different kind of update

I had plans to write this morning, but instead, I had the dumb idea to let the boys clean the roof of the shed. long story short, by the end, I was covered in dirty water and leaves, and I took rain pipe off and put it back together. I have no idea why I did this myself, lol, but it took forever.

but no update today because I didn’t have time to finish the chapter.

As a consolation price, I did write two more chapters of The Luna’s Prophecy that I wrote a few nights ago.

so chapter 2 and 3. they're still drafts, and things might change. but for now, I'm thinking of Orion to be mixed race. I haven't decided what race, though, lol. but not completely white, and in my head, he kind of looks like Chris Brown or Zayn from One direction. this tattooed guy, with a nose piercing. but tall and muscular. I am trying to find the perfect picture, but I am unsuccessful until now. so maybe once I do publish the story, I'll change the way he looks.

2. Crazy

Orion’s pov

The moment I saw her stare at the fish tank, I felt an instant connection. It was fucking crazy how drawn I was to her.

I stopped myself. No, don’t use those words, I reminded myself. Erin told me plenty of times I should stop calling myself crazy, but it wasn’t easy. Especially since doctors clearly did find me mentally unstable.

I stepped back from the fish tank, needing to distance myself.

They tested me while I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital, and their conclusion was that I had a psychosis when I turned eighteen, most likely due to genetic reasons. I didn’t know much about my mother, but some of the delusions I had were directly linked to the stories she used to tell me when I was young.

Perhaps that’s why Mom left—because she was dealing with her own mental health. I wish I knew, but she didn’t say a word to anyone. My mother just disappeared without a trace, and although Erin and I both told the police it was unlike my mother to leave like that, they refused to investigate any further and told us she had abandoned me. And when she didn’t come back, I started to believe they might have been right. Or she had died. If she cared, she would have come back for me, right?

I’ll probably never know why she left and where she is now. Just like I’ll never know who my dad is.

"Orion!" Erin called me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I had to focus on my job, so I pushed the thoughts about mom out of my head. The Sunflower Motel wasn’t big, but it was home to me and the only place willing to hire a former convict who spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

Everyone who lived in this town knew what I had done, but I didn’t want to leave. Erin and her son Ezra were the closest thing I had to family, and I needed that right now. I had only gotten out a few months ago, and they had been nothing but supportive, despite my past.

Ezra was born deaf, and when I was young, he taught me sign language. Ezra was awesome, and even when I lived with a foster family, he tried to keep in touch with me. He wrote me letters when I was locked up, and he and Erin visited me in the hospital. He was a true fucking friend.

He was a few years older than me, had his own business working in IT and had his own house, but would often stop by the motel to have dinner with his mother and me.

[Something’s up with her. Erin signed, [I think she’s in trouble.]

The young woman seemed oblivious to Erin signing behind her back, and I tried to get her attention by asking her if I could take her bag, but she seemed too busy staring at me. Did the pretty redhead have a crush on me?

She followed behind me as I took her to her room. I took the key from her hand, and my fingers brushed against hers. It almost felt like there was static electricity, but instead of it hurting, it felt good. It was crazy; I had never felt anything like it. Sorry, not crazy, odd.

I opened her door, and she smiled at me, "thank you. Orion is your name, right?"

I didn’t even notice the bruising on her neck and some faint bruising on her arm and eye before now, because I had been too busy admiring how beautiful she looked. She had gorgeous green eyes that looked even brighter because of her red hair. She had a cute button nose and lips that looked absolutely kissable. Her face was perfect, and she had a body to match. The young woman was wearing a summer dress that emphasized her curves and long legs.

"And your name is..." I asked, with one hand on the doorframe. I was tempted to step even closer to the woman, but I held myself back. It wasn’t safe for her to be around me anyway.

She looked up at me, "My name is Izzy."

