Murdered is Better than Raped

It was so horrible to remember. That woman, Mrs Souza, my own neighbour, tried to touch me. In fact, she didn't just try, but she managed to get what she wanted; touching me.

I got along well with her because she had been our neighbour for a long time. She is a 32-year-old woman who lives in solitary. They said that she was married and lived with her husband before her husband died in an accident. The neighbours and people who live in the Seiraah town continue to gossip about her. They say she is the one who killed her own husband in the accident, but there is not enough evidence, so she was released from an accusation of the prison sentence. They also say that she is a mad and dangerous woman. My mother and I never believed the rumours because Mrs Souza was a perfect neighbour. She is also friendly and fun.

One weekend, she visited our house and said it would be her last visit because she will move to another city tomorrow. At first, nothing strange happened. Until she asked me to help her pack the things at her house, she took me to her house, and I did so without the slightest suspicion. After packing a few boxes, she asked me to take a break and drink the lemonade she made in the kitchen; I did.

I didn't know what was really going on, I felt an excruciating pain in the back of my head, and suddenly, I just found myself in an unfamiliar room. I didn't know where I was until Mrs Souza appeared from behind the door of this strange room.

"Miss Souza?"

"Are you awake, Erwin?"

“I… Where am I? And why did you lock the door?” I said after seeing her lock the door.

I thought that she was a crazy woman were just rumours; But, she was truly a crazy woman. However, she did not commit acts of violence against me. Instead, she undressed in front of me. Even though I was 13 years old and had my first wet dreams, I understood what she wanted.

I was frightened and began to take a stance to escape from there. But as if swallowed by fear, my body shivered and weakened. I sat back down and hugged my knees. What happened? I'm not usually like this. I always practice taekwondo diligently, some even invited me to participate in taekwondo competitions, but my father refused. He said, "Winning a sports competition doesn't help to enter the business department of the university of utopia, just focus on your grades". However, where are the taekwondo exercises I learned? Isn't this the best time to use those techniques?

"Now, take off your clothes, Erwin," she said after she was fully naked. Her body will not excite anyone at all.

I didn't do what she said. I kept quiet.

"Listen carefully, Erwin. You don't want to get your mother in trouble, do you? If you don't do what I want, I will scream, and you will be accused of being a rapist. You don't want it to do you?"

For me, being stabbed to death by a psychopath is better than being raped. And being raped is better than making my mother suffer because her child is accused of being a rapist. For God's sake, I don't want to bother my mother anymore; I don't know what my father would do if I were accused of raping someone.

I was so scared that my tears flowed. Why didn't she kill me? At least I will die and remember nothing.

Mrs Souza came up to me and wiped my tears.

"Relax, Erwin, the lemonade you drink will make you like what I did to you."

While taking off my clothes, she said to me:

“You know, Erwin.. I've been interested in you for such a long time, and I've been looking forward to this moment. You're so handsome. You are much more handsome than your father. Your voice, your golden hair, and your diamond eyes are all so beautiful. Don't be afraid, and I won't hurt you."

She laid me down after she made me naked. I just cried and kept crying. Somebody help me. She kissed my lips and then kissed my whole body. The world suddenly seemed to end when she was on top of me. Our bodies have fused.

"Just relax," she said.

I don't remember what it felt like; the world was in grey.

She let me go after she finished touching me. Luckily, she did move, and I never saw her again until now.

It took me a long time to forget what Mrs Souza did to me that night.

My life improved when I moved to the capital. In Utopia, things become even clearer. I came to a utopian to enter university. By then, I had realized why Mrs. Souza was attracted to me as other girls were. They nicknamed me “The eyes of Poseidon” because of my blue eyes, which they said were more beautiful than the ocean, a compliment I was used to receiving. It is not that different with a girl from our campus nicknamed “Aphrodite's looks” because of her beauty.

I was 18 years old when I came to Utopia. They say I have a beautiful physique. My height at that time was 184 cm, my hair was blonde and shiny like gold. And because of taekwondo and other sports that I keep doing, I have a fit and muscular body. I even got an eight-pack in my belly.

At that time, I was dating a girl in the biology department; her name was Anne Clarianes. She wasn't that girl nicknamed “Aphrodite's looks”. I don't like “Aphrodite's looks” even though she is the prettiest girl in our university. I prefer girls like Anne. Anne is beautiful too, and she has a tall body which I like. For some reason, I prefer tall girls to petite girls. I like girls who are taller than my shoulders. It's hard to find girls like that; even my male friends are only as high as my ear.

There were times when I visited a nightclub so often and did a one night stand there before I finally met Anne Clarianes at that nightclub.