and I can feel the muscles in his body move as he runs through the forest. I immediately laid down on his back, and gripped around his neck when he increased his speed. I’m still holding on for dear life, as I watch the blurs that once were trees go past us. Or, we’re probably the ones going past them..
Finally, he slows down, and lays down on the ground. I’m still holding onto him, and I’m about to roll off, when his bones starts cracking again, and he shifts back into a human underneath me. I stare at him in shock, as he turns around on his back, making me lay on top of his stomach, and I quickly move away from him. It somehow feels more intimate when he’s human, like I’m not supposed to do that at all.. He chuckles once, after I’ve gotten to my feet, and I mumble some words I’d rather not repeat, in my shame for holding onto him like that.
I feel mortified.
“It’s okay, little mate,” his deep voice says, as I hear him stand up too. “I just hoped you’d want to hold onto me like that, like this too, but I guess we’ve got a long way to go.”
“Ass,” I mutter, a little louder.
“Snarky. I like that,” he says, and I clamp my eyes shut.
Fuck. I hoped he wouldn’t like it.
I turn around to face away from Azaire, and look at my surroundings. We’re in a clearing inside the never-ending forest. It looks almost like someone has made it this way, with the tree stumps scattered around, a log there, and a fire-pit in the middle. A few meters away from me is a treehouse, leaning against one of the bigger trees surrounding the clearing. It looks like it’s filled with comic books and toys, and I take a step closer to it, just to see if I’m right.“I used to come out here with dad when I was a kid, when he had patrol,” Azaire says, but he doesn’t move. “Dad and his beta, Paul, built it for me and Paul’s son Tyler, who is my best friend. You should meet him, and his mate. I have a feeling you’d hit it off.”I turn around and frown at him.“Just because I’m supposedly your mate, it means I’d become friends with your friend&rs
My heart seems to relax a little as I listen to his words and stare into his eyes. His last words feels a little like a stab to the burnt outside of it, though, making me flinch. I try to move my head, but he won’t let me. He holds my head in place, and he keeps staring into my eyes. He’s way too intense for me to handle right now, even though I’m glad I’m already on my knees. His smoldering eyes would bring me down if not. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I never knew I liked, in a man, but he won’t get me this easily. I still need to leave.“Why don’t you try to focus on the feelings you have when you’re a wolf?” he suggests, still staring at me.“Uhm,” I utter, trying my best to word my feelings as a wolf. “I’m free? I don’t know, honestly. I never remember much.”I clear my throat and look down at his
“Sweetie, how did training go?”I look up from my packed backpack to see Soraya standing right next to me. I didn’t even notice it, because my hearing is focused on Azaire in the other room. Just behind that wall. He’s pacing back and forth, growling now and then. It’s distracting as hell.“Not good,” I admit, and send her a small smile. “Thank you for everything, Mrs. Kaios, but I should go.”I sniffle, and look back down at my backpack. I’m about to close it, when Soraya snorts next to me.This time I hear Azaire snort on the other side of the wall. He apparently didn’t think it was that much fun doing that fucking puppy-training on me. I roll my eyes and look up at Soraya again, with a kind smile.“I appreciate it, but I just heard him laugh at that. He doesn’t want to train me,” I say, and rea
I stop to put on the shoes Soraya let me borrow earlier today, but Azaire seems to have other plans, as he spins around with his back towards me.“Hop on,” he ushers.“What? No!” I protest, and bend down to put the shoes on.“We don’t have time for this, I’ll carry you,” he says, pulling me up again. “And I think you prefer a piggyback ride instead of me carrying you bridal style.”He smirks at me, and I scrunch my nose up. He is right, but we’re wasting time. I could have put on my shoes by now if he didn’t complain so much.“No,” I tell him firmly, and rip my hand from his hold.He sighs excessively, but waits for me as I slip them on, and I send him an over-exaggerated smile as I’m done, and brush past him to exit the house. Once I’m a few meters away from the h
I stare at my two hole cards for a moment, hiding them with my hand so Azaire won’t see. He’s tried a few times already, but I always shoot him a glare. One time I even slapped his arm to get him to look away, and that seemed to work for a few rounds. Alexander is awesome, though. He’s loud and dramatic, but he’s amazing. He’s got the most chips right now, while Aiden is almost out, and Azaire and I are about the same.My cards are actually kind of good. I have the ten and Queen of spades. I can only hope the community cards are just as good, and that I’ll end up with something awesome, so I can beat Azaire and take all his chips. I’m quite competitive, which I had forgotten during these past five years, being on my own. We all place our bets, and Aiden eventually flips over the first three community cards, the flop, revealing a Jack and Ace of spades and a three of diamonds.Hope builds inside me as
I don’t know what else to say. Maybe I feel like I can trust him because he knows what it’s like for me.“Azaire told me you couldn’t mindlink because you weren’t a part of their pack,” I say, not really sure where I wanted to go with that. I bite my lip and stop, as I look at a painting on one of the walls. It’s got a lot of yellow, and a few other colors faded in the corners, but the star of the show is a black heart, dead in the center of the canvas. I love it.“I’m not,” Alexander sighs, and scrunches his nose up again. “I don’t know where my pack is. Aiden has been trying to help me find it since we met, but there’s no luck. It’s like they’ve disappeared from the face of the earth.”“I’m sorry,” I mutter, and look into his black-as-night eyes. I smile a little, and press my head into his shoulder, for a
I’m pacing back and forth inside of the guest room, in Azaire’s family home. I don’t know what to do. Should I ask Alexander what his birthmark looks like? Should I keep my mouth shut about that until I know more? Uno probably knows something, right?“Holy shit, Yohanna, can you sit down? I’m trying to sleep,” Azaire’s voice cuts through my thoughts as he speaks from his own room. I sigh, and sit down on the edge of my bed.“Sorry,” I whisper, knowing he can hear me.My ears still perk up whenever my wolf-instincts know he’s near, but it’s not anywhere near as intense as the first day. We’re just now sitting on opposite ends of our shared wall, while I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’ve kept my distance from him ever since I saw it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me yesterday. His gaze haunted me in my dreams, and I already dreamt
“How do I mindlink my pack?” I ask him, and look down towards the flowers to distract myself from him.“Why don’t we do the basics first, huh?” he says, putting his arms around my waist now. “You used your vision, right? And your hearing is getting better, so why don’t we focus on smelling today, and if you can do that, maybe we’ll see if you can use them all together.”I take a step away from him, pushing his arms away from my body, and sigh.“I just want to know where my real family is, and my pack,” I say, “I never knew this was how any of this worked, but now that I know, I just want to know if they’re out there, and if I can mindlink them, I can find them.”“Yohanna,” Azaire sighs, and closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s trying to figure out the exact words to use. “Mindlinking is pre