Chapter Thirty

8 years ago…

Nikolai was busy analyzing a case for a moot court competition.

… will argue that the city breached its duty of care by…

And now, he has to go back to reading the first part. Seems like legible, but hard-to-understand letters.

This won't do. He can spend the whole night reading the case details and arguments but if he doesn't keep his shit together, this will be the mark of his downfall. All those words he said to his parents, to prove that studying Law for him would be put to waste. All because he loved a girl.

It was getting counterproductive. The mild headache was a cry for a distraction and that was when he decided to go to the nearest bar. After all, he has mastered the art of drinking just the right amount of alcohol to be dizzy and not suffer through a damned hang-over the next day.

After a few glasses, he could see doubles of everything. He found solace in an empty park and sat on the swing.

“Nikolai.”

That was probably too much drink.  Even with his imagination, he couldn’t get what he wanted. A small part of him was hoping that he’d get drunk enough to see Stella. Instead, he’s seeing Belle.

“Nikolai, you're drunk. C’mon. You should go home. Why are you even here alone?”

“I'm not drunk. I'm also not okay. But it’s nothing for you to worry about, Isobelle.”

“Yeah, you definitely look not okay, Nick. Come on. Let’s go.”

“Why are you even doing here?”

“I came because you called me, Nick.” She showed Nikolai the multiple call attempts he made.

“Ah, that's not me. I mean, it shouldn't be you. I was supposed to call someone else.”

Belle looked down and placed her phone back in her bag. “I don't care. She's not here. I'm the one standing here in front of you.”

“I'm in love with someone else, Isobelle.”

“I know. I'm not forcing you to fall out of love. I know that is impossible.”

“It's impossible.” Nikolai was waiting to graduate from law school and become a lawyer. He'll work hard so everyone will know his name. Then, he’ll propose to Stella. Nikolai was sure that she was the one for her. All she had to do was patiently wait for a future they'd share together. 

All she had to do was trust him and wait for him, but she couldn’t. He couldn’t even understand why she had to choose someone else. Nothing makes sense at all.

“It's impossible,” Belle repeated. “This is also the reason why you can't force me to fall out of love with you.

“Isobelle, you shouldn’t be here with me. You’re my best friend's brother for crying out loud.”

She is off-limits. Nikolai knows that more than anyone. 

Preston cared for her sister so much and he’d be willing to move heavens and earth to those who’ll hurt Belle. He has no intention to be that man who will make his best friend lose his shit.

“I don’t see anything wrong with talking. My brother wouldn’t kill you for simply talking to me.”

There was a playful smile on Belle’s lips. He knows she has a crush on him. She may have never said that out loud, but her words and actions are pointing in that direction. From the get-go, he didn’t want to give her any motive that would make Belle think there was a chance for them.

Nikolai sighed in resignation. “Why do you even like me? You’re a great woman, Isobelle. You can have any man you want, just not me.”

Belle was caught off-guard with the question. Her feet were on the ground and her swing stopped moving.

“Because you’re you. I hope you can get inside this little head of mine so you’ll know how hard I try not to like you, Nikolai. No one in their right mind would choose to love someone who's in love with someone else. You see, that’s what I’ve been trying to point out. I didn’t voluntarily choose you. My eyes landed on you and then you have to smile that charming smile. It didn’t help that you were so kind to me. I hated that your voice would constantly play in my head. I like you. I really do. I wish these feelings were irreversible.”

Belle’s eyes sparkled after her confession. He later realized that those were actual tears when she started to wipe her eyes. He looked away, figuring she wouldn’t want to be seen crying. He got something from his pocket and reached out to Belle.

How ironic that the person who understood him the most was the person who loved him and who he couldn’t love back.

“Now that you said what you feel, forget about me. I'll take the anger and blame. Curse me all you can. Then, move on and find a man who deserves you, Isobelle. You're Preston's sister and you mean a lot to me too. I would like to see you be happy and not stuck in love with someone like me and-”

Before Nikolai could even finish his speech about falling out of love, Belle's face was right in front of him. His eyes were wide open and he saw her brown eyes slowly close before kissing him. She didn't move and their lips stayed still.

He was drowning in Belle's scent and her soft sweet lips. Her lips parted, inviting him to kiss her a little deeper. 

Nikolai knew what he had to do. His hand was on her shoulders intending to push her away. Before he could do it, Belle pulled away.

“Don't do this.” He pleaded. Looking at Belle's knees on the ground while he remained seated on the swing. “Did you not hear any of the words I just said?”

She gave her a sweet smile. His eyes were now on the lips that he just tasted.

“I did and I'm willing to ignore them all. Try forgetting her until you don't have to try anymore. Use me, Nick. Choose me.”

Present…

Years later, Nikolai is alone at the park where Belle once begged him to choose her.

Am I hallucinating?

From afar, he was looking at Belle, seated at the same spot years ago. Ah, no. It's not Belle. It's Hyacinth. 

What could she be doing there? Nikolai wanted to approach him and ask her where she had been all this time. She was no longer at the hotel and she took a leave from work.

He's worried sick and he wanted to ask him. Instead, he stayed where he was and tried to be content from where he was standing. Looking at Hyacinth from afar.

“Nikolai? Is that you?”

He couldn’t believe who he was seeing.

“Stella.”