"Well, I hope you enjoy your stay here at the Sunflower Motel. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask." I said, looking down at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was shorter than me, but most people are, so I was used to it. My height and size meant that people left me alone in prison and the hospital, so I didn’t mind occasionally hitting my head against a doorframe or having trouble finding clothes that fit me.

Izzy blushed, which made her look even cuter. "Okay, thank you."

I walked away, and Izzy’s eyes followed me. Yeah, she definitely had a crush on me. Too bad I had a conscience, or I would have taken advantage of her crush. Besides, sleeping with hotel guests wasn’t something Erin allowed, although a few male and female guests had asked me to join them in their rooms from time to time, which I always politely declined.

I wasn’t ready for a relationship and wasn't looking for a fling either. I was focusing on getting better and making sure I proved Erin was right to trust me.

I spent the rest of the day focusing on work. It was my job to handle the maintenance of the motel, carry bags, and help unload the groceries for the kitchen staff. Our motel provided complimentary breakfast, but our restaurant also provided lunch or dinner for those willing and able to pay.

It sometimes felt like I was a glorified handyman and janitor, but at least I got paid and had a place to live. Maybe once I got myself together and had some money saved up, I could think about a different career path. I only had my high school diploma and some skills I picked up in prison before I was sent away. But for now, this was enough.

I grabbed some tools, ready to tackle the boiler that had been acting up. I had no clue if I could fix it, but YouTube and some common sense might do the trick. It was a lot cheaper than hiring an actual expert, and usually I’d be able to manage the small repairs myself.

I had my phone in my hand, already looking for the right DIY video, when I bumped straight into Izzy. I let my phone drop on the floor, making sure Izzy didn’t fall back. She held on to my shirt tightly, and for a few seconds, I could swear the voice was back inside my head.

‘Orion….please listen.’

‘Go away.’ I tried to tell him, pushing him back. He had called himself Knox. I mean, I called him Knox? He was inside my head, so I must have named him. It didn't matter. He wasn't real.

"I’m so sorry!" Izzy called out, and I quickly let her go.

It might have let go a little too fast because she almost looked hurt when I practically flinched at her touch. She had done nothing wrong, but I didn’t want to hear that voice again. I had been doing so well. I couldn’t go back. I wouldn’t fucking go back.

She grabbed my phone from the floor, and the screen had a large crack. Shit. I have no money to fix that right now.

"I can pay for it." Izzy offered, but I was pretty sure if she had money she wouldn’t be staying here. Erin tried her best to make this motel nice, but it wasn’t a five star hotel, that was for sure.

"It was my fault; I shouldn't have been watching videos on my phone and walking around. Don’t worry about it." I tried my best to act like it wasn’t important. I wanted to go back to my room and get my pills. Hearing that voice again scared me. I scoffed; if people knew that the big tattooed guy was scared shitless of some voice inside his head, they’d probably think it was a joke. I was the one people feared, but they had no clue what was happening inside my head.

Izzy nodded her pretty head. Her red, wavy hair fell in front of her face. "Okay. I’m sorry, though. Really." she muttered, her voice sounding almost sad.

3. Leave

Izzy’s pov

For years, Jordan has called me names. It started with making fun of my hair—the obvious carrot jokes. Jokes about how ugly I was or how dumb. And since he was supposed to be my future mate and he was saying these words, others would join him. Even my brother Finnegan would join them for a bit and then usually try to distract them with something else. I think it was his way of protecting me while still making sure he kept his beta position. Finn couldn’t go against Jordan.

People would say he was teasing me because he liked me. But I knew that was bullshit. No girl would fall for someone who called them names, right? Or maybe they did, but I wouldn’t. So many girls and women tried to sleep with Jordan. Maybe he was different with them, or maybe they didn’t care, because the idea of him choosing them over me was enough to ignore his behavior.

But Jordan never kept any girl longer than a few weeks. And then, when I became older and started looking more like a woman than a girl, it changed. He still called me names, but at the same time he tried to grope me or make crass comments. He hated me, but he always let me know that one day I would be his to use as he wished.

I wasn’t an insecure person by nature, but years of being called names did something to me. Jordan’s words stayed in my head, and I wasn’t sure who I was if I wasn’t his future Luna.

Was I a joke? Was I ugly and dumb? I tried to tell myself no, but being alone in that motel room wasn’t helping me calm down. I hadn’t eaten for a while; maybe eating something sweet would help me. Because eating your feelings away always helps, right? Not. I decided to get something from the vending machine down the hall. But I ran into Orion, too focused on my own feet.

I had learned to keep my head down and stay out of the way, trying to avoid Jordan and his friend. But walking around with your head down made me not pay any attention to my surroundings, and I bumped straight into the chest of Orion, which felt more like a brick wall. He held onto me to make sure I didn’t fall back and then let go, as if my touch repulsed him.

Jordan’s words came back from two days ago. "Nobody wants you; you’re worthless. You’re ugly. You should be grateful."

Shit. I needed to get out of here. Get some fresh air. Eat something.

I traveled for almost two days to get away from my pack, and even now, Jordan still has an effect on me. Will I ever be able to live a peaceful life without having to worry that he’ll find me? Will I ever be able to relax?

The motel had a small garden in the back, and I sat down, letting the sun hit my face. The weather was nice here, and there was blossom on the few trees that were planted in the garden. It wasn't much, but it helped me relax. Listening to the birds and the wind hitting the leaves of the trees.

I would just have to keep running until I turned eighteen. It was only a few more months until my birthday. Maybe once I get my wolf, I’ll be okay. She will be able to defend me, and I won’t be alone anymore.

The idea of a voice inside my head felt soothing to me, knowing I would always have my wolf with me. When I would hear Jordan's voice in my head, she would be able to counter it. Tell me everything will be okay and that I am worth something.

Or would she tell me to go back? Fulfill the prophecy and be with my mate?

The sun was starting to burn my skin, and I scolded myself for not wearing sunscreen. I healed faster than humans, but until I had my wolf, I would still have a sunburn for a short while if I wasn’t careful.

I went inside and got back to my room, emptying my backpack. Three books; jeans; some underwear; a tank top; a vest; and a shirt. Plus the dress I was wearing when I ran away and the money Finn had given me.

- - - -

Two days ago

"Hey Jordan, did you want to join me at that party later? I hear Tiffany is coming." Finn asked on the other side of Jordan’s wall.

I was lying on the ground, face down, scared of what Jordan would do next. I knew I shouldn’t have called for help; what if Finn gets into trouble because of me?

"I’m busy; come back later." Jordan said, walking towards me and looking ready to kill me. His eyes told me that if I made any noise, he'd make sure I'd regret it.

I had never seen him this angry. I probably should have let him do what he wanted, but it felt so wrong. I never spoke up before, but today I couldn’t hold back my tongue anymore.

"Sure, but they’re having a pre-party at Lindsey’s house. I’m heading there now. Josh said Tiffany is already wasted and in the jacuzzi. Didn’t you tell him to stay away from her?"

Tiffany was Jordan’s latest fling. I don’t think he's actually slept with her yet. I didn’t really care about any of it, especially not right now. I just needed to get out of here. I tried crawling away, but Jordan stuck his claws into my upper leg near my butt, where my dress had ridden up.

"Don’t say a fucking word." He whispered and dug them in a little deeper.

"I did tell Josh to stay away!" Jordan yelled out to my brother.

"Well, it sounded like he was going to make a move. But you already have a girl in your room, so you probably don’t give a shit, right? Anyway. Sorry, Jordan, for bothering you. I’ll see you tonight."

Jordan growled and removed his claws from my leg, hitting the desk with his fist. "Shit! You stay here; I’ll be back."

I nodded and tried to sit up and make myself smaller.

"I mean it, Isadora; if you leave this room, I’ll drag you right back here. Say it."

I nodded my head again. My throat felt sore, but if I didn’t speak, he’d hurt me even more. "I won’t leave."

Jordan pushed the door open far enough for him to exit but not for Finn to see me, and I heard him talking to Finn while walking down the hallway. What was I going to do? If I stayed, he would probably punish me again for denying him what was rightfully his, but if I left, I wasn’t sure what he would do. And where would I go anyway?

I could tell my parents, but Jordan was my future mate. My parents loved me, but they trusted that stupid prophecy too damn much. They didn’t see Jordan for what he was; they were too busy focusing on my future. Or their future. I wasn’t sure if they wanted me to be the Luna for me or for them. To have the honor of being the Luna's parents.

It didn’t matter anyway. Even if they tried to protect me, Jordan was the future Alpha, and he got away with anything. His father wouldn’t punish him and his mother didn't really like me anyway. And if Dad tried to fight Jordan, he would lose.

I pulled myself up and grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom to stem the bleeding in my leg, and I looked in the mirror. I had a black eye, and my throat was thick and blue. It was hard to swallow. My arm hurt too, and my leg was throbbing. I started to cry; I couldn't believe this happened. Was this how my life was going to be?

I must have stood there in the bathroom for twenty minutes until I heard someone enter the room. Was it Jordan? No. Please don't let it be Jordan.

"Izzy?" Finn asked softly. I had never been happier hearing my brother's voice.

He knocked on the bathroom door, and I didn’t know if I should hide, tell him to go away or let him in

"Izzy, please open the door."

I opened the bathroom door, and Finn growled when he saw me. "Fuck. That piece of shit."

"It’s not that bad." I said, almost out of instinct.

Finn shook his head and handed me an envelope. "You have to leave. Right now."

"What do you mean? Leave where? I can’t leave this room; Jordan said he’d drag me back here."

Finn cursed, "Leave this fucking pack. Go live with the humans. Anywhere. Don’t tell me where. Just leave. Life will only get worse, Izzy. Jordan is not a good guy."

"But mom and dad, and you..."

Finn gave me a hug, "I know it’s scary, and I’m sorry. But I just know that if you stay here, one day he’ll kill you. If he can do this to you in the packhouse filled with people, imagine what he’ll do once it’s just you and him living here. Once he’s alpha, he’ll get to do whatever he wants. Jordan has always hated that prophecy for some reason. I don’t have much time to explain, but I need you to go, Izzy. Please take the money I had saved for my car. It’s not much, but enough to give you a good head start until you can find a job somewhere. Leave your phone here and only take a backpack, so you don’t draw suspicion."

"No, you saved for that car for years! I can't leave anyway. They’ll catch me at the border."

Finn had asked for money instead of gifts for every birthday and holiday and had almost the money he needed to buy the car of his dreams. Dad promised to help pay for half the car's price, as long as Finn got the rest.

"One of the guards owes me a favor. Get into the back of his truck, and he’ll drive you past the border. Don’t try to call. I am sorry. I am really sorry, Izzy. But I think this will be the last time we’ll see each other."

I started crying again. This hurt more than any injury I had. I loved Finn, even more than I loved my parents.

"Please. I’ll be fine. I want to stay." I said, knowing deep down that Finn was right. I had to leave.

- - - -

"Izzy?"

I wiped away the tears that had fallen. I tried my best not to think about Finn; it was too painful knowing I would never see him again. I had been on the road until now and had pushed everything down. But now that I had time to relax, it all started to hit me. I would never be able to go home again.

There was a knock again. "Izzy, Erin asked if you want to join us for dinner? She said it’s on the house. Erin’s in a good mood; her son is coming over." Orion asked from the other side of the door.

I swallowed, making sure I didn’t sound like I had been crying. "I’ll be down in a few minutes, thank you."

Maybe being around people would distract me. And I was still hungry, and there was no way I was saying no to a free meal.