Chapter 9

I turn around to face away from Azaire, and look at my surroundings. We’re in a clearing inside the never-ending forest. It looks almost like someone has made it this way, with the tree stumps scattered around, a log there, and a fire-pit in the middle. A few meters away from me is a treehouse, leaning against one of the bigger trees surrounding the clearing. It looks like it’s filled with comic books and toys, and I take a step closer to it, just to see if I’m right.

“I used to come out here with dad when I was a kid, when he had patrol,” Azaire says, but he doesn’t move. “Dad and his beta, Paul, built it for me and Paul’s son Tyler, who is my best friend. You should meet him, and his mate. I have a feeling you’d hit it off.”

I turn around and frown at him.

“Just because I’m supposedly your mate, it means I’d become friends with your friend’s mate, just like that?” I ask him, suddenly full of fire for his assumption that since I’m a girl, I’d be friends with another girl, no questions asked.

I don’t have friends, I don’t do friends. Not even before I was kicked out. I had a few friends, but no one was my best friend. That spot was reserved for my grandmother, who always supported me. I could talk to her about anything.

“Now who’s assuming?” he says, arching an eyebrow at me. “Tyler’s gay. His mate is a dude. He’s pretty much you, only louder and, well, with a dick.”

“How would you know I don’t have a dick?” I ask, ignoring the fact that I was stupid to assume anything, obviously, even though I’m a little embarrassed by it.

He doesn’t say anything yet, he just looks down at my crotch with his eyebrows raised, and his lips quirked up in an amused smile.

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind, but there’s no bulge in your pants, so either it’s really small, or my little mate has a pussy.”

His smile seems a little too smug, and I really wish I had a very big one between my legs right now, so I could whip it out and show him. That would probably push him a little further away from me, right?

“I’m not your mate,” I tell him. “The whole thing is bullshit. Why would every werewolf have one out there, but humans don’t? Or cats, or dogs? It’s too good to be true.”

I watch at his face turns from his annoying grin, to a more disappointed look, and then back to halfway amused again when I utter my last sentence.

“Too good to be true, huh?” he questions, and steps closer to me. “First of all, it’s not bullshit. I know you feel it. When I’m here your ears only focus on me, right? And when we touch, there’s sparks and euphoria, and the first time you heard my voice…”

He steps even closer now, staring deeply into my eyes as he does, and then he leans towards me. I’m sure he’s gonna kiss me, but he doesn’t. In stead I feel his bearded cheek against mine, and his arms are once again around my waist, holding me in place.

“You got shivers down your spine, didn’t you?” he continues, making his voice even deeper on purpose, which in return makes goosebumps erupt on my skin. Even places I didn’t know I could get goosebumps.

I fight the trembling that my spine is threatening to do, and clear my throat.

“Why would I feel all that?” I ask him, maintaining my façade.

I try to take a step back, but I stumble, and his arms tighten around me to keep me from falling. He looks at me, his smile is gone, and his eyes are narrowed as they move all over my face in search for an answer to the question I just asked him.

“You don’t?” he asks, swallowing.

My ears are so focused on him I can hear him swallowing, and I can see his Adam’s apple bob when he does. The second I start to think about telling him no, that I don’t feel those things, my heart starts to hurt. Really hurt, like it’s burning up from the inside. I stare at him, and somehow I think he knows why this is happening, but I don’t dare ask. Instead, I just shake my head at him, and bite my tongue so I won’t hiss in pain.

It’s awful. Am I dying?

He lets go of my waist, and steps back.

“Does your chest hurt right now, Yohanna?” he asks, his voice is suddenly dark, and filled with anger. “It better, because I don’t fucking believe you.”

I whimper. It hurts so badly, I fall to my knees in front of him, and I put my hands up towards my chest. I’m having such a hard time figuring out how he knew, and at the same time maintaining my lie in the midst of it all.

“It’s not rocket science, lone wolf,” he says, and he kneels in front of me. His hands cups my face, and I don’t know what he’s feeling. It’s a swarm of different emotions swimming through his emerald irises, making me confused and fuzzy at the same time. “You can’t lie to your mate about your feelings, it’ll make your heart burn. The elder wolves tell us tales about a man who once spontaneously combusted in the middle of his village after telling his mate he hated her. They say it’s to protect the sacred bond between two souls, but I say it’s to prevent liars from hurting their only chance at a safe home.